Did you really think Dynasty could get everyone into a courtroom and then resist trotting out the Alexis reveal?
And I’m so glad for their lack of willpower. Because it is camp, bitch.
Still kinda waiting for Nathalie Kelley to jump out of a box, though. That would be the gag of the entire series.
It was going to be a tough ask to compete with the Thanksgiving episodes of seasons past (could anything ever out-gay the Wizard of Oz fantasy sequence?), and this episode sadly doesn’t live up to those standards.
But goddamn, the closing scene got me in what I will happily proclaim is the gag of the season.
And with dreamy bedroom eyes Liam opening the episode, it’s not a bad sandwich. The turkey’s just a little dry in the middle. That’s all.
I’m basically taking a pass on this week’s episode.
Save for a last second reveal that I don’t care much about (and if we’re talking last second reveals, Riverdale ain’t got nothing on this week’s Dynasty), Betty’s only here to do legwork for Jughead’s stupid boarding school subplot.
Let’s get this shit on so we can go home.
I honestly don’t know what I’d do without it. It’s the only thing I genuinely look forward to each week.
Sorry, Supergirl. You gotta get it together, honey.
The non-Betty subplots of this episode are so appallingly bad that I won’t even vaguely reference them this time.
It’s unfathomable to me how anyone who was involved in the production of the stellar first season of Riverdale could look at what it’s become and say they’re proud of it.
All hope is lost. The second Betty’s storyline hits a bump the road, I’m abandoning ship, y’all.