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Once Upon a Time Season 7 Episode 17 – TV Review

OUaT Chosen Sabine

It’s what Henry deserves. Because Sabine/Tiana should have been our lead and no I won’t stop saying it.

Don’t get your hopes up too much, people. The above image is deceptive.

It’s actually a Zelena episode.

But possibly the final Zelena episode?

Okay, I’m in. You got me.

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Dynasty Season 1 Episode 18 – TV Review

Dynasty Don't Con a Con Artist Alexis Evil Queen

But, like, a really good episode of OUaT. So nothing post-Season 2.

I feel comforted that my obnoxious Drag Race meme and vernacular-dropping when praising Dynasty was evidently foreshadowing the arrival of Alexis Carrington.

Watch out Gina Liano. You’re not the only biological woman in town who could snatch the crown.

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Once Upon a Time Season 7 Episode 16 – TV Review

OUaT Breadcrumbs Sabine Rogers

I am the queen of recycling.

But why does an episode titled “Breadcrumbs” and ostensibly about the reveal of Hansel’s identity have unrelated, bland Henry flashbacks?

Or am I expecting a little too much out of OUaT to give reasons for why the flashbacks are bland?

Yeah. I’m seven season in at this point. I should know better. Sorry.

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Once Upon a Time Season 7 Episode 15 – TV Review

OUaT Sisterhood Gretel Drizella

Don’t you miss vintage TVD? Sigh.

Before we get started, let me firstly assuage your fears:

Although the episode is titled “Sisterhood,” Zelena does not appear at all.

We’re all clear, baby.

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Dynasty Season 1 Episode 17 – TV Review

Dynasty Enter Alexis Cristal laughing

What a time be gay.

I would happily get day drunk and watch poolside catfights every day if I could.

Let me live your life, Cristal.

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Riverdale Season 2 Episode 17 – TV Review

Riverdale The Noose Tightens Toni Cheryl kiss

But I’ll give this one a pass because it’s atmospheric.

Who knew that in an episode about thwarting the evils of gay conversion that our true hope spot would be the realisation of just how pathetically fragile Hiram is, and the confirmation of Archie’s unfounded bravado?

It’s good to be back, Riverdale.

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Once Upon a Time Season 7 Episode 14 – TV Review

OUaT The Girl in the Tower Regina Samdi date

I wouldn’t say no to being the meat in the middle of a Regina/Samdi sandwich.

The good thing about this episode is that it’s ambitionless and inoffensive.

The bad thing is you have to listen to a lot of Tilly/Alice’s accent.

Hey, it could be worse.

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