Dynasty Season 3 Episode 20 – TV Review

Fallon in the middle there is my anxiety that this season will end on an abrupt, COVID-19 shaped sour note.

Alas, it is true. This episode is the de facto season finale of our beloved Dynasty thanks to the pandemic.

And while not ending on a high note, you can at least rest easy that the CW didn’t try to chop together some rushed, Pushing Daisies Season 2 finale-esque bullshit.

Aww. Now I’m sad about Dynasty, and about Pushing Daisies.

TL;DR Fallon and friends have a The Hangover-style wacky adventure that doesn’t really mean anything; Alexis seduces Jeff; Adam blows up an oil refinery to get back at Blake; Alan Dale finally catches on to Adam’s villainy.

Is anybody going to ask Steven for his opinion? No?

So let’s get into this juicy, mostly pointless Hangover caper, baby. Because it sure is fun. Fallon is mad that Liam didn’t tell her about the kidnapping earlier last episode, and in her tizzy decides she wants to write up a massive prenup that is essentially just a contract to make him do what she wants. Sam and Kirby, along with Cristal and Fallon’s cute assistant from a couple of episodes ago, whisk Fallon away on a Vegas (I think?) bachelorette party. But things take a wolf pack turn for the worse, when they all wake up hungover and trashed the next morning (thanks to some spiked cocktails from their dodgy private mixologist). They follow the breadcrumbs to a bar where the assistant fell off a mechanical bull, then to a costume store they robbed, then to jail (but quickly bailed out), then to a male strip club, with the end result being that Fallon didn’t really get drunkenly married. No, Sam did. To a hot stripper dude named Scorpio. Fallon gets her ring back, and some newfound understanding of why Liam might see her as genuinely impulsive, so she burns up the pre-nup; Sam gets an annulment with Scorpio, but also a new flirtation with him, too; Cristal solidifies her sisterhood with Fallon; and Kirby reveals to everyone she’s boinking Adam. Meanwhile, Adam begins his schemes against Blake by tipping off some investigation board to his shoddily obtained Moldavian oil. Blake easily parries by calling in a favour with a bigwig that can stop it. Despite Adam’s attempts to spook her off with some false flag Moldavian terrorism, Blake comes out on top. Until Adam pays someone to poison the oil and it then explodes the oil refinery. Blake isn’t so smug about that one. Meanwhile, Alexis find Jeff in bed with his old college flame. She’s about ready to give up all this soap operatic, fake marriage nonsense, but Adam talks her (offscreen) into the next phase of their grand plan. So she then plays a gambit to make Jeff think Old College Flame is a gold-digging sugar baby. And when he immediately sees through it, she just throws herself at him, and he accepts. Oh, and in the subplot that ends up being our truncated season-ending cliffhanger, Alan Dale is spurred into snooping into Adam’s past when he learns Kirby is dating him. Despite Alexis still staying tight-lipped, he gets his hands on her hospital records which all but prove Adam shoved her face into a fireplace that one time. Both Blake and Kirby refuse to heed his warnings, and the season ends as Alan Dale gets onto the jet in search of more dirt.

To see Steven!?

So that’s it, my girls and gays (and you drama-loving straight guys. I know you’re there). Dynasty Season 3 ends with a competent, strong, definitely-meant-to-be-the-third-from-last episode.

I mean, I guess we should just be grateful that it didn’t get chopped off at the penultimate Episode 21. That would have been torturous.

Almost as bad as getting your face shoved into a fire.

 

Why I hate this episode:

I know this is a silly soap opera and it lives on the preservation of the status quo, but it really is absurd that neither Blake nor Kirby are even slightly convinced by Alan Dale that Adam is bad news. Blake, in what is actually a pretty funny moment, rebuffs the findings of Adam’s sealed juvenile records with a “duh, we know he’s violent. He burned down my vineyard.” Yeah, exactly. Wake up.

And as for Alexis, it makes me a little sad that she’s still protecting Adam. I hope that next season she might finally get her revenge. She deserves it.

I know it’s not fair to grade this episode as a true finale, but I will bemoan the general absence of Liam and Dominique.

Cristal is basically a glorified extra during the hangover caper. They try to give her presence some personality by constantly saying she was the most wasted, but it never really fits right. Just like Cristal 2.0 (Ana Brenda and Daniella both).

Oh, and I joked last episode that we couldn’t have a Fallon bachelorette party without Monica. But here we fucking are. It’s not right, and it’s not okay.

 

But it’s not all bad:

Nope. No “on the other hand” silver lining to this one. Where the actual fuck is Monica, Dynasty?

Anyway, onto that bachelorette party, and what it lacks in substance, it more than makes up for in silly delight. I think the perfect encapsulation of it is that the gang just keep running around in their (as we find out, stolen) kitschy party attire. Kirby’s big, pink, frilly nightmare dress and frilly white gloves are truly iconic.

The caper is unabashedly The Hangover-inspired, starting out with everyone waking up in the trashed apartment with a hazardous animal on the loose (in this case, a snake). As for the missing friend, Dynasty puts a little twist on this by not having anyone notice the assistant is actually missing until the third location, which is after they’ve been arrested and then bailed out.

Speaking of that bailout, that’s thanks to Culhane, who provides a playful presence, and also some sincere advice for Fallon to trust Liam. I’ve said it before and I’ll keep saying it: Fallon and Culhane are a way better team when they’re not also on the OTP track.

Of course, when they find the assistant at the hospital, she’s able to lead them to the final location (thanks to a message scrawled on her back), which is the male strip club. Top marks to Miss Thing, too, when she flashes and then leads the bouncer away when he tries to bar the gang from entry. Yes, Fallon. She does need a raise.

Lachlan Buchanan enters the episode as the stripper, Scorpio, and he is one fine piece of BAWG meat. He seems like a nice flirtation for Sam, and hey, if he’s willing to take his shirt off frequently, I’m on board.

Alexis very nearly steals the show from Fallon this episode with her shameless, and wonderfully successful seduction of Jeff. The “Old College Flame is a sugar baby” gambit is almost a little too trite, but this actually ends up working in the episode’s favour when Jeff reveals that he immediately saw through it because it was so basic. But when Alexis Carrington then throws herself at you while you’re already shirtless, no man can resist.

Alexis nabs the best line of the episode when Jeff becomes exasperated with her relentlessness:
Jeff: “Don’t you ever run out of plans?”
Alexis, after a confused beat: “No.”
It’s like the thought had never occurred to her. And I’m glad for that.

Adam is actually the true dark horse of the episode. Sure, I wasn’t much invested in the little dance he had Blake doing with his secret contact (that smoke grenade was kind of blah), but damn, I have to respect a guy who’s willing to blow up a fucking oil refinery just to grief his bad dad. And it’s okay, because nobody got hurt.

Well, this time, at least. Because as Alan Dale finds out, Adam totally shoved Alexis into a fire once before. It’s about time somebody finally decided to take Adam to task for this.

Sadly, Kirby doesn’t believe it for a stupid, lovestruck second. But this does precipitate a darkly impressive beat in the episode, wherein Kirby and Adam are relaxing in the remodelled loft and she tells him of her father’s preposterous tale. The camera pans out to double frame Adam and Kirby on the couch, with a row of candles that have replaced the fireplace in the foreground of the shot. While Adam omniously moves his gaze to the candles. It gave me the chills, baby.

There’s a nice callback to how Fallon and Liam’s relationship began when Scorpio says that Sam proposed to him because he was inspired by Fallon’s reminiscence of her and Liam getting married when they were strangers. Aww.

Cristal wears another delicious, white outfit this episode.

Oh, and Fallon may not have been enjoying herself during the strip sequence. But I was.

He hasn’t eaten a carbohydrate in nine years. The least you could do is cop a consensual feel.

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About ijusthateeverything

Sincerity is death.

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