The Originals Season 5 Episode 13 – TV Review
Much like last episode, I would be hesitant to call this episode, and series finale, a trainwreck. Because trainwrecks are actually exciting.
If I had to distill The Originals series finale down to one word (and this is the Internet, baby. Distilling complex ideas into clickbaity, list format is the name of the game), it would be “meh.”
And “meh” is not how I want to feel about the finale of what once was the best vampire soap opera on the CW.
Even the TVD finale wasn’t meh (it wasn’t good, either. But you know).
It makes me wonder how much of a garbage dump the Legacies finale will be. And by “finale,” I mean at the end of the first season. Do you really think that it’ll be renewed?
TL;DR The Originals goes out with not even enough decibels for a whimper, as Klaus makes good on his promise to kill himself with the Hollow inside; Elijah chooses suicide, too, because the writers didn’t know what else to do with him; Rebekah goes off to bone Marcel; Freya and Keelin harangue Vincent into giving them sperm; Hope is just kinda there.
Ah, so she’s already building herself in Elena’s protagonist image, I see.
So yikes, let’s get this over with. Which is pretty much the theme of the episode. The A Plot is all about Klaus and his Hollow affliction. The other characters put in a token effort to continue looking for a solution, but this is quickly dropped, and Klaus is instead pressured to use his remaining hours on this earth to say goodbye to Hope. He has a very short struggle with some Hollow apparitions of Mikael and Camille, but then Caroline appears and calms him down enough to do as he should and he makes his peace with Hope. He also has a nice farewell dinner with all the family (and Keelin). To close out the episode, Klaus, Elijah, and Rebekah go to that bench Elijah and Klaus sat on in the series premiere, and Klaus bids goodbye to them (he also promises Rebekah that it will be arranged that she can have the Cure after Damon is done with it, which is pretty neat). But twist: Elijah hasn’t got anything to do without Klaus around to clean up after, so he’s going to kill himself, too. The series ends as they white oak stake each other and peacefully turn to ash (horrific pain and bonfires only happen when it’s convenient, it seems). Elsewhere, Rebekah womans up and proposes to Marcel; Kol has a two second subplot where he doesn’t want to say goodbye to Klaus, but then he does; and Vincent initially refuses Freya’s suggestion to donate sperm. But then he does.
I mean, I was never Vincent’s biggest fan, but I could have sworn he had stories of his own at some point and deserved better than this hand wave of a finale subplot, no?
So that’s it for The Originals. And in a world where the assuredly disastrous Legacies didn’t get greenlit, this would have been it for the TVD-verse in its entirety.
Are you satisfied?
Why I hate this episode:
That was a trick question. There is no possibility that anyone could be satisfied by this dreary yawn of a finale. What happened to tension? What happened to action? I imagine the budget got slashed, but fuck, dude.
The greatest insult of all is easily the Camille cameo. She gets two tiny scenes where her only function is to be the angel on Hollow madness Klaus’ shoulder to tell him not to kill Hope. That is literally it. What a fucking waste. Even goddamn Lexi got to reunite with Stefan in a cool afterlife fantasy cameo. And we already got a glimpse of The Originals offering us the same thing with Josh and Aiden. So to have Camille merely be a Hollow hallucination, and then to not even do anything valuable on top of that? Fuck you, show.
You know who Klaus does get a Big Damn Kiss with, though? Caroline. Not that I’m opposed to some Klaus/Caroline face-mashing time, but this is the series finale. That should have been Camille, baby.
The other monumental failure is Elijah’s decision to kill himself alongside Klaus. His reasoning is that Klaus’ selflessness with his own suicide means that Klaus is finally redeemed, and Elijah’s purpose for living (to redeem Klaus) is over. I understand what the show was going for with their mutual suicide and all its apparent loveliness, but could the writers really find no other reason for Elijah to go on living? Wouldn’t looking after Hope have been a noble enough pursuit? Elijah’s death is just pure and simple laziness. I’d say I’m shocked, but after enduring the rest of this preceding season, that would be a lie.
Marcel also gets tossed in the garbage subplot-wise. We waste so much time on Klaus and Caroline, that all Marcel does is hang around and get proposed to by Rebekah. Remember when Marcel was the main antagonist? Remember when Marcel was the focal point of the Season 3 final run? It feels like so long ago. Marcel also hilariously wraps up the New Orleans supernatural community problem with a slapdash line telling the vampires to leave town. It was unnecessary.
Vincent gets it worse, as he doesn’t get anything to do himself. He just has his first refusal to give Freya his cum, and then he reconsiders. The Originals bent over backwards to keep Vincent actively involved after his original role as Finn’s vessel, and now all he’s good for is being a sperm donor. Weak.
Kol doesn’t get much to do, which isn’t so bad considering he got a satisfactory send-off last season. But then they brought him and Davina back, and she’s nowhere to be found, and Kol doesn’t even get to join his siblings for their benchside goodbyes. What?
There’s a cute shot in Rousseau’s bar of a wall of photos of characters who had died along the way. But fuck everything and burn this show to the ground, Sophie isn’t on there. Or Oliver. Fucking Gia is, though. I’m pretty fucking sure Oliver was more important to this show than fucking Gia. And fuck my earlier choice to be satisfied with Sophie’s literal in-name-only tombstone cameo a couple of episodes ago. Now I’m mad, again.
At the start of the episode, Klaus is stopped from impaling himself by a suddenly-human-again Hope. But nobody questions why she’s not a werewolf, anymore.
Hope is largely sidelined this episode, but she does take the opportunity to whine to Klaus that Elijah is selfish for not offering to take the Hollow from Klaus and kill himself (this is before Elijah announces he’ll be killing himself, anyway). I mean, I don’t want to have to keep calling a teenage girl a cunt, but you’re a cunt, cunt.
Oh, and Declan does not appear. So Klaus never found out that he was Camille’s cousin.
But it’s not all bad:
In a finale that already so poorly spent its time, would you have wanted Declan to take up some, too?
So there isn’t a lot of good in this finale, but that doesn’t stop Joseph Morgan and Daniel Gillies from tearing it up one last time as the Hot Guy Crying Bros. That material definitely doesn’t deserve them, but they and their tear ducts came to play, anyway, baby. And thank God for that.
The final scene of them killing each other is objectively a travesty. But subjectively, with the commitment of their performances, I can almost buy it. And there’s a silver lining: at least they won’t have to stick around for Legacies. They’ve already suffered enough indignity by having to be in this lazy fart of a season.
Rebekah doesn’t really do much, but it was nice that she, as one of the Original three from the first season, was given preferential treatment. She gets to yell at Kol, and make her proposal to Marcel (and fuck him, too), which is more than most of the other characters get time to do. And she finally got access to the cure, fulfilling her quest since all the way back in the TVD days. It made me smile.
Freya also doesn’t get to do much, but in this year of 20gayteen, I won’t begrudge her lesbian-married, sperm-haranguing happiness.
Mikael makes the most of his cameo with the requisite Bad Dad-ing.
Camille’s cameo is wasteful. But hey, we got to see Camille.
Caroline picks up a surprising amount of slack, and it’s her time with Klaus that impacts him the most on making the choice to say goodbye to Hope. Because Caroline makes a similar goodbye to Klaus, leaving him with an admittedly sweeping kiss, and walking out without looking back. That one scene had more raw sincere passion than anything TVD tried to shove down our throats between her and Stefan.
Oh, and much like the TVD finale, The Originals chose the right pairing of characters to end on.