The Originals Season 5 Episode 6 – TV Review

The Originals What Will I Have Left Klaus Caroline car

Looks like the Elijah Sex Face Parade is gonna have some stiff competition with the Fuck Me Daddy Klaus Eyes.

My final note after watching this episode was “what the fuck were the writers thinking?”

And to be fair, we haven’t reached I. Marlene King levels of WTFery yet.

But seriously?

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Riverdale Season 2 Episode 22 – TV Review

Riverdale Brave New World Kevin Moose kiss

It’s a gay off.

Despite Kevin and Moose finally getting it together after all this time, this episode has nowhere near the sense of culmination that the Season 1 finale did.

Probably because Season 1 was a slight-to-moderately heightened teen soap opera, whereas Season 2 is this blood-drenched, gangland nonsense, serial killer pit of darkness.

Reel it in, Season 3. Reel it in.

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The Originals Season 5 Episode 5 – TV Review

The Originals Don't it Just Break Your Heart Elijah sex face

The Hotness Parade has evolved.

But if he’s not doing it with Hayley, do we even want it?

Also Antoinette actually is a secret villain or is she hyuck hyuck.

Really, The Originals?

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Once Upon a Time Season 7 Episode 22 – TV Review

OUaT Leaving Storybrooke Regina Robin

Well, to be fair, Regina is the one that got me. Bitch.

It’s finally over. And for all my venom and bluster against this show over the years, there will be no gravedancing like there was with PLL.

Sure, even right to the very end this episode is full of plot contrivances and last minute twists that come out of nowhere. But amid all that, Once Upon a Time, much like it has for almost its entire run, found the one true thing within it all:

Regina.

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Once Upon a Time Season 7 Episode 21 – TV Review

OUaT Homecoming Cruella

Does being a Wish Realm copy count as being back, though?

I thought that this was going to be a trademark OUaT double episode finale, so let me just start by saying how grateful I am that it wasn’t.

Nobody deserves to sit through two hours of OUaT.

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The Originals Season 5 Episode 4 – TV Review

The Originals Between the Devil and the Deep Blue Sea Klaus Josh

Whatever happened to Danny from Teen Wolf?

Nah, just kidding. Klaus doesn’t hook up with Josh.

But what he does do is arbitrarily kill some barely-named, nothing minor characters.

This is the kind of quality content we’ve been looking for in our final season, right?

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Dynasty Season 1 Episode 22 – TV Review

Dynasy Dead Scratch Alexis champagne

Which is fitting, because Dynasty is now the best version of itself, too.

Dynasty doesn’t drop the ball in its season finale.

Let your pearls be unclutched. We did it, baby.

The challenge is now on for you, Riverdale.

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