Dynasty Season 2 Episode 22 – TV Review

I would never put episode spoilers at the start of a post.

But also, considering how well Dynasty did leave us with this finale, I’m not mad.

And I’ll spare everyone a protracted comparison to Riverdale’s finale. Because that’s not nice.

Wake up and start appreciating your better soap opera, CW.

TL;DR Fallon and Liam get engaged but also run afoul of Adam and now Liam might be dead (NOOOO!); Fallon snaps after being bullied for too long by Blake; Jeff fakes his own murder to frame Adam (unless Dominique’s sabotage pays off); Black Driver is arrested by the FBI, despite Fallon’s best efforts to undo Blake and Cristal’s treachery; Alan Dale quits butling to work at Sam’s hotel; Kirby steals Fallon’s publishing company; the episode and season ends with the discovery of two (two!) dead bodies in the Carrington estate’s lake.

And only one of them is one we previously knew about!

Oh mon dieu, baby, there is so much. We’ll start with Fallon, whose quest to work at the Atlantix in Blake’s stead, and still run her publishing company Femperial, starts to fall apart. Largely thanks to a growing public backlash against Blake’s very un-feminist spousal abuse. Attempts to squash things don’t work out, and to add to Fallon’s troubles, she’s furious to find out Kirby is gallivanting around with Black Driver, who she still sees as the traitor who ratted her father out to the FBI. And then she also finds out Liam has been concealing a ten year-old child he had when he was in high school. She’s not having a fun episode. Luckily, they patch things up, and Fallon even proposes to him, but they clumsily drop the ring in the Carrington estate lake. Oh, well. And when Fallon discovers Blake and Cristal are planning to get secretly married and their rift was a ruse all along, she warns Black Driver that they must be out to finger him to the FBI, and decides she’s done with Blake for good. Meanwhile, Jeff’s diagnosis from his poisoning is dire, and his brain will deteriorate, with no cure in sight (fuckin’ hell, Adam. Damn). So naturally the only solution is to set things up to look like Adam murdered him, while he flees to hide in the Bahamas (and also conceal his diagnosis from Monica and Dominique). I can dig it. But Dominique? Not so much, as she quietly removes the crucial Adam-incriminating piece of evidence from the staged crime scene to placate Blake and keep her money rolling in. Meanwhile, Alan Dale is fine after his chest-clutching affair last episode, but Kirby wants him to start looking out for himself. Which means it’s quits to being the Carrington butler, and hello to working at Sam’s hotel (and man, does Sam need the help). And then it’s time for everything to converge at Blake and Cristal’s lakeside wedding, as Fallon finally stands up for herself and confronts her father. In a fantastic and relentless subplot pileup, Kirby then reveals she’s backstabbed Fallon and has stolen Femperial from her; Sam and Alan Dale are disgusted in Blake’s boastful revelation about how he fucked over Black Driver and Fallon; and the absolute crown on this wonderful season, as some divers Adam had manically hired earlier to dredge the lake for Liam’s ring come up with a fucking body. You know, of that guy Blake and Cristal killed? But wait, there’s more, as a second body surfaces, capping off an earlier flashback tale Fallon had told Liam of some girl she accidentally killed when she was a kid. Oh. Mon. Dieu. Oh, and Liam also falls in the pool and apparently drowns after coming to following a head wound from Adam earlier.

Not so happy about that last one, you guys.

So while it’s a little sad to say that this season’s finale isn’t as operatic as Season 1’s (you just can’t beat an “all main characters locked in a burning barn” showstopper, baby), that final reel is the stuff of soap legend. The only major characters Dynasty couldn’t squeeze into the scene were Jeff and Black Driver, who had appropriately tied up their subplots elsewhere.

Dynasty is such a joy in my life. There is no show I look forward to more.

Bravo, and congratulations. What a fucking magnificent season.

 

Why I hate this episode:

Could we, like, not kill Liam, though?

The sudden escalation of Jeff’s illness could be a blessing, as he’s really struggled to stay relevant for a long time, now (and we know Dynasty isn’t afraid of jettisoning lead cast members). But given the introduction of Dominique, and Monica’s continued fabulosity, I suspect he’ll be back in no time with some retconned bullshit about how his health problem actually wasn’t that bad. He’s had two whole seasons to find his place, show. Cut him loose.

