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The Originals Season 5 Episode 13 – TV Review

The Originals When the Saints Go Marching In Camille cameo

Come for the Camille, stay for the bizarre slap in the face to fans that this pathetic excuse for a series finale turns out to be.

Much like last episode, I would be hesitant to call this episode, and series finale, a trainwreck. Because trainwrecks are actually exciting.

If I had to distill The Originals series finale down to one word (and this is the Internet, baby. Distilling complex ideas into clickbaity, list format is the name of the game), it would be “meh.”

And “meh” is not how I want to feel about the finale of what once was the best vampire soap opera on the CW.

Even the TVD finale wasn’t meh (it wasn’t good, either. But you know).

It makes me wonder how much of a garbage dump the Legacies finale will be. And by “finale,” I mean at the end of the first season. Do you really think that it’ll be renewed?

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The Originals Season 5 Episode 12 – TV Review

The Originals A Tale of Two Wolves Caroline

Actually, that’s not fair. Trainwrecks are exciting.

You know what I didn’t want to be about about The Originals’ final season? Apathetic.

But we don’t always get what we want.

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The Originals Season 5 Episode 11 – TV Review

The Originals Til the Day I Die Freya wedding dress

20gayteen is more than halfway over, baby. We gotta get it while we can.

The only thing this gay wedding was missing was some good old soap opera drama hijinks.

And no, I don’t count this last minute Do We Want Kids talk as drama.

I thought lesbians were supposed to be more organised than this?

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The Originals Season 5 Episode 10 – TV Review

The Originals There in the Disappearing Light Hope Hollow nuke

Who do you think you are with those blue contact lenses? Coco Montrese?

In an unrelated note, I saw a Toyota ad today with Ginger Spice from TVD.

See? There is a life after TVD. And it isn’t to keep setting up Hope for that Legacies spin-off.

I’m just not keen, okay?

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The Originals Season 5 Episode 9 – TV Review

The Originals We Have Not Long to Love Freya Keelin bombing

Sidebar: Freya’s “just got suicide bombed” hair is fucking delicious, honey.

The Originals continues its theft of things from Once Upon a Time, it seems.

Not only did they pillage Jaime Murray, but now they’ve followed OUaT Season 7’s plan of hurriedly dumping all the new stuff you introduced in your final season in the ramp up to the series finale.

I mean, I’ll allow it. But why emulate OUaT?

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The Originals Season 5 Episode 8 – TV Review

The Originals The Kindness of Strangers Elijah hot

Should we make Kameron an honorary Mikaelson? Her last name’s almost there as it is.

Wait, so you’re telling me an episode that features meaningful conflict and stakes between established main characters is better than wading through suddenly-prophecies and nobody vampire Nazis?

That’s crazy.

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The Originals Season 5 Episode 7 – TV Review

The Originals God's Gonna Trouble the Waters Antoinette

Forget her, Elijah. She’s just vampire Nazi trash.

I’d like to first start this post by correcting an error I made last episode: there was Hollow-quake action at the house when Elijah and Klaus were fighting. Remember that random hail? Yeah, I didn’t last week, either.

But if a Hollow-quake happens in the woods, but it doesn’t affect the scene in any way and only pretends to be important when it’s brought up by a C-list character in the next episode in a suddenly-prophecy, does it make a story-impactful sound?

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