Dynasty Season 2 Episode 14 – TV Review

Dynasty Parisian Legend Has It Steven breakdown

“You mean it helps when characters actually have empathy and care about each other? Whaaa!?” – Present Day Riverdale

I don’t think a shitty TV review blog (and mostly CW shows, at that) is the right place to get political, but I just want to say that as an Aussie, I was extra grateful for Dynasty bringing the quality and grace it does this episode after the last couple of days we’ve had.

It seems shallow that a CW soap opera would raise my spirits. And it is. But it did, and I’m thankful for that.

Also the gag of this episode’s ending. Oh. Mon. Dieu.

TL;DR Fallon and Sam find a binged out and apparently crazy Steven in Paris, who ends up hospitalised due to an imaginary companion; but psych, he was actually real, and it was actually Adam Carrington come for revenge; Blake fucking kills a guy who who he thinks shot Cristal, so Alexis is in the clear for now; Cristal did lose the baby, though; and Black Driver and Kirby are the only bum note of the episode, as a potential new romance is implied.

It only gets two quick scenes, though, so I’ll allow it.

So yes, it’s off to Paris (more aping of Gossip Girl, and I am here for it, darling. Be the best Gossip Girl successor you can be!), as Fallon and Sam go to meet up with a reappeared Steven. But things take a turn when it’s clear his sobriety is on shaky ground, and he keeps gushing about his platonic companion, George, who is nowhere to be seen. Things come to a head after Fallon’s French cousin’s sources can’t find any information about this George, and Sam proposes to Steven that George could be imaginary. One tearful, moving breakdown later when Steven has to face the truth, and he’s voluntarily checking into a French treatment facility, while Sam resolves to move on, but Fallon says he can still stay at the manor (we can’t afford any more sets). Meanwhile, Cristal is okay after her horseback accident, but Mark is dead, and so is Cristal and Blake’s unborn child. Blake goes on the warpath against that hired goon of his, while Alexis skulks around trying to find a way to slip blame for these deaths. So Alexis lies to Blake that she saw Hired Goon the day of the shooting, and Blake literally tortures and murders the guy in his basement, with grim approval from a similarly vengeful Cristal. Meanwhile, Black Driver and Kirby have some minor flirtation because they’re the two least despicable characters on the show, which incenses Fallon when she catches a whiff of it. And the episode ends in true, explosive Dynasty fashion, as “George” turns up to menace a sedated Steven at the treatment facility, revealing he is real, he lied about them hooking up when Steven was on his ayahuasca trip, and he has been using him all this time to reclaim the life that was stolen from him. Because he is, le gasp, the real Adam Carrington, and he’s on his way home, baby.

I’m not kidding about that gasp. When I made the realisation during his motive rant, I gasped IRL. It felt so good.

So yeah, insert obligatory dig at Riverdale for falling while Dynasty rises (still? Yes), and thank God for another stellar episode of TV’s best soap.

Now, if Riverdale won’t do Legally Blonde, what if…

 

Why I hate this episode:

The only thing that doesn’t fit in the episode is the Black Driver/Kirby thing. It wasn’t necessary, and it ends Fallon’s otherwise impressive, brother-caring-for episode on a selfish, backwards note. She goes to tell Black Driver her time in Paris has made her resolve to leave their relationship in the past, but he’s like “way ahead of you, girl,” and then has a pleasant phone call from Kirby that sets off Fallon’s jealousy. Just a bit blah, you know?

Juliette seems way too cool to just sprinkle in there, and then not really use her. Is she coming back?

What’s to stop Steven from just calling Fallon and warning her about Adam? His facility was like a rehab, not a prison, right?

Oh, and Fallon’s dress for Juliette’s party is a bit too big, and kind of swallows her up. Bummer.

 

But it’s not all bad:

I “yass’d” out loud when Fallon’s first outfit in Paris includes a massive beret, and then she wears this fucking stunningly chic white fluffy thing and pink dress (and a choker!) later on at dinner. It more than compensates.

But enough about fashion, because we’ve got an imaginary friend/fuckbuddy/half-brother to talk about. First off, I’m very glad to have Steven back in full for an episode. I don’t think we’ll be seeing much more of him now that he’s sequestered in rehab, but it was refreshing for him to not just be a disembodied voice on a phone. His absence from the season has been conspicuous, so his inclusion (however temporary) is welcome.

He has got a terrible haircut, though (and after he found his hotness not so long ago), but my mental link to Dynasty is solidified even more when, just moments after I wrote as much in my notes, Fallon literally called it out in the episode. Dynasty is me. And I’m so proud to see it.

We’ll also give Fallon best line of the episode with something nice and breezy and perfectly on-brand:
Sam, struggling to lug all their luggage up some stairs: “You could offer to help.”
Fallon, continuing in front of him: “That’s true.”
It’s the little things like these that give Dynasty its personality.

Things take a turn for the serious when Steven and Sam have their “I cheated on you, too” fight at the party, and Steven returns to the apartment struggling to believe that George might not be real. Sam and Fallon come in soon after and find Steven shaken, with a noose having apparently appeared. Steven then accepts that he’s unwell, and his breakdown (and the comforting from Fallon and Sam) actually brought a tiny little tear to my eye. James Mackay is certainly making what little time he’s getting from the CW count.

But then everything explodes in a glorious reveal to close out the episode, with George not only being real, but also being the long-sought-after Adam Carrington. Alexis does bring up Adam earlier in the episode when comforting Cristal, but Dynasty has invoked Adam so many times that it didn’t set off any obvious exposition bells. Super fucking smooth, show. Oh, and good thing he clarifies he and Steven actually didn’t hook up. Because they’re half brothers. Not that Dynasty hasn’t flirted with incest before, though.

With Sam deciding to move on from Steven, this should free him up to have some new hot gay hookups. Thank God.

Moving on to the Blake portion of the episode, and holy shit he totally murdered a guy. An innocent guy. Blake’s done some reprehensible things on this show, but I’ll be curious to see how he comes back from this one. Fuckin’ hell.

Ditto Alexis, whose lies precipitated this gruesome turn of events (in addition to the fact that she literally did kill Mark and the baby). Will finding out about Hired Goon’s needless death be too much for her?

White Driver is still in the picture, as Alexis tries to harangue him into providing her with an alibi for the shooting. I still love how superfluous his character is.

Oh, and with Sam now single and Fallon on the hunt for dick to make Black Driver jealous, can we expect an episode where they dress up for a Sluts’ Night Out? In complementary animal print?

Dynasty Parisian Legend Has It Fallon

It’s time for Single Sam to step his fashion pussy up.

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About ijusthateeverything

Sincerity is death.

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