While I do live (mawma) for Kirby’s last second betrayal of Fallon, her reasoning of “you told Black Driver to dump me” was crap.

So Sam’s hotel is really going to be a thing, huh?

Oh, and I got super excited when I saw James Mackay in the opening credits, but then he just appears in a micro flashback Adam has of when they obliquely talked about that girl Fallon kind-of killed. Disappointing.

 

But it’s not all bad:

They got Steven back in there. Cool.

I think the funniest surprise of the episode was Dynasty taking the “I killed a someone” play from Gossip Girl. Fucking. Iconic. Bit of a “why didn’t you mention this before” ass-pull. But it’s a primetime soap, bitch. Go for the ride.

Before we get to praising Fallon, I’m actually going to give some love to Adam. I didn’t think it would be possible for him to last more than an episode or two before the jig was up. But I’ll be damned, here he is still trolling away, and I’m officially putting him on the same level as Fallon when it comes to their cartoonishness. When Fallon and Liam tell him about their engagement, his eyes practically pop out of his head. He’s become a real gem.

And in his defence about the whole “killing Liam” thing, he only smashed that flower pot over his head when Liam got too cocky with the threats. And he didn’t even intentionally kill him. He just locked him in a closet that happened to be a tad too close to the swimming pool.

But now, onto Fallon, who does all the heavy lifting this episode without even breaking a sweat. I don’t know why Dynasty spent so much time shying away from her as the undeniable protagonist. The Dynasty Show is better when it’s also The Fallon Show. She is a constantly rolling and evolving bundle of spite, horniness, quips, sincerity, kindness, cruelty, and so, so much more.

The highlight of the episode is, without a doubt, her proposal to Liam while on their romantic rowboat date. Yes. Bitch. Work. And they end up dropping the ring overboard because they pash too forcefully after he says yes. An aggressive Fallon/Liam pash will brighten my day, always.

I also particularly admired her magnanimity towards Black Driver once she realises Blake and Cristal are up to no good. Blake gloats that he’s secured additional evidence to frame him that Fallon couldn’t have circumvented (Adam’s Drag Race audition last episode was to plant incriminating emails on the Atlantix servers, by the way), and Black Driver is indeed arrested. But with Kirby and Fallon in his corner, I like his odds.

Apart from backstabbing Fallon at the crucial moment, Kirby has a pretty magnanimous episode, herself. She’s the catalyst that sparks Alan Dale’s defection from Blake. And she’s very proud of her relationship with Black Driver, earning herself the episode’s second best line when she and her beau reveal their relationship at Alan Dale’s hospital bedside:
Sam (oh, he’s here, too): “Don’t they make a sexy couple?”
Kirby: “You should see us naked!”
She immediately regrets it. As she should.

Best line of the episode goes to Fallon during her final reel teardown of Blake. But this one’s reserved just for Cristal: “You two deserve each other. What you don’t deserve is that hair.” This running joke is better than the entirety of Riverdale Season 3.

Jeff’s subplot is pretty whatever, but I will applaud the efficiency of his scheme against Adam. It’s a shame about Dominique, but a little faked murder never hurt a soap opera.

Much like Dynasty did with Adam’s reveal earlier this season, the body of the goon Blake murdered coming back into play was done with impressive subtlety. When Fallon is talking about Trixie with Liam, she says Alan Dale helped cover up what happened. This made me think about the goon’s murder, and I remembered that it kind of just never got brought up again. Then when the episode made an oddly big deal of the ring falling into the lake, I didn’t think too much of that. But it was when Adam hired the divers to find it that I twigged, and I was quaking in glee when the inevitable happened. Blake and Cristal’s “oh shit” faces when they find out what’s about to happen were also a pleasure (as was Blake innocently remarking to her that he didn’t know about the second body when it came up).

Monica wears this pink fairy floss fantasy during an early scene that barely involves her, and I can’t stop thinking about it.

I want to believe Liam won’t die, because it would be weird to suddenly bring up that he has a kid if he’s going to die in the same episode. We need to mine that for drama, first!

Oh, and I would assume Adam’s sexual movements around Liam were merely an extension of whatever he’s got going on in his head for Fallon, but it didn’t mean it wasn’t hot.

Either one could say it and it would still work.

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About ijusthateeverything

Sincerity is death.

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