Dynasty Season 2 Episode 10 – TV Review

Dynasty A Champagne Mood Alexis eye roll

Alexis ain’t got time for my shit.

Unlike Riverdale, I truly did put off posting about Dynasty because I had to put some effort into my existence outside of my rubbish blog about soap operas.

I know. I’m disappointed, too.

TL;DR Fallon learns the dumb truth about Black Driver’s dealings with BBB and dumps the hell out of him; Sam spirals after receiving (possibly drug-induced) divorce papers from Steven; Blake harangues Jeff into helping him buy that soccer team; Jeff vows revenge on Black Driver for almost getting him killed, but later drops it; Cristal 2.0 is pregnant, but it might not be Blake’s.

Alexis doesn’t get much to do. But she looks great while doing it.

So unclutch those pearls you dozen or so Jeff fans: he’s fine. Fine enough, even, to want to seek revenge on Black Driver for putting him in mortal danger. He makes a deal with Blake to destroy him (in exchange for helping Blake buy his soccer team), but after some hallucinations of his mother, he settles for merely blowing up Black Driver’s spot with Fallon. Hey, it works. Meanwhile, Fallon initially takes the revelation of Black Driver having been blackmailed pretty well. She sets out to bribe the Van Kirk goon the feds are interrogating, and gets help from a hunkily returning Liam along the way. She brokers the deal, but when she finds out Black Driver kept working with BBB even after the blackmail, that’s her breaking point. Literally, because she breaks the fuck up with Black Driver. Sadly, a last minute booty call to Liam has her collide with some perky blonde replacement, but I have a feeling Fallon’s not done with Liam yet. Meanwhile, Sam is preparing to host a gala for Steven’s charity while Steven is still missing, and matters are not helped when Steven issues Sam with some surprise divorce papers. They receive word that Steven could be on an ayahuasca vision quest, so maybe that explains things. But Sam does the gays proud by instead drinking too much at the gala and macking on some hot friend of his, earning himself a mighty bitch slap from Fallon when she witnesses it. Steven shows up at the end for an awkward phone conversation to confirm that yes, it was just the drugs, and he still wants to be with Sam. Then how about you convince the CW to afford you, and get back here, hmm? Meanwhile, Alexis struggles to get anyone to take her art seriously at the charity auction. Oh, and Cristal 2.0 finds out she’s pregnant, but conceals it because it could be her ex-husband’s. But a dropped purse later and everyone finds out, leading to joy from Blake, and seething from Alexis.

Fashionable seething.

So apart from one monumental bitch slap, and the kind-of return of James Mackay, this episode is otherwise pretty forgettable.

The only major step forward is Fallon’s breakup with Black Driver, but this is really just the culmination of his blackmail/BBB suplot. And that’s been the one true bum note of the season.

Oh, well. At least it’s over. So I should be thankful for that.

 

Why I hate this episode:

Did you ever really think Fallon and Black Driver would stay together, though? Be honest.

Sam and Steven are having the opposite problem. I’d be happy for their OTP to stay strong, but Dynasty just seems hellbent on keeping Steven away. Even his cameo in this episode was obviously hamfisted in, what with that pathetic CGI background. If Dynasty really is done with Steven, then get rid of him so Sam can get out there for some new love interests. Gosh.

I don’t care in any way, shape, or form about Blake’s soccer team aspirations. Until it brings the mysterious Mr Jennings into things, I’m choosing to block it out.

Jeff is the most out of place character on the show (he beat out Cristal 2.0 this episode. Congrats). Even Monica is Fallon’s friend or whatever, so I get why she’s around. But why is Jeff here? For Blake to ask him for money? It’s weird.

With Black Driver out, I’m gonna need Fallon to lean into Liam a lot harder.

Oh, and Alexis is largely benched this episode, only really coming out to play for a comedy subplot about her art. Rude.

 

But it’s not all bad:

Nicolette Sheridan must have outgrown her Desperate Housewives-era pettiness, because even relegated to an almost-nothing role this episode, she still shines like the bitch goddess she is. And Alan Dale even throws her an anonymous bone by buying the painting in the silent auction to make her feel better. Before secretly burning it. Both to destroy the evidence, and also because he hates the painting. Who says Dynasty doesn’t have layers?

Her seething at the pregnancy announcement is also textbook soap. Stay true to yourself, Dynasty.

Cristal 2.0 still feels like she doesn’t truly belong, but what better way to get into the swing of soap opera things than to have a surprise pregnancy with two possible baby daddies? Now she’s catching on. I hope Mr Jennings is super hot.

I’ve got to give praise to Fallon, who does a lot of legwork this episode. She really goes to the mat for Black Driver when it comes to dealing with the Van Kirk goon. That’s some illegal shit she had to do. And it worked, forged documents and all. Thanks, Liam.

Yes, praise be, Liam and all his Blandly Attractive White Guy-ness is back. Let’s hope little miss perky blonde in his room at the end of the episode can’t stand between him and Fallon getting back together. I don’t think Liam will be Fallon’s OTP, either, but I’ll take as much of him as I can get.

Fallon comes through with the most striking moment of the episode, literally, when she slaps Sam at the party for cheating on her brother. Agreed. And to his credit, I think Sam agrees, too.

My heart leapt when James Mackay came on screen for his cameo (sneaky Dynasty had not included him in the opening credits. Nice touch). He confirms that the drugs made him send the divorce papers, and he does want to be with Sam. Just not until the CW will pay him, I guess.

Apart from the cheating, Sam’s anti-Steven tirade crescendos as he drunkenly makes his gala speech, and then pledges one million dollars of Steven’s own money to the fundraiser to complete the goal. Using his bitterness for good, while also kind of being evil. Again: layers.

Monica gets to be her best, haughty self this episode, swanning around and being incensed about what happened to Jeff. And then turning that same energy on Jeff himself, because she has no interest in getting back in touch with their deadbeat mother.

Oh, and she also earns herself the best line of the episode when Fallon tells her she’s right: “Well, you’re gonna have to be more specific. I’m right about a lot of things.” Especially that hair, sis.

Dynasty A Champagne Mood Monica wig

Anything to keep Serena from going back to acting.

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About ijusthateeverything

Sincerity is death.

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  1. Dynasty Season 2 Episode 11 – TV Review | I Just Hate Everything - January 28, 2019

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