There is hope yet for anyone who wants more out of Riverdale, as this episode mostly succeeds at the gargantuan task of trying to ground the drama across every subplot.
Sure, the episode winds down by still dipping its toe into this Stonewall Prep, every-Hardy-Boys-author-gets-murdered stupidity. But hey, at least the demonic doll is put to bed on the Cheryl front.
As for Betty? Not a lot on. So the Betty-only Report is gon’ be quick.
Yes, it’s a Zelena episode.
And a “magic does what we say it does” episode.
And a confirmation that the Black Fairy will have some tragic backstory episode.
And a wedding planning for Hook and Emma episode.
But still no Maleficent or Lily. Hmm.
The good news is that Cruella’s still around.
The bad news is that Once Upon a Time is doubling down on last episode’s pointless, minor character sob/backstory schtick by bringing back Hook’s brother. Who is even less valuable to events than Gold’s slutty wife.
All the dead characters in the world to choose from, and we get Bernard Curry. Good grief.
With Cora out of the way, I was worried we’d have to suffer a Fabulous Bitch Goddess vacuum.
Regina is way too friendly these days. And as camptacular as Queenie is in the flashbacks, she can’t affect anything important happening now.
So thank God OUaT threw us a bone with Cruella. After her “in car form only” snubbing last week, I didn’t expect it.
So Once Upon a Time is doing a double episode finale again.
I feel like Henry: strapped to a cart and struggling to be free.
Well, at least now I’ve got a couple of months off before Once Upon a Time returns for an exhausting season 5.
What Disney movies are out next year that it can sponge off of?
- 30 Rock
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