It Follows – It’s Not Shit
It’s about time I featured another horror movie, my most beloved of genres, on It’s Not Shit. It’s been almost two years since the last one. And that one was nowhere near as gripping as It Follows.
Which is almost as gripping as a big, strong man holding you down while putting chloroform in your face before giving you a lecture on a hell demon he’s just given you via his penis.
Jurassic World – It’s Not Shit
God, and I tried so hard to put a full year between It’s Not Shit posts.
I think I need to seek out better movies.
Non-Stop – It’s Not Shit
Plane thriller.
Who knew the recipe to happiness was so simple?
Veronica Mars – It’s Not Shit
And by “Veronica Mars,” I mean the movie. Not the show.
Although, the show is also massively not shit.
Can you tell I’m a fan?
G.B.F. – It’s Not Shit
I don’t know, Darren Stein. Jawbreaker was 15 years ago. And All About Evil was cute, but definitely flawed.
Will going back to high school work?
Sinister – It’s Not Shit
I said I was done with searching for a fabulous horror movie.
But, you know, the malcontent thing.
So I’m gonna say it definitively this time: my search for a fabulous horror movie is over.
Let a new search begin!
Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters – It’s Not Shit
Ever wanted to see Hansel and Gretel portrayed by the least impressive Avenger and Bond Girl B from that other Daniel Craig Bond film?
Well Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters doesn’t care what you want. You get what you goddamn get.
Luckily, that usually involves burst skulls.
The Paperboy – It’s Not Shit
There were only 2 things I knew about The Paperboy before I started watching it:
1) Zac Efron appears in many scenes sans clothes.
2) Nicole Kidman pees on him.
How could anyone resist?