Dynasty Season 3 Episode 1 – TV Review
There’s not a whiff of soccer anywhere in this episode, so I’ll take that as a cautious good sign.
Also a cautious good sign: a change of showrunner (and the new distraction for Schwartz/Savage of Nancy Drew) has not killed Dynasty yet.
And as much soapy fun as a plastic surgery-induced recast was last season, we’ve now evolved to a straight-up recast with Daniella Alonso on the scene as Cristal 2.0, 2.0.
Long may Dynasty reign.
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Dynasty Season 2 Episode 18 – TV Review
Liam can do whatever he wants to me if he’s gonna be looking like that. Fuckin’ hell.
I can’t remember the last time I was this invested in a heterosexual romance. Because damn, Liam and Fallon are so compelling.
Oh, and Alexis’ face is revealed and it’s shocking and horrifying. Alexis is going to need to learn that she’ll pale next to Liam.
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Dynasty Season 2 Episode 11 – TV Review
Forget the cautious optimism of Riverdale. Dynasty is a motherfucking shoot, baby!
From forgettable to iconic in the space of only a week, Dynasty again proves it is the supreme soap opera dujour.
Could this be the best episode of Dynasty yet? Better than Thanksgiving?
Oh, honey. It’s close.
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Pretty Little Liars Season 7 Episode 20 – TV Review
I, however, made the grave mistake of watching it stone cold sober.
I have regrets.
There are only three possible explanations for how Pretty Little Liars turned out:
1) I. Marlene King is clinically insane;
2) I. Marlene King is the greatest troll of the decade; or
3) I. Marlene King is just an incompetent, egomaniacal dickhead.
Don’t you wish it was anything but number 3? Sigh.
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Once Upon a Time Season 6 Episode 3 – TV Review
You know the sound that comes next.
I know this episode is supposed to be about Cinderella. But, like, who cares?
Forget it, people. It’s Queenie Town.
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Pretty Little Liars Season 7 Episode 7 – TV Review
“Ezra who?”
I can’t do this, anymore.
Just let it be over. Please.
Only thirteen episodes to go. God save me.
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Pretty Little Liars Season 6 Episode 18 – TV Review
Just barely holding on, ladies. It’s all you can do.
Well who could have predicted it, but I might have to eat my words about PLL taking the inevitable plunge back into unwatchable, retarded shit territory.
Because damn, this ship is crooked, but I must concede, it’s yet to capsize.
Just hold on for two more episodes. Please.
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Pretty Little Liars Season 6 Episode 14 – TV Review
If PLL keeps giving them to me, I’m going to keep doing them.
In this episode, B makes a bold claim about how, unlike A, they don’t hide in the shadows, bitch. They’re out here in the open and they’re comin’ to get you.
So, naturally, their approach is to hide in the shadows and send ominous text messages and literally wear a mask.
Brave.
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Pretty Little Liars Season 6 Episode 13 – TV Review
There seems to be a lot of that going around lately.
Lucas’ unnecessary return aside, I’m glad to say this is actually an engaging episode of Pretty Little Liars.
The soap suds are thick, as expected, but they don’t get in the way of the actual plot.
So I suppose this is our final hope spot before it all comes tumbling down.
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Pretty Little Liars Season 6 Episode 9 – TV Review
I probably would have just drank straight from the bottle rather than dirtying four glasses, but who am I to judge someone else’s alcohol abuse?
Yes, we’re only one episode from the big Charles reveal.
And PLL certainly likes to rub our faces in it, by closing this episode with an offscreen unmasking.
Because satisfaction isn’t on the Pretty Little Liars priority list.
