The Originals Season 5 Episode 7 – TV Review

The Originals God's Gonna Trouble the Waters Antoinette

Forget her, Elijah. She’s just vampire Nazi trash.

I’d like to first start this post by correcting an error I made last episode: there was Hollow-quake action at the house when Elijah and Klaus were fighting. Remember that random hail? Yeah, I didn’t last week, either.

But if a Hollow-quake happens in the woods, but it doesn’t affect the scene in any way and only pretends to be important when it’s brought up by a C-list character in the next episode in a suddenly-prophecy, does it make a story-impactful sound?

TL;DR The answer posed by The Originals is “yes,” as apparently the Hollow-quakes portend imminent doom for the supernatural citizens of New Orleans; everyone takes the time to mourn Hayley this episode; Klaus abducts Elijah and Antoinette; Marcel and Vincent try to restore Elijah’s memories behind Klaus’ back, but magic gets in the way; Hope stomps her teen angst feet a bit, but resolves to find a way to save her family.

I’m going to stop holding out for a Sophie cameo, by the way. I forgot that she’d moved up to the big leagues with Jurassic World. But a mention would be nice, no?

So let’s get to the meat of the episode, as Miss Cleo suddenly reveals that an ancient prophecy was foretold about New Orleans’ supernatural community falling as a result of the very events the Hollow-quakes have been producing. There are only two to go (fire on the water, and a monsoon) before the death of all firstborns happens. She tells this to Klaus, and as this would mean Hope would die (and Freya, but whatever), his determination to solve the Hollow problem is renewed. Before that, though, he has to deal with some vampire Nazis, who Elijah and Antoinette are in town to visit. To be fair to Antoinette, she only meets with them to pay respect to her mother, and she is as aghast as any non-Nazi would be when she finds out how many there are. But then Klaus swoops in to abduct her and Elijah, biting her in the process, too. Klaus just wants Elijah to stay out of the city to keep the Hollow shards away from each other, but Marcel and Vincent get the idea to go behind Klaus’ back and restore Elijah’s memories so that he can join them in trying to defeat the prophecy. However, when they attempt this, some dark magic (and a reprise of the groan-worthy Red Door garbage that polluted last season) knocks him unconscious, leaving the plan askew and Antoinette without her promised cure from Klaus’ bite. I think we’re supposed to care about this? Meanwhile, Hope is upset and outraged over Hayley’s death, and that none of Hayley’s friends make it to her New Orleans street funeral on time. This fury is ignited by the arrival of some gun-toting vampire Nazis, so Hope nukes the fuck out of some of them. And in public, too. Once they’ve given Hayley her werewolf bayou funeral, though, she mellows out, and pledges to Freya that they’ll find a witchy way out of this. Klaus later appears, despite all advice, to hold her hand, and sets off the fire on the water level of the prophecy, while also pledging to find a way out of this. Oh, and in a pleasant surprise, Freya is the only one of the Mikaelsons to show any real sorrow over Hayley’s death, as she has a tender scene where she breaks down in despair while alone. Thankfully, though, Keelin shows back up to be with her woman later on.

Josh has had enough time to get another boyfriend, and he’s failed. Keelin and Freya are our only gay hope, now.

I mean, again, I can’t really say this is a bad episode of television, or even a bad episode of The Originals. But this is the final gosh-darn season. I need more than this mediocre breather episode bullshit, that’s crapped up with eleventh hour doomsaying and “magic does what we say it does” garbage getting in the way of restoring Elijah’s memories.

Bring. Out. The. Callbacks and cameos. The only redemption for this “dark magic or something is stopping us from helping Elijah” stupidity is if it turns out to be Esther. I mean, it’d be another groan to drag her back after all this time. But this is the final season, and The Originals has always been all about family.

Let your fanservice flag fly, show.

 

Why I hate this episode:

I genuinely fear that the CW learned nothing from TVD’s final season villain debacle and we’re about to get another set of threadbare villain cutouts to see us through to the end. Sirens and the Devil? Don’t make those same mistakes, The Originals. Please.

Let’s get back to that prophecy, though. Like, seriously, show? We’re seven episodes deep in your final season and now we’re breaking out the arbitrary, end-of-the-world prophecy card? Sure, Season 3 got a lot of mileage out of Alexis’ prophecy. But that was there from the start, and they had a full season to play with. And it actually meant something and was personal. Miss Cleo just comes outta nowhere with some douchey book of gloom. I’m not into it.

Is anyone else finding it weird that The Originals seems to be avoiding actually namedropping “The Hollow?” Last season wasn’t that bad, you guys. It’s okay to say it out loud.

