Dynasty Season 2 Episode 11 – TV Review

Dynasty The Sight of You girls night

Forget the cautious optimism of Riverdale. Dynasty is a motherfucking shoot, baby!

From forgettable to iconic in the space of only a week, Dynasty again proves it is the supreme soap opera dujour.

Could this be the best episode of Dynasty yet? Better than Thanksgiving?

Oh, honey. It’s close.

TL;DR Fallon takes the girls out for a classic caper episode as she tries to win Liam back; but her cattiness towards his new girlfriend sees him saying goodbye for good (dear God, no!); Cristal 2.0 struggles with the possibility of her baby not being Blake’s; Blake ropes in Black Driver to help win over a star player for his soccer team; Monica makes sure her piece of shit mother doesn’t meet up with Jeff; Alexis realises she is aimless and unwanted at the manor.

Which predictably renews her burning scheming fires against Cristal 2.0. As is tradition.

Alright, girls, it’s time to break out your cocktails and earmuffs, because Fallon is going after her man. And skiing. Yes, following her awkward moment at Liam’s apartment last episode, Fallon mounts the charge to intrude on his vacation and win him back. Along for the ride is Monica; and then Cristal 2.0 invites herself along to get away from Blake awkwardness; and Kirby makes four when she stows away on the private plane in a total Yass moment. Liam’s new little blonde squeeze, Ashley, makes for a tougher opponent than expected, so it’s all bitchy hands on deck to find out how to take her down. Sam, who had been spending some awkward alone time with a seasonally affected Alexis, shows up once he finds out about things, and they mutilate Ashley during a fake spa date, while Fallon gets some alone time with Liam. But alas, he’s not interested, and Fallon accepts this fate. And then Ashley and her minions take revenge on the gang at a local bar, with stolen purses, a karaoke competition, and a brawl ensuing. As is tradition. Liam finds the whole ordeal less than attractive, however, and angrily denounces Fallon. Yikes. Meanwhile, Cristal 2.0 confides in Fallon her baby daddy problems, but her resolution to tell Blake evaporates when she returns home and sees how excited he is. Meanwhile, Jeff is determined to meet up with his mum, so Monica leaves her a vicious voicemail, causing Crummy Mummy to back out. Phew. Meanwhile, Blake twists Black Driver’s arm into coming to Belgium so he can talk sports to some Atlanta-born soccer star. And when Blake makes a poor impression at the meeting, Black Driver does come in with the save and convinces the dude, but Black Driver also ups his compensation from a fee to demanding part ownership in the team. And Alexis closes out her episode by realising she’s unwanted and unhappy at the manor. But that just means she needs to go in harder on destroying Cristal 2.0.

Like, duh.

I think the only real sore spot on this episode is Liam’s rejection of Fallon. But even then, it’s a logical, earned consequence of her actions, so I can’t even hate the episode for it.

Does this mean the end of the king of the Blandly Attractive White Guys, though?

Hey, they’ve brought Claudia back more than once. Surely they’ll keep Adam Huber on the books, no?

 

Why I hate this episode:

They weren’t so kind to James Mackay and Nathalie Kelley…

And I lied. The other sore spot of the episode is Blake and Black Driver’s stupid sports guy stuff. Oh, Dynasty. Your audience isn’t here for sports talk, sweetie. Although, having said that, Gilmore Girls and Gossip Girl both had surprisingly robust straight guy fanbases. So maybe Dynasty knows what it’s doing?

The back and forth on Jeff and Monica’s mum is pretty wasteful. It feels like they’re just delaying the inevitable.

Oh, and Alexis is mainly benched this episode. And I would be remiss if I didn’t obligatorily complain about that. As is tradition.

 

But it’s not all bad:

Her commitment to fighting off her Seasonal Affective Disorder is impressive. And it’s a credit to how much fun this episode is having elsewhere that the sensory deprivation tanks Alexis orders in don’t even get used. I was all set for some kind of fantasy/hallucination sequence. Maybe next time?

But let’s get to that girls trip. What an absolute fucking winner of a plot, and a great way to bounce back from the blandness of last episode. Fallon strikes the perfect balance of in-control rich bitch, and wildly desperate stalker ho. I was living for every wacky second of it.

I think what really made it succeed, though, was Ashley. She’s just as ruthless, and with the added villainous bonus of being a snobby prep cunt. So when Sam and Kirby savage her on the faked spa date, it felt right, you know?

The episode hits a campy crescendo at the local bar after Liam’s rejection, with some divine quick-fire escalation. First, an obvious goon of Ashley’s steals the gang’s coats and purses by posing as bar staff. This leads to an awkward “we can’t pay the tab” moment, which then turns on a dime to Kirby already up on stage and announcing to Fallon that she’s going to win the just-now-noticed karaoke contest cash prize. Cue the whole gang getting up on stage to sing These Boots Are Made For Walking, which then turns on another dime as Ashley and her girl posse quickly roll up to start a brawl. It. Is. Glorious.

This leads into Fallon claiming the best line of the episode in a culmination of a weird and wonderful running gag about Cristal 2.0’s hair, while she fends off a rabid Ashley supporter from attacking her: “She’s pregnant! And nobody touches that hair before I do.” I have no fucking idea what this hair obsession is, but I absolutely love it.

As a denouement to all the fun, though, Liam comes along at the end and delivers both the recovered coats, and a verbal dressing down to Fallon. He rightly points out that he fell in love with the ambitious, dedicated Fallon. Not this petty, high school-acting fool. True.

Aside from Fallon, the other girls on the girls trip also make some worthy impressions. We’ll start with Kirby, whose friendship with Fallon appears to be consolidating these days. I still think she could have had some wicked villain potential, but she’s a pretty great ally, too (she impersonates Ashley on the phone to steal her itinerary. Love it).

Cristal 2.0 also seems to be forming her bond with Fallon, as they have a genuine and sweet discussion about her baby daddy problems. I’m still keeping my fingers crossed that the elusive Mr Jennings will be totally hot.

Monica’s ol’ haughty schtick takes on a welcome new dimension when she tears into her mother via voicemail to ensure Jeff doesn’t meet up with her. She does this to protect Jeff, so it was nice to see her being a little more selfless.

And Sam does a good job rounding out our girl group, fleeing from Alexis’ weird SAD therapies when he learns what they’re up to. Way to tag in so you guys could ruin Ashley’s eyebrows. Teamwork makes the dream work.

I don’t have much to say about Blake and Black Driver’s subplot, but I did like how Black Driver basically accused Blake of only wanting him so he could speak “black” to the soccer player. And Blake doesn’t really deny it. I lol’d.

Oh, and I couldn’t think of a way to organically work this final snapshot in, but I liked it, so I’m just gonna leave this here.

Dynasty The Sight of You Sam sad face

But it was at Alexis’ expense, so it’s okay.

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About ijusthateeverything

Sincerity is death.

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  1. Dynasty Season 2 Episode 12 – TV Review | I Just Hate Everything - February 3, 2019

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