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Once Upon a Time Season 7 Episode 9 – TV Review

OUaT One Little Tear Nick Jacinda kiss

Did Jackson’s fate teach you nothing?

I haven’t got a good excuse for delaying this one like I did with Riverdale a couple of episodes ago.

I just didn’t feel like watching OUaT until today. Because it’s a dull parody of itself these days.

But you already knew that.

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Once Upon a Time Season 7 Episodes 7 and 8 – TV Review

OUaT Eloise Gardener Fook and Rapunzel kiss

Emma boo.

I’m not even going to pretend like I’m okay with an OUaT double episode when things are already this dire.

Seriously, ABC? Do you want us to stop watching?

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Once Upon a Time Season 7 Episode 6 – TV Review

OUaT Wake Up Call Regina day drag

This is not the first, nor will it be the last time I compare Regina to a drag queen.
She is the Gina Liano of OUaT.

This episode is titled Wake Up Call.

And thank goodness it is.

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Once Upon a Time Season 7 Episode 5 – TV Review

OUaT Greenbacks Adelaide Kane

Come on, Season 7. Let’s get slightly more interesting.

Step aside, Victoria.

No, seriously. You’re an embarrassment.

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Once Upon a Time Season 7 Episode 4 – TV Review

OUaT Beauty Belle old

What was even the point then?

I think it’s time that I came to terms with the fact that Once Upon a Time didn’t reboot itself. Fuck me and my misinterpretation of the main cast exodus and pre-release press.

No, baby. This is more like The Vampire Diaries post-Elena.

And that ain’t good.

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Once Upon a Time Season 7 Episode 3 – TV Review

OUaT The Garden of Forking Paths Regina outfit

But I’m glad you did.

Queenie lives on through Regina’s inexplicable fashion choices.

I wouldn’t mind having actual Queenie back, though.

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Once Upon a Time Season 7 Episode 2 – TV Review

OUaT A Pirate's Life Emma Henry

It’s crushing her!

Yes, Jennifer Morrison thought she was finally free of OUaT.

But then they lured her back and tried to drown her in a distractingly enormous wig.

She and Tina from Arrow need to start an awareness campaign.

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