Caroline expresses her condolences and support to Klaus via letter this episode. Bitch, you’re gonna have to work harder than that to be the replacement love interest.

After the hand-wringing over the Declan issue last episode, this gets put on hold as he’s randomly gone back to Ireland, and nobody’s even told him about Hayley’s death yet. Maybe don’t come back? Because you didn’t add anything to this story?

Klaus is pretty cavalier with this prophecy, apparently happy to waste one of the only two final stages to simply hang out with hope for five minutes. Not a great plan.

Oh, and I’m disappointed that Antoinette and Elijah aren’t doing more to shut down the vampire Nazis. They’re Nazis, for Christ’s sake. Do something!

 

But it’s not all bad:

In Antoinette’s defence, she is kind of like “have you guys tried not being vampire Nazis, tho?” So I think the chances of a big reveal of her being the Naziest vampire Nazi of them all are fading. Which is good for her.

However, with this near-death treatment, and the torturing of Elijah, this could radicalise her. Never say never.

Elijah is still stuck without his memories, and therefore endlessly telling Antoinette about how he’ll always love her blah blah blah. But, and despite the Red Door nonsense, his agony when his memories are threatening to come back is affecting. I’m still waiting for its completion so we can get the ultimate Hot Guy Crying scene when he realises how he failed Hayley, but this is a step in the right direction.

Speaking of, I was initially outraged when Klaus refused to let Elijah have his memories back. But Klaus later clarifies this by explaining he’s protecting Elijah from knowing he let Hayley die. Fair.

And I legitimately refuse to believe that whoever has captured Klaus and Elijah inside that mind plane could be anything other than a returning character. The Originals hasn’t done much to earn my trust with this final season so far, but I can’t envision a world where this opportunity would also be flubbed.

Hope’s rampaging this episode is on the wrong side of whiny teen, but I am definitely here for her using that emotion to explode truckloads of vampire Nazis. Tantrum your way to victory, baby.

The one moment where I was actually into it was her “I’d rather be dead” scene. Mainly because Klaus was there to react to it.

Freya is the surprising emotional MVP of the episode, though. I suspect it’s probably because Hayley at this point was the only other female character she was able to bond with, so her loss is a big deal, but her bedside breakdown got to me. Which is why I was equally ecstatic when Keelin showed up. Sure, a garden variety werewolf isn’t going to be much use in fighting prophecies and Hollows, but somebody needs to have an OTP up in here, dammit.

Caroline did offer to help however she could in that letter. By coming back and being with Klaus ever after, hmm?

Klaus keeps his emotional plate spinning when he carves Hayley’s name into a bayou tree that also has Jackson and Grandma Mary’s names carved into it. He speaks to her and admits he doesn’t know what to do, and all with a tear in his eye. Woof.

Oh, and Elijah may be stuck in a doomed last minute romance with Antoinette, but as long as he looks this pretty, I’ll allow it.

The Originals God's Gonna Trouble the Water Elijah undercut

You’re not young. We know. It’s okay.

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About ijusthateeverything

Sincerity is death.

7 responses to “The Originals Season 5 Episode 7 – TV Review”

  1. IHateJuliePlec says :

    Freya is a useless character. Hope is annoying. Freya was never close with Haylie ( Guess Julie Plec didn’t watch her own show when she wasn’t the HBICONTROL, Hashtag Bring Back Narcducci ) Declan went to visit his mother for her birthday, remember? …. AND ENOUGH WITH THE CAROLINE CRAPOLA.:)

    Anyone else find it hilarious Klaus didn’t care at all that Elijah snapped Caroline’s neck and apparently left her on the ground after they went in the house to fight. Oh and Caroline apparently didn’t care , after she woke up she wrote him a letter and left town.lol

    I’m sorry but this show is unwatchable. I don’t know if it’s possible to get any worse….

    • ijusthateeverything says :

      I’m flattered that you would think I’m invested enough in Declan to remember anything about him. Alas, I am not that generous.

      With the season halfway done, I’m starting to doubt if it’s gonna be able to get back on the rails. And the fact that Legacies is happening means whatever impetus Julie Plec had to wrap shit up here is now gone.

      Should we hold out hope for a bizarre, unexplained resurrection of Hayley and Camille in the finale? I’d be into it.

      • IHateJuliePlec says :

        We can dream of that ending but I doubt it. I totally see Julie killing them all and meeting in “Heaven” to end the series. I call this copying the end of lost.

  2. kl says :

    Why does Davina get to live? But we can’t have Camille and Haley.

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