Dynasty Season 3 Episode 9 – TV Review

Spoilers be damned, the world deserves to feel the same relief I did.

I mean, Adam doesn’t die either and it turns out the fall wasn’t that bad, anyway.

But it’s the principle of the matter!

The principle being Liam’s continued stranglehold on my libido.

TL;DR Adam survives the fall but doesn’t survive Blake’s wrath; Blake gets off from his trial thanks to Fallon poking holes in Alexis’ lies (and some mild jury tampering); but it doesn’t make Fallon very happy to learn Blake was indeed guilty; Alexis and Dominique square off; Sam’s new love interest reappears.

Is it tragic that the gay romance subplot of Dynasty is my least favourite thing about it?

So let’s start with a huge, lustful moan of relief as Liam and Adam’s tussle ends with Liam safe, and Adam falling. He sustains some minor injuries, but is otherwise physically fine. What isn’t fine is his relationship with Blake, who is furious that Adam burned down the vineyard, and is dismissive to his tale of Fallon and Cristal’s scheme with Nadia that instigated it. Adam desperately tries to win his father back by buying a neighbouring vineyard (unscrupulously) as a gift, but Blake isn’t having it and kicks him out. Meanwhile, back at the sensational Blake Carrington trial, Alexis yucks things up with a clearly fabricated story about how she was in the bath and saw Blake’s murder of Mac happen. Now that Fallon has dealt with Adam, she offers her scheming services to Blake to get to the truth. Which of course turns out to be that Alexis had a spray tanning appointment that day which would have made it impossible to be in the bath at all, let alone at the time she said she was (very “taking a shower after a perm.” Snaps for Dynasty). Alexis backpedals on the stand, and combined with some jury tampering from Blake, Cristal, and Alan Dale, the jury comes back deadlocked and Blake is set free due to a mistrial. Fallon’s not done yet, though, and with concerns over what she’s done, she pulls a magnificent little piece of document forgery to trick Cristal into revealing that Blake actually did kill Mac. But that truth is a bittersweet one. Meanwhile, Dominique is aghast to see her son married to Alexis motherfucking Carrington (don’t worry, Fallon gets in plenty of incestuous barbs, too), but Jeff turns a blind ear to her warnings. Things take a tumble in Dominique’s direction when Alexis seemingly accidentally pushes Dominique down the courthouse steps, leading to bad press and some sympathy from Jeff. I hope Dominique comes back from her suddenly-announced trip to New York soon. Oh, and in bland subplot land, Culhane encourages a mopey Sam to reconnect with his new love interest, Fletcher. So Sam does.

You’re just not camp enough for Dynasty Season 3, Sam. Are you even gay?

So blessed be and praise Paris, Dynasty is back in action for 2020. Elaine Hendrix will probably need some time to settle into the role and really own the fashion, but she’s already got a feisty, give-no-fucks attitude that the previous incarnations of Alexis seemed to have lost at the end of last season.

And having her and Dominique on screen together really warmed my heart. Cristal and Alexis’ duels had their charms, but I think having Alexis go up against a peer is going to be delicious.


Why I hate this episode:

Which makes it such a shame that Dominique, high on a win, abruptly declares she’s leaving for New York. She says she’ll be back soon, but damn, bitch. Alexis just got here. Fight!

The only true bum note on the episode is Sam’s nothing relationship with Fletcher. He and Culhane manage to keep things light as the obvious comic relief, but I would have happily given up their scenes in favour of more Alexis sniping. Against anyone, really.

Oh, and Cristal remains utterly sidelined and at this stage, do we really have any hope left that things will change? OG Cristal was arguably the protagonist of most of Season 1, but ever since it’s felt like Cristal has just been some kind of obligation for Dynasty to keep her around. It’s not great.


But it’s not all bad:

There is a glimmer of hope, though, with this fantastic look she wears at the tail end of the episode. It’s just a simple white and orange dress with no frilly bullshit, and some nice, slicked back hair. Such a vast improvement on some of garbage we’ve seen Daniella Alonso have to deal with this season. Keep it up.

Keeping on the fashion theme, when Dominique lures Alexis to a meeting to bitch at her, they’re both wearing glorious hats. Hat Queens, they are both.

The Alexis vs Dominique dynamic was a welcome surprise to me, as given how satellite Dominique has been, I actually didn’t even think of it. But bam, of course Dominique is going to get involved, as she both loves her son, and hates Alexis. It’s perfect!

The icing on the cake is of course Dominique’s tumble down the courthouse steps (textbook Dynasty slapstick), with Elaine Hendrix giving us an impressive amount of “yeah, and?” This is backed up by Alexis’ genuine anger at her smearing in the press because of it, and capped off divinely with Dominique sporting an obnoxious and unnecessary neck brace. This is the kind of petty catfighting I’m looking for.

Onto more serious matters, thank God that Liam is okay. I legit cheered. And now that Fallon knows Adam is the one who almost killed Liam in the Season 2 finale, she plans to tattle on him to Blake after the trial is done. Although, with Adam already exiled (to the loft, at least), who knows how necessary that will even be?

