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Me and Earl and the Dying Girl – It’s Not Shit

Me and Earl and the Dying Girl Olivia Cooke Rachel

But goddamn, it wasn’t easy.

Yes, the star of Ouija and the director of The Town That Dreaded Sundown join forces to make a touching and cleverly funny movie about teen cancer?

I don’t know what I did to deserve this, but I’ll take it.

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It Follows – It’s Not Shit

It Follows Jay chloroform scene

Relatively speaking.

It’s about time I featured another horror movie, my most beloved of genres, on It’s Not Shit. It’s been almost two years since the last one. And that one was nowhere near as gripping as It Follows.

Which is almost as gripping as a big, strong man holding you down while putting chloroform in your face before giving you a lecture on a hell demon he’s just given you via his penis.

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Jurassic World – It’s Not Shit

Jurassic World ugly cry face

Dare to dream.

God, and I tried so hard to put a full year between It’s Not Shit posts.

I think I need to seek out better movies.

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Non-Stop – It’s Not Shit

Non-Stop Liam Neeson Julianne Moore text projection

I know the audience appreciates it.

Liam Neeson.

Julianne Moore.

Plane thriller.

Who knew the recipe to happiness was so simple?

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Veronica Mars – It’s Not Shit

Veronica Mars movie

To the tune of $110, yes I would.

And by “Veronica Mars,” I mean the movie. Not the show.

Although, the show is also massively not shit.

Can you tell I’m a fan?

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G.B.F. – It’s Not Shit

GBF Darren Stein

And a TLA for the title? Omg.

I don’t know, Darren Stein. Jawbreaker was 15 years ago. And All About Evil was cute, but definitely flawed.

Will going back to high school work?

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I Spit On Your Grave 2 – It’s Not Shit

I Spit On Your Grave 2 Katie model

“Nothing. You have a nude scene. Did you not read the script?”

I haven’t posted an It’s Not Shit since 9 September (thanks, Sinister).

Which tells you a bit about the calibre of films I’ve been watching lately.

And who knew a shameless, unoriginal sequel like this would be the combo breaker?

It’s a cruel world.

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Sinister – It’s Not Shit

Sinister Ethan Hawke

He’s gonna take that back when he sees the ending.

I said I was done with searching for a fabulous horror movie.

But, you know, the malcontent thing.

So I’m gonna say it definitively this time: my search for a fabulous horror movie is over.

Let a new search begin!

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Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters – It’s Not Shit

Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters incest subtext

You keep telling yourselves that.

Ever wanted to see Hansel and Gretel portrayed by the least impressive Avenger and Bond Girl B from that other Daniel Craig Bond film?

Well Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters doesn’t care what you want. You get what you goddamn get.

Luckily, that usually involves burst skulls.

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The Paperboy – It’s Not Shit

The Paperboy Zac Efron underwear naked

Oh, I’m pretty happy with this, Zac. But do go on.

There were only 2 things I knew about The Paperboy before I started watching it:

1) Zac Efron appears in many scenes sans clothes.

2) Nicole Kidman pees on him.

How could anyone resist?

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