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The Vampire Diaries Season 8 Episode 9 – TV Review

TVD The Simple Intimacy of the Near Touch Sybil Miss Mystic Falls

This episode is as confused as this terrible attempt at a caption.

I mean, I knew the Sirens were tedious and arbitrary.

But did they have to shed that same arbitrary tedium all over our main characters, too?

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The Vampire Diaries Season 8 Episode 8 – TV Review

TVD We Have History Together Alexandra Chando

For the second season in a row? Oh, Rayna.

At least Alexandra Chando’s young doctor doesn’t tease us with the possibility of becoming an actual character, like Rayna did.

And it was nice of TVD to throw her a bone after passing her up all those years ago, thereby sentencing her to ABC Family Hell.

Thanks, Season 8.

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The Vampire Diaries Season 8 Episode 7 – TV Review

TVD The Next Time I Hurt Somebody It Could Be You Caroline drinking

Is this not appropriate weeknight behaviour?

Well, the fucking twins are still around.

And TVD pulls a plot point that it already used five seasons ago.

I don’t know if even Katherine’s return could save things at this point.

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The Vampire Diaries Season 8 Episode 6 – TV Review

TVD Detoured on Some Random Backwards Path to Hell Damon dead

Damon’s off to Hell. Again.

You’d think Damon’s staking would be a bit more climactic.

Too bad it’s mired in flawed logic and needless melodrama.

Welcome to TVD Season 8: The Death Throes.

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The Vampire Diaries Season 8 Episode 5 – TV Review

TVD Coming Home Was A Mistake Caroline gun

When she inevitably gets fired from her journalism job for never actually going to work, it’s an idea.

This episode shows that TVD evidently feels bad about offing Tyler so unceremoniously. So, to compensate, everyone pretends to have been super invested in him all along. Which is hilariously false.

The Tyler indignity continues.

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The Vampire Diaries Season 8 Episode 4 – TV Review

TVD An Eternity of Misery Damon

No use sighin’ about Sirens, Damon.

Yes. Sirens. Plural.

Because why settle for one should-have-been-on-Supernatural villainess who struggles to act, when you can have two?

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The Vampire Diaries Season 8 Episode 3 – TV Review

TVD You Decided I Was Worth Saving Sybil Katherine

Bitch, you are not even close.

Tonight, someone dies.

But it’s not any of the three central characters involved in the obviously toothless death ultimatum plot.

I do feel kind of bad for Tyler, though. Even Sarah bloody Salvatore got a whole episode for her death. All Tyler gets is a single scene?

Ouch.

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