Fallon goes on to walk all over the episode (are you surprised?) when she offers her scheme services to Blake and digs into Alexis’ lies. She opens with a sham meeting with the newlyweds to get access to Alexis’ day planner, and among all the incest lines in the episode, Fallon earns a cheap and easy (and satisfying, of course) best line of the episode: “It’s not everyday that your mother marries your cousin. Except maybe in Nebraska.” Yes, Fallon. Work those stereotypes.

From here, she discovers Alexis had a spa appointment on the day of the murder, and she and Liam work to finagle an appointment by distracting a local socialite into giving up hers. Which naturally involves Fallon telling the girl that her dog has been chosen for a bogus magazine feature, with Liam posing as the photographer. I fucking love when these two get silly together on a caper.

Fallon therein discovers that the appointment was not with a hairdresser, but with a spray tanner, and that this particular woman’s appointments take four fucking hours, and you can’t bathe afterwards. In court, Fallon naturally can’t control herself and things get wacky when she stands up from the gallery (glowing golden. She got that tan, baby) to rattle everything off and show everyone how smart she is. Because she is. Duh.

Despite the conga line of lies that regularly comes out of Alexis’ mouth, though, Fallon does take Alexis’ warnings to Fallon that Blake is a murderer to heart, and pulls a truly gasp-worthy trick on Cristal. She fakes a document between Blake and Mac’s family that sets out how they’ll drop the matter if he pays them off and privately admits he did it. Cristal, upon being shown this, then gets real and explains how devastated she was after losing the baby and that Blake went too far. Thus, confirming to Fallon that yeah, Dad’s a killer. Yikes.

Not sure if Alexis has any compulsion to open up about how she’s the one that killed Mark and Cristal’s baby, though. I guess that’ll be saved to mine for drama later? God, I hope so.

Sam’s subplot is whatever, but it does feature Culhane being his better, lighter self. And I’ll take an unobstructed, on-screen gay kiss on the CW any day. I spent too long dealing with No Gays In Mystic Falls to be too picky, now.

Fallon and Liam aren’t the only ones capering this episode, as Cristal makes a minor contribution when she threatens one of the jurors. The juror immediately tattles to the judge, but when Cristal can’t be identified as the perpetrator due to changing her shoes in between, the juror is dismissed and replaced with a shill for Blake. See, Cristal’s got potential, Dynasty! She’s ruthless, and she can work fashion into a scheme. Use her!

Kirby is absent from the episode, but Alan Dale does bring up Blake’s mistreatment of her a couple of times. So I’m interested to see how that develops when she ends up returning.

Oh, and Liam as a dog photographer has somehow made him even hotter. I’m sincerely embarrassed by it at this point, I swear.

Liam can literally do anything he wants to me.

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About ijusthateeverything

Sincerity is death.

5 responses to “Dynasty Season 3 Episode 9 – TV Review”

  1. Edward West-Summers says :

    Hello again. As a little Update, I just started Season 7 of Vampire Diaries (I watch it while playing my handheld video games/mobile games but I still pay attention since it’s the Modern Vamp Soap Opera I never knew I wanted). Anyway, all I’m wondering is, what happened? Did they just up and replace the writers after Season 6? This over reliance of Flash Backs and Flash Forwards just reminds me of the meh aspects of Lost and worst aspects of Post Season 2 OUAT where the flashbacks just randomly introduced new characters that older characters knew but never mentioned them until that same episode.

    I’m not good with new character names so I’ll call her what you called her. Ginger Spice is a good example of that, that they push up a character’s importance by saying and revealing that a main lead knew her before but never said anything. Especially all this “first love” bs. Going back to what I can recall of Season 1, Stefan willingly loved Katherine until she compelled him into being with her later as she had with Damon. Bringing in Ginger Spice kind of lessens the impact of Steven’s first love being this devious villainous queen we all love her for who (at one point) controlled him and his bro into being this random girl we knew nothing about for 6 seasons. And I’m still trying to figure out how we gone from Kai to “Knockoff Originals”.

    Sorry for the long post btw. I have a bad habit of using to many words when I give my thought on something,

    • ijusthateeverything says :

      Omg, “Knockoff Originals” is scarily accurate.

      And yep, Season 7 is a confused, stupid mess. It was bad enough they lost Nina Dobrev, but introducing a lot of “this was super important to the characters’ past but we never mentioned it until now” is textbook late-season soap desperation. Very OUaT; you nailed that. I’ve managed to block a lot of Season 7 from memory, but the biggest problem I remember was everyone always being geographically too far away from each other. Lots of characters talking on the phone in the car, which also shows the lack of budget.

      Caroline does get to shine, though. Which was nice.

  2. Edward West-Summers says :

    I know the jist of most of the rest that happens with Vampire Diaries but I’m sad to see it fall this hard (and how they ended things for Caroline and even Bonnie). And I agree, the show lost 3 Leads after Season 6, leaving the rest to pick up the pieces and hold it together. I mean, I Don’t mind the Flash Forwards (so far) it’s just slightly off given the past 6 seasons.

    I Also feel like the budget slash on Vampire Diaries (and maybe Originals by that point idk haven’t seen Season 3 yet) was because of the ever growing Arrowverse, with 4 shows by that point. I do appreciate the recent snubbings of the Arrowverse lately, Like VD’s Season 8 having a shortened 16 episodes while Arrow’s Season 8 only has 10 episodes. And apparently Legacies took a jab but not really at Crisis on Infinite Earths, which (despite being a comic fan) made me smile.

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