Dynasty Season 2 Episode 8 – TV Review

Dynasty A Real Instinct for the Jugular Alexis wedding dress

And catfight in them, please.

After last week’s sagging disappointment, I was about ready to start my Make Dynasty Gay (and fabulous) Again campaign.

Well, I’m pleased to report that a wedding dress fashion montage with hair pulling isn’t even the gayest thing about this episode.

Dynasty’s back, baby.

TL;DR Fallon plans her wedding and runs into venue problems; Alexis sets aside her self-interest for a moment to help her daughter; Black Driver may have blown his chance to be free of BBB; Sam’s fidelity is tested by a hot nanny; Cristal 2.0 appears to be hiding some tragic secret.

About soccer?

So forget that tepid Holi-slay spectacular, because it’s time to get your jush and remember that Dynasty has not one, but two weddings on the horizon. Fallon’s looks like it’ll be first, and this episode sees her preparing for her wedding. Sadly, her dream venue has been booked by one of Alexis’ old society friends. Alexis offers to help change the woman’s mind, but Fallon soon discovers that Alexis may be betraying her in order to curry favour and get back in with her old crew. Some minor catfighting ensues, but Alexis is ultimately the bigger person. And runs down the woman in her car so she has to move her wedding date and Fallon gets the spot. It was the only sensible course of action. But psych, The CW ain’t got money for a location, so Fallon instead chooses to follow some schmaltzy advice from Cristal 2.0 and will be having the wedding at the manor. Meanwhile, Black Driver’s final mission for Blonde Business Bitch hits a bump when her other partner (remember that guy from the poker game?) pulls a gun on her. Black Driver steps in to save her (somewhat motivated by a just-revealed backstory of hers where her daughter was killed during a beef with Liam’s family), and she offers him a whole lotta cash to stay on with her. Meanwhile, Sam hires a nanny named Manny, but it doesn’t take long for frustration over missing Steven (I’m frustrated, too, gurl) to set in. And Manny is super slutty, as well. Heeding some advice from Kirby to not be a cheating cunt, Sam pulls back from Manny before things go too far and fires him. Meanwhile, Blake tries to impress Cristal 2.0 with an expensive engagement gift. So he misinterprets her passion for watching soccer and buys her a soccer team. But this lame subplot may have legs yet, as we catch a glimpse of Cristal 2.0 mooning over a soccer jersey in her things, implying some kind of lost/dead husband or something. And the episode wraps up with Alexis and Sam figuring out that the baby is actually Claudia’s baby, and the baby goes missing, presumably abducted by its warpathing mother.

Well, abducted? Or rescued? Let’s be honest.

So thank God, Dynasty is back to being itself. Last week was, I hope, just a minor bump in the road. And with a mid-season finale Christmas episode extravanganza on the horizon for next week, I am ready to wrap up 20gayteen in style.

I wonder if Steven will actually be home for Christmas?

 

Why I hate this episode:

I’m still mad about James Mackay’s firing from the regular cast, and this episode doesn’t do anything to placate me, as Sam is not only unable to actually get any face time with him, but he confirms via text message that he’s going to be leaving immediately after Christmas. At this point, I’m concerned they won’t even get him back for Christmas at all. Why marry your two gay characters and then immediately ship one of them off?

The problem with this decision is made evident in the Sam/Manny subplot. Because as titillating and naughty as it is, Sam can’t really go through with it. His relationship with Steven is too wholesome for the audience to accept some light cheating, so Sam and Manny don’t even get to lock lips. They get a breath away and then a prop intervenes and Sam fires him. Figure it out, Dynasty. I can’t imagine Mackay was really asking for that much money, right?

As much as I’m in love with BBB’s voice, I’m so done with Black Driver’s subplot with her. But, unfortunately, he doesn’t appear to feel the same way. Dude, you’re literally about to marry Fallon Carrington. BBB’s cash shouldn’t be that enticing to you.

Oh, and when Manny first got flirty with Sam, Kirby also seemed to be under the impression he was flirting with her, too, and Sam was jealous. So I was hoping we might be in for a classic slut off. But alas, Kirby doesn’t go for it. What kind of bogan skank are you?

 

But it’s not all bad:

If Dynasty is committed to keeping Kirby out of the villain category, then I am kind of enjoying this sensible, minor supporting character angle. She keeps the Manny situation from becoming too serious. And she’s the one to remind Sam that hey, you’re married. Thanks, Kirby.

But enough about Kirby, because this is Alexis’ episode. Even if it’s about Fallon’s wedding planning, it’s Alexis’ episode. The set up of Alexis having to choose between her daughter and her social-climbing ambitions was perfect Dynasty. And the resolution of Alexis deciding to just run Mimi-rose the fuck over was simply sublime. Nobody fixes a problem like Alexis.

Fallon then regurgitating Cristal 2.0’s advice about it not mattering where you get married makes sure that the tension between Alexis and Cristal 2.0 doesn’t let up. If Cristal 2.0 wants to justify her existence, then having her square off against Alexis is Dynasty’s best move.

Their sniping this episode is of the minor variety, similar to last week. But it does include some hair-pulling while everyone is wearing wedding dresses. And hey, Fallon joins in, too so she and her soon-to-be stepmother can tag team on Alexis. It’s great.

Alexis also easily nets herself the best line of the episode with this response to an outfit during Fallon’s wedding dress fashion montage: “2001: A Slut Odyssey.” I literally cackled out loud and had to pause the show.

Speaking of pausing, I did try to snap a couple of freeze frames of Manny, who appears to be as averse to shirts as Archie Andrews. I am definitely here for more gay sexual tension on Dynasty. Just preferably not involving nice characters who are married to other nice characters.

Black Driver’s crime subplot is tres garbage, but I liked that little tidbit about how BBB’s daughter was killed in the crossfire during some business dealings with Liam’s family. It gives me hope that Liam may pop up again.

Blake doesn’t get a lot to do this episode, but I got a chuckle out of his decision to buy an entire soccer team simply because Cristal 2.0 said she liked watching soccer. And what’s up with that Jennings jersey, hmm?

The Claudia bomb finally drops when Sam and Alexis settle down to go through his wedding album. Sam spots Claudia in one of the photos and is alarmed to see she was at the wedding. Upon mentioning her name, Alexis starts putting together the note Hank left her. Sam then calls the mental hospital to confirm she broke out, and together they realise a murderous mad woman is on the loose and looking for her baby. The episode then deliciously ends as the baby’s bassinet is empty, next to an open window with a billowing curtain. Drama!

Blake harangues Fallon into making Cristal 2.0 a bridesmaid.

Alexis wears a superfluous neck brace after her car “accident.”

Oh, and Manny isn’t, like, Riverdale hot. But with Dynasty’s budget, he’ll do.

Dynasty A Real Instinct for the Jugular Manny pool

Hey, it’s working out pretty well for Sam so far.

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About ijusthateeverything

Sincerity is death.

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  1. Dynasty Season 2 Episode 9 – TV Review | I Just Hate Everything - December 23, 2018

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