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The Vampire Diaries Season 5 Episode 7 – TV Review

TVD Katherine Elena Amara

Like it’s even a question.

Well, the doppelganger three-ring circus comes to a swift close. Thankfully.

Nina Dobrev needed to be cut some slack, hey.

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Ravenswood Season 1 Episode 2 – TV Review

Ravenswood Caleb Hanna

“What do you mean ‘not until January?'”

And by “Ravenswood,” I mean Ravenswood the show.

Ravenswood the town isn’t a barrel of fun, either.

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The Originals Season 1 Episode 5 – TV Review

The Originals Marcel shirtless in bed

And Camille. And Sophie.

And me, of course.

And Marcel just keeps getting more and more saintly. His attractiveness is seriously distracting.

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BATGit Insane: Beauty and the Geek Australia Premiere – Blog

Beauty and the Geek Australia Nathan war dance challenge

Sadly, he doesn’t win.

Already watched Australia’s worst dating show?

Well, now you can watch the second worst.

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Beauty & the Beast – Discontinued

Beauty & the Beast Cat

Why count sheep, when you can count Cat’s lack of independence?

I haven’t got time to waste on following this show.

And given just how empty my life is, that says a lot.

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The Originals Season 1 Episode 1 – TV Review

The Originals Rebekah premiere

Nah, babe. Go back to your book.

The Originals is finally here.

Again.

Umm…

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Pretty Little Liars Season 4 Episode 7 – TV Review

Pretty Little Liars Emily legs

Though it would be hard to compete with dem legs.

Hanna Fashionistard Counter:
This week is a bummer.
Our count is now 5 in the stink, 2 in the pink (the colour pink being better than stinky. Don’t overthink my terrible puns).

Hanna’s mixture of bland and bizarre outfits aside, you can look forward to trespass, vandalism, theft, and vehicular damage this episode.

You know, the usual.

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Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters – It’s Not Shit

Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters incest subtext

You keep telling yourselves that.

Ever wanted to see Hansel and Gretel portrayed by the least impressive Avenger and Bond Girl B from that other Daniel Craig Bond film?

Well Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters doesn’t care what you want. You get what you goddamn get.

Luckily, that usually involves burst skulls.

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Oz the Great and Powerful – Film Review

Oz the Great and Powerful Evanora Glinda green lightning magic

Except China Girl. Because she’s shit.

Much like my dilemma with Chris Pine, I still can’t decide if James Franco is hot or not.

Most of the time it’s okay, but then he smiles and his eye crinkles explode and engulf the entire known universe.

Oh, there’re also witches or something in this movie. I was distracted.

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Beauty & the Beast Season 1 – Season Review

Beauty & the Beast Kristin Kreuk Jay Ryan kiss

It’s The CW’s formula.

Considering I made the effort for Arrow, I thought it was only fair to give Beauty & the Beast a fair shot.

Let me tell you: sitting through all 22 goddamn episodes of this drivel was tough.

And I’ve seen every episode of Jersey Shore.

Yeah, it’s that tough.

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