Dynasty Season 2 Episode 16 – TV Review

Dynasty Miserably Ungrateful Men Kirby double denim

Kirby is serving.

Alexis isn’t dead, everyone. Thank God.

But she isn’t Nicolette Sheridan, anymore. And I suppose I can’t complain. If Dynasty’s really going to lean all the way into soap camp fabulosity, a good ol’ plastic surgery recasting switcheroo is on the to-do list.

I wonder who it will be?

TL;DR Adam manipulates Blake and scores himself a dream job at the soccer team; Fallon fails at getting a book published, so she just buys the whole damn publishing company; and she’s mad at Blake for fawning over Adam so hard; Cristal’s brother harangues her to pay back their father with a soccer-related favour; she fails, but Sam convinces the brother to help cover for her with their dad; Jeff offers to let Alexis recover at his place, but Adam won’t have it; Black Driver and Kirby continue to flirt.

Pair those spares, baby.

Let’s start off with Fallon, whose unflattering profile article is finally published. In an effort to rehab her image, she decides to shop around a book deal, but faces resistance from publishers who only want to focus on the vapid, tabloid-y aspects of her life. So she goddamn writes half a book herself in one day (well, not with her own hands. But you know), and seems to impress her publishers. But uh oh, she then overhears them talk about how they’re only humouring her as a stepping stone to get to Blake. So you know what Fallon does? Buys their damn company, fires them, takes it over (with Kirby at her side), and then gets a delicious, unexpected visit from Liam (he was one of their authors) to close out the episode. Yes. Ma’am. Meanwhile, Fallon is also pissed off that Blake is so ga-ga for Adam, and eventually denounces Blake for lavishing Adam with the kind of approval that she worked for all her life, but can’t seem to get. True. Meanwhile, Adam is keeping Alexis (who is bandaged up and can’t talk) from telling anyone the truth about how he shoved her into a fire. Jeff turns up at her hospital bedside to offer her a place to recuperate, but quickly makes an enemy of Adam, who also seems to have some kind of sexual inclination towards his mother. Adam also spends his episode taking down the team doctor of the soccer team, while Blake pulls strings to have Adam become the new team doctor. Cool? Meanwhile, Cristal’s brother, Beto, comes to pass on their father’s demand that Cristal make the soccer team hire a player who they can arrange to throw matches. Cristal tries to get it done, but Black Driver figures out her shit. Luckily, it turns out Beto is secretly gay, and thanks to some kind words from Sam, Beto chooses to help cover for Cristal with their dad, but also warns that it will only keep him at bay for so long. And Black Driver and Kirby get a little bit hotter with their flirting.

Liam’s back and will presumably keep Fallon distracted, so I say go for it, Kirby.

This episode isn’t quite as OMG-heavy as some other episodes of the season, but it is an episode filled with solid little capers. Like we learned last week, not every outing can be all stunts all the time.

Now that we’re at the start of the season’s final run of episodes, I trust that Dynasty is putting the pieces into place for Adam and Cristal’s dad as our two major villains. And apart from Adam’s bad hair, I am keen.


Why I hate this episode:

Adam just isn’t fabulous enough. Sorry.

It was disappointing when Luke from The Vampire Diaries showed up as Fallon’s initial ghost writer, but then she fires him after only one scene together, and we don’t see him again. Maybe he’ll show up in another episode now that Fallon owns the publishing company? What a waste otherwise, though.

Oh, and I am still not at all interested in any of this soccer team business bullshit.


But it’s not all bad:

I’ll allow Adam’s soccer team subplot, but only because it involves scheming. His villainous little caper kept up the pace, and I can’t imagine that merely punching the clock as the team doctor is really his endgame. What more will he do now that he’s got the position?

The other caper of the episode is, of course, Fallon’s book deal. Although it is largely arbitrary, I admire her tenacity (as always). The gut punch of the reveal that her publishers don’t even care about her turned into a surprise extension of her other subplot with Blake this episode. Impressively efficient, Dynasty. I know I can always count on you.

And while Blake is right that Fallon did have a lot handed to her as the daughter of a billionaire, I was getting my jush at her feminist teardown of him at the party. At the very least, she has got a point about Blake knowing Adam for only five seconds and giving him the acceptance that Fallon has wanted for so long.

I’m not sure if Fallon is legit about wanting to run the publishing company (remember when she wanted to start a record label?), but her white power suit while making her “fuck you, men” speech is everything. Complemented delightfully by Kirby striding in alongside her in her double denim.

Kirby and Fallon as gal pals this episode feels oh so right. But with Kirby and Black Driver’s flirtation building, I’m also keen to see it go oh so wrong.

Fallon gets the best line of the episode when she goes to Alan Dale after some frustrations with her book deal: “I have real problems to address, and I’m all out of people to complain to.” I keep telling you: Dynasty is me.

She also gets second best line after Liam walks into the publishing company office. She simply turns back to Kirby and delivers a flat “Wow.” Elizabeth Gillies has really made this role her own.

Cristal doesn’t contribute much to the episode, but her hair is as pristine as ever. And she has this nice pink outfit at Adam’s party with flowing sleeves.

It’s a bit of an eye roll that her brother, Beto, turns out to be secretly gay and that’s how Sam bonds with him. But I did appreciate Dynasty’s restraint of not having the two of them immediately fall into bed together (but we’re still going to get that later, right?).

Alexis gives us some fun, but tasteful, comedy beats, mainly at the expense of her little whiteboard.

Adam’s incestuous side seems to peek through when he gives the plastic surgeons a photo as reference for her facial reconstruction. We don’t see it, but earlier in the episode Adam remarks at some photos of Alexis and Fallon that he brought in for her, and how Alexis looked a lot like Fallon when she was younger. So I assume the reference photo could be of Fallon, and Adam wants to stick his dick in his mother, because she’ll look like his sister?

It was refreshing to see how genuinely nice Jeff and Alexis’ relationship is.

Oh, and if Beto is going to be in more episodes (and possibly boink Sam), then he better step his gay love/kiss scene pussy up. He’s certainly not wanting in the looks department.

Dynasty Miserably Ungrateful Men Beto

Yes. Bitch. Work(out).

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About ijusthateeverything

Sincerity is death.

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