Nancy Drew Season 1 Episode 2 – TV Review

I can see why you retired, now.

Also, you call that a mugshot?

Anyway, onto less exciting things than Tatianna merchandise. Did you guys see this week’s Nancy Drew?

TL;DR The case of the murdered socialite continues, with Nancy not doing a great job at breaking into the morgue to steal evidence; she and George repair some of the damage in their relationship, though; City Girl and Stoner Guy build a cute friendship; the dead woman’s husband’s shadiness increases; as does Nancy’s dad’s; as does Bland Boyfriend’s.

There are no good men in Horseshoe Bay.

So it looks like Nancy Drew won’t be going case-of-the-week, and instead we’re going to continue to obsess over the murder of that local rich guy’s wife. Despite still viewing her coworkers as suspects, Nancy decides to team up with them after she finds out that CW C-List Husband Guy, Ryan, will be transferring the wife’s body to a morgue somewhere else for the autopsy, setting a ticking clock on how long Nancy will have to get a blood sample from it (which a contact of hers will test). She sets up City Girl and Stoner Guy to create a diversion to delay the pickup driver, while sweet talking Bland Boyfriend out of a tool to break into the local medical examiner’s car (for a key card), and George is tasked with stealing Ryan’s phone. George flubs her part of the plan because of her womanly emotions, but there is some silver lining as Nancy realises what’s really going on between them. No matter, though, as City Girl and Stoner Guy hold up their end of the deal (with City Girl getting her sexual tension on with the female driver), and Nancy gets the blood sample from the wife’s corpse. Unfortunately, Nancy also gets distracted with snooping into Dead Lucy’s evidence box, and the alarm goes off, barring her escape. George arrives just in time for Nancy to pass the goods onto her, before Nancy is arrested. But her dad promptly bails her out, which is surprising considering how much of a fucking cunt she is to him about his new relationship with that cop woman. Nancy does do one more detective-y thing before leaving the station, though, which is to snoop through the police computer and find a mystery phone number the dead wife texted just before the murder. She tries calling it later, but doesn’t get to see that it, gasp, goes to Bland Boyfriend’s phone. Meanwhile, in between being a bad detective and a bad daughter, Nancy also continues to be plagued by apparitions of Dead Lucy, and her dad lies to her that the trunk in the attic was just a silly prop (the way he solemnly burns the dress at the beach later says otherwise). Meanwhile, City Girl and Stoner Guy become friends. And George and Nancy begin to bury the hatchet when Nancy apologises for standing idly by while her friends in school bullied George.

She was… complicit.

Alright, so two episodes in is still pretty early for a show to develop its identity and rhythm. But we know for now at least that my hopes from the pilot that Nancy Drew would lean into the clearly intentional I Know What You Did Last Summer allusion will not be coming true.

This episode is disappointingly self-serious, and instead the show is putting a lot of its effort into this supernatural, Dead Lucy shit.

So it’s like that second IKWYDLS sequel that was straight to video and was fucking awful. Good one, CW.

 

Why I hate this episode:

We’re also chucking stock sound effects into the Dead Lucy scares, too. Great.

Nancy herself continues to struggle to have any sense of an identity. She is supposed to be this great detective and world-weary cynic, yet she gets caught doing a routine break-and-enter. And she even narrates how all her diner coworkers are still suspects, but here she is concocting schemes with them wherein she’s reliant on them following through. It’s bizarre.

At least things are a bit better with Bland Boyfriend, as Nancy actually acknowledges (through obtuse narration, though) the duality she’s living with him. But again, you would imagine a hardboiled Nancy Drew-type would be above just thinking with her flaps, no?

I am also completely done with how shitty she treats her father. Him getting back on the dating horse is none of your fuckin’ business, bitch.

Nancy’s big lead for the investigation (that the body was being moved) is only ascertained because she happened to be in the police station when a call came through about it, and she overheard. Again, you’re Nancy Drew, right?

George was built up as this tough boss chick, but here she is messing up schemes because she has feelings for her adulterous, possible murderer boyfriend. Weak.

The show still feels very much like a flimsy, CW mid-season replacement.

Oh, and Katie Findlay shows up as the pickup driver from the other morgue, but her role is essentially an extra with a couple of lines of dialogue. Such a strange choice to fill a nothing role with a notable guest star. It’s like when Luke from TVD showed up in Dynasty. It’s distracting.

 

But it’s not all bad:

Her flirtation with City Girl is one of the lighter, better moments of the episode. And it leads to a tender moment between her and Stoner Guy when they decide to be friends (she’s not exclusively into women, but Stoner Guy is sympathetic when she says she’s spent so long alone she can’t imagine dating anyone). It was kind of lovely.

In a similar vein, Nancy begins to ingratiate herself to George by not blowing up her “you’re fucking Ryan” spot, and apologising to her for high school. Hey, if we can get any scene of Nancy not being a jerkass, it’s worth cherishing.

At least in between all Nancy’s ungratefulness and petty venom, there’s an interesting thread building between her dad and Ryan. Nancy’s dad takes on Ryan’s case in order to get the bail money for Nancy, which we know is a compromise for him as we see in an earlier scene that he and Ryan have an uneasy history. Nancy’s dad also worked for Ryan’s family, and at some point decided he never wanted to work for them ever again. I want to know more about that. Forget this Dead Lucy junk.

Although, given the whole dress burning thing, I would imagine it’s all connected.

Oh, and despite leaning away from IKWYDLS in general, we do get a weird seaside town tradition thing with some local ritual that involves residents leaving a bucket of seawater outside their house. After midnight, you have to kick it over. If it’s still seawater, you’re good; but if it’s blood, it means you’ll die within a year. Poor George gets the bucket of blood. Creepy.

What? These characters are so dumb, it’s worth asking the question.

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About ijusthateeverything

Sincerity is death.

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