Tag Archive | 1

The Apparition – Film Review

The Apparition Ashley Greene

No, Stephenie! Don’t listen to her. She’s crazy.

You’d think I would have had enough of shitty, empty horror movies this week.

Apparently I need to be a bit more discerning in my search for the next Absentia.

Or at least have the sense to stay away from anything featuring a Twilight refugee in a lead role.

My bad, guys.

Read More…

TV Review: Revenge Season 2 Episodes 21 and 22

Revenge Victoria

Considering how real shit is about to get, I thought I’d start off with something light.

The last time there was a double episode finale I wasn’t ready.

This time I knew it was coming and, considering this is Revenge and not 30 Rock, I was quite ready for it to all be over.

But dammit, ABC. Now I actually want to watch next season. I’ve come so far.

They must have sucked the effort out of the Once Upon a Time finale and injected it here.

Read More…

TV Review: Snooki & JWoww Season 1 Episodes 8, 9, 10, 11, 12

Snooki & JWoww Ryder bed Cancun

Omg, ikr?

So if you haven’t noticed (I’m not that deluded. I know you haven’t), I kinda just stopped doing Snooki & JWoww. I haven’t watched an episode in almost 2 months.

It was a combination of going on holiday for a week, which ended up coinciding with 2 episodes, thus fucking up my entire schedule.

Also, this show is boring and I’ve had no compulsion to return to it in 2 fucking months.

But seeing as Jersey season 6 (the last one! Nooo!) is about to start this week, I figured I better wrap this shit up.

Get ready for some abridged fucking reviews.

Read More…

TV Review: Once Upon a Time Season 1 Episode 22

Once Upon a Time Regina crying cry Henry pillow sad

Now what will I complain about? …huh? Season 2 starts in about 2 weeks? Well, then.

Oh, thank fuck, we’re finally here.

And to be honest, this season finale does a pretty good job of redeeming this otherwise dull series.

Also, I actually felt genuine emotion for a character for the first time. I’m gettin’ soft.

Read More…

Film Review: Breaking Wind

Breaking Wind Edward Jacob Kiss

It’s only a parody, but it’s the closest those fangirls are ever gonna get.

I know I know I know.

Guaranteed garbage, amirite? An easy target?

Not really, apparently.

Read More…

TV Review: Once Upon a Time Season 1 Episode 10

Once Upon a Time Rumplestiltskin Robert Carlyle evil

“Now give me your SOUL! What?”

David and Mary: proving themselves the masters of zero-stakes melodrama.

Also, dwarves.

Read More…

TV Review: Snooki & JWoww Season 1 Episode 4

Snooki Duck Face

Snooki practices her audition for Duck Hunt: The Movie. What? Fucking Battleship happened. Don’t tempt fate.

Roger isn’t in this episode.

And.

That.

Is.

Not.

Okay.

Luckily, the Jersey Shore castmates help fill the gap.

Read More…

TV Review: Snooki & JWoww Season 1 Episode 1

Snooki & JWoww episode 1

Being pregnant sucks! Waah!

Okay, so I actually watched the right episode this time. Still appreciated the clip show, though.

I didn’t think I could find anything to tide me over until Jersey Shore comes back (and the season 5 DVDs still haven’t been fucking released yet), but I’m thinkin’ S&J might just be what I need.

Read More…

TV Review: Snooki & JWoww Season 1 Episode 0

Snooki & JWoww season 1 boobs

Needs more silicone.

Fuck yeah, finally a good Jersey Shore spinoff (Pauly D’s show is terrible).

Pity this isn’t it.

Read More…

TV Review: Once Upon a Time Season 1 Episode 4

Jesus Christ, after last episode’s skull-shreddingly uninteresting crap, I would have been happy with anything this time. Like, watching the Kardashians sober anything. I’m that desperate.

Luckily, it delivered.

Read More…

%d bloggers like this: