Dynasty Season 3 Episode 11 – TV Review

If only the breakup scene could have been shirtless, too.

Oh, Fletcher. We hardly knew ye.

But don’t worry about that basic white guy shirtlessness deficit. Adam’s got that covered.

Kirby likey.

TL;DR Kirby and Adam begin a flirtation; Fallon fucks up with Culhane over some business fight she’s having with Blake; Sam finds out Fletcher isn’t so single; Cristal resolves to assassinate Alexis; Alexis stumbles upon the poisoning truth when trying to get Adam and Jeff to work together; Blake sets his sights on reacquiring Carrington Atlantic; if he can beat an underhanded Jeff and Alexis to it, that is.

That’s Alexis Carrington (Atlantic) Colby, thank you.

Hoo boy, there is a lot going on this episode. We’ll start with Queen Fallon, whose vow to leave Blake behind her last episode is quickly interrupted when she is drawn into a streaming service business battle with him. She spies an opportunity to leverage a soccer match between the Atlantix and a visiting Spanish team for victory, deceiving Culhane and Fletcher (and making Sam deceive Fletcher) along the way. Things blow up almost literally when there’s a fireworks mishap, but ultimately Fallon wins out financially, and makes amends with Culhane by offering to pay for the stadium naming rights. Not so reconciled are Sam and Fletcher. Despite Fletcher beginning the episode by dropping the “boyfriend” word on an awkward Sam, and his righteous fury over the soccer deception, things take a grim turn for the former Mr Steven Carrington when he finds out Fletcher is actually just a filthy cheater, and appears to have a long term relationship going on that he hid from Sam. Ouch. Meanwhile, Cristal tries some spiritual therapies to get over her rage at Alexis for killing her ex-husband and baby, but to no avail. Alexis is disgustingly remorseless upon being confronted, so Cristal finally puts her family to use and rings up Beto for a hitman. Nice. Meanwhile, Alexis petitions a directionless Adam to join her and Jeff’s scheme team, but neither Adam nor Jeff are keen on the idea. After she Parent Traps them, Jeff reveals the reason why: the poisoning, yo. So Alexis badgers Adam into video recording a confession to prove he can be trusted. Meanwhile, Kirby is also on Team Barge Into Adam’s Loft (while he’s shirtless, this time), and the two set up a flirtatious dinner date that Kirby seems to enjoy. And over on Blake Time, our patriarch is haunted by nightmares of his family betraying him. In the waking world, he not only has his business battle with Fallon, but also an emotional battle with Cristal, who accuses him of being overly protective of Alexis. Blake does later concede this is true (if he’d known off the bat that she shot Mark, he wouldn’t have killed Alexis like he did Mac), and opens up that he feels as if he’s lost control of his life. And as the inciting incident for that loss of control was losing Carrington Atlantic, he intends to get it back. But he may be too late, as the episode closes out with Jeff and Alexis (helped by some bug-planting they made Adam do) blackmailing some CA goon into recommending the company be sold.

To them, right? I pay attention sometimes.

So there we have it. Another episode without Liam, and it didn’t even matter because it was just damn good.

But let’s bear in mind that shirtless and painting or not, Adam is no Liam in the babe department.

Fletcher, though? He had potential.


Why I hate this episode:

It was the hair, right? That’s what was holding him back. Oh, and also being a cheating arsehole. Sam deserves better.

The whole streaming service thing was pretty blah. I know it was intentionally just garbage noise to facilitate the plot, but garbage is still garbage. No matter how intentional.

Cristal continues to have just the worst looks. She actually looked her best at the beginning of the episode when she was just out of bed and not yet crapped up with frills and billowy bullshit.

Oh, and with so little in the episode being bad, I guess I could whinge about what isn’t here. Namely, Liam and Dominique. Get ’em back, guys.


But it’s not all bad:

It’s a relief to see Dynasty finally using Jeff again. He actually had something to do this episode, with emotions and everything! I wasn’t sure from last episode whether or not Alexis knew about the poisoning and his neurological condition, but clearly she didn’t, and I admired his expression of anguish when explaining why he didn’t want to ally with Adam.

Also admirable is Alexis’ response to this, which is to massively bitch slap Adam and bully him into videotaping himself confessing to the poisoning as an assurance he won’t betray the scheme team. As Jeff finds out this episode, Adam can be a resourceful player.

Jeff’s confession isn’t all angst, however, as it opens with the best line of the episode for Alexis, who had tricked Jeff and Adam into working together to place the bug in the CA goon’s hotel room:
Jeff: “Did you really think you could Parent Trap me and Adam into liking each other?”
Alexis: “I don’t know what that means.”
Sure you don’t, Meredith. I love that they referenced it.

Onto Fallon, who spends the episode doing not much above and beyond her usual schtick, but gosh, that schtick is good. Top marks go to her fleeing from Culhane and Fletcher, walkie talkie in hand, when they want to put a stop to her fireworks plans at the soccer match. This show would be nothing without Elizabeth Gillies.

This also leads into a fabulous sight gag (and also some physical comedy) as Sam, in mascot suit, catches fire and bumbles into the Fallon Unlimited For Spain banners during the halftime show. After the flames are out, all that’s left is “F U Spain.” Magical.

This is then quickly bolstered by the actual outcome of this subplot, as although Fallon’s efforts to woo the Spanish market for her streaming service obviously failed, she did gain a huge boost with other European countries who hate Spain, and ends up coming out on top with the investors. The potential nastiness of this all is tempered by Fallon’s humility in paying for the stadium naming rights with her shonky money. I was as grateful as Culhane.

Speaking of Culhane, he gets to keep acting silly, and it’s such a better look on him than “mopey” or “blackmailed by Blonde Business Bitch.” More, please.

What we won’t be getting more of, I assume, is Fletcher. And Dynasty does an effective rug-pull after Sam spends the whole episode worrying about Fletcher wanting to call him his boyfriend, only to finally come around and then discover Fletcher is a big ol’ slut. When Sam first turned up at Fletcher’s suburban home, I was betting on a tired “he actually has a wife” reveal. But a thankful subversion on that front, too, as the “hey babe” voice drifting in from offscreen was a man’s.

Speaking of men, Adam gets his time in the beefcake spotlight when Kirby stumbles upon him all painting and shirtless. I’m still not sure if I’m on board for Adam turning from ridiculously evil supervillain into semi-heroic love interest, but Kirby certainly is. Despite his troubles with Blake (when Alexis tips him off via White Driver that Adam is still on the manor grounds, he demands his eviction), Kirby forges ahead with their dinner plans. And strategically “loses” an earring in his couch so she has an excuse to come back. Get dat dick, honey. Just try not to get spree murdered while you’re on it.

I was impressed with Cristal going after Blake for his overprotection of Alexis, and pointing out that Blake definitely wouldn’t have strapped her to a chair for a deathly beatdown had he known she was the shooter. Blake may soften and admit the truth later, but Cristal isn’t here for forgiveness; she’s here for blood. Let’s see if Beto comes through with the right hitman for the job. Or at least some fashion advice? Come on.

Oh, and you’d think I would give this other image slot to Adam’s torso, but you’d be wrong. Because goddamn, Kirby looks downright angelic in that same scene. With Cristal’s ongoing clothing crimes and some frankly underwhelming work by Fallon in the lewks department, this was a breath of fresh air.

Hey, a girl a doesn’t need to be shacked up with a Hemsworth to enjoy the benefits of a puffy sleeve.

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About ijusthateeverything

Sincerity is death.

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