Riverdale Season 4 Episode 7 – TV Review

I know I used this one recently, but hey, when the describing-a-piece-of-shit-CW-show shoe fits.

I’m basically taking a pass on this week’s episode.

Save for a last second reveal that I don’t care much about (and if we’re talking last second reveals, Riverdale ain’t got nothing on this week’s Dynasty), Betty’s only here to do legwork for Jughead’s stupid boarding school subplot.

Let’s get this shit on so we can go home.

TL;DR Betty visits Jughead at Stonewall; they investigate Tall Blonde Guy and Brunette Bitchy Girl to find out more about Sam Witwer’s suicide; turns out he was having an affair with Brunette Bitchy Girl; who cares; Betty tries to spice the episode up with a reveal of some big conspiracy board she’s set up that’s about Stonewall or something.

But, like… who cares?

So blah blah Betty visits Jughead at Stonewall for Thanksgiving, and they get to talking about Sam Witwer’s suicide (which I did not cover in my previous posts. Because this is now a Betty-only zone, thank you). Tall Blonde Guy and Brunette Bitchy Girl show up to prank them or something, but then they get into a drinking game so Betty will have an excuse to go looking for more alcohol while she’s actually snooping around BBG’s room. She finds a tie pin of Sam Witwer’s, and it comes out that he was banging BBG on the DL, but he got weird when she tried to stop. BBG later informs the headmaster, and the case of his surprise suicide is closed as being motivated by his guilt. The episode ends as Betty is shown to have a big, nebulous conspiracy board set up back at Riverdale for the goings on at Stonewall. Oh, and there’s also some kind of The Skulls-esque secret society or whatever.

But who cares?

So last week I said I would jump off Riverdale as soon as Betty’s story took a nosedive. And hoo boy, it certainly did this episode.

But we’ll let this one slide because technically Betty didn’t really do much Betty this week. She was just guest starring in Jughead’s tale. So I’ll give her a pass.

But bitch, if it turns out her time this season is about to transition into her looking into Stonewall, I’m fucking out.

 

Why I hate this episode:

Just not a lot of Betty, you know?

Oh, and what the fuck is up with Cheryl and Toni just being super chill about killing a guy last episode? I thought Toni’s willingess to be cool with Jason’s exhumed corpse rolling around was one thing, but now she ain’t got no qualms about murder (and their pie gambit was all a bluff, right? Jesus Christ, can you imagine if it wasn’t? What happened to this show?). Wasn’t Toni originally some kind of righteous SJW type?

 

But it’s not all bad:

Nah, it is pretty bad.

Oh, but it’s nice to see Azura Skye back, as lousy as her role in the episode turned out to be. Together with her recent cameo on Charmed, bitch is gettin’ that CW money, honey.

First Liza, and now Azura? Not a good look, CW casting agents.

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About ijusthateeverything

Sincerity is death.

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