The Originals Season 5 Episode 5 – TV Review

The Originals Don't it Just Break Your Heart Elijah sex face

The Hotness Parade has evolved.

But if he’s not doing it with Hayley, do we even want it?

Also Antoinette actually is a secret villain or is she hyuck hyuck.

Really, The Originals?

TL;DR Halfway done, and the season is yet to find its footing; flashbacks show how Klaus and Elijah once faced off against some Nazi vampires; present day Klaus struggles with a demand from this group to bind Hope’s werewolf side in exchange for Hayley’s release; Hope tries to make this decision herself, but Klaus intervenes; it turns out Antoinette knew Elijah in the past; and is the (rebel?) daughter of the lead Nazi vampire; and Roman is his son.

And Featured Female Vampire is his wife, but do you really think she’s going to last long enough to earn a name upgrade?

So it doesn’t take long for Klaus and Marcel’s vampire oppression to pay off, as Featured Female Vampire announces she’s the one who left the Nazi coin. She reveals she’s a member of an old and hate-filled group of anti-werewolf vampires whose beliefs parallel the Nazis, and amid torture from Klaus, provides him a chance to save Hayley: have Hope’s werewolf side be bound, like Esther did to Klaus, and they’ll free Hayley. Klaus utterly rejects the notion, but literally nobody else is with him, as Marcel leaks it to Freya, who leaks it to Hope (Freya is still visiting magic school), and Hope is like “let’s do it, baby.” Klaus, sadly, stops it from happening. Meanwhile, Featured Female Vampire gets a burst of super strength and frees herself, beating up Josh along the way, but not before continuing to spill her anti-Klaus poison into his ear. Meanwhile, Klaus dresses down Marcel for squealing to Freya, and Marcel’s eyes begin to open to the inequality in their relationship. Meanwhile, Elijah and Antoinette discover somebody is taking surveillance photos of her. She admits that her father was the lead of, gasp, the Nazi vampires, but she doesn’t share his beliefs. She did, however, meet Elijah (and Klaus) long ago, and Elijah is mad that she kept this from him. But he gets over it later. Meanwhile in flashbacks, we see Klaus and Elijah tracking down a case of slaughtered werewolves, and it turns out to have been perpetrated by August, the leader of the Nazi vampires, and Antoinette’s father. Klaus is enraged on behalf of his own inner werewolf, and fights with Elijah about whether or not they should go after August, because their actions could lead Mikael to them. Also Klaus has daggered Rebekah at this point and had been lying to Elijah about it, but that’s spilled milk these days. And to close out the episode, Roman offers Hope a way to sneak out of magic school and go on a road trip, but psych, the flashbacks show that Klaus murdered August and most of his followers, but he spared his family. His daughter, as we know, is Antoinette. But his wife was Featured Female Vampire. And his son was Roman.

What are the odds, huh?

That’s what bugs me the most about this thing. This is a supposed to be an “oh, shit” moment for the audience. But instead I’m just rolling my eyes over the fact that all of our new characters are now suddenly some evil cabal.

I mean, it’s likely that Featured Female Vampire and Roman at least had probably planned out their insertion into the Originals’ lives. But Antoinette is proclaiming her innocence from the group’s Nazi machinations, so her meeting with Elijah is a huge, suspension of belief-destroying coincidence.

Really, show? This is your last season, and this is what you’re choosing to spend your time on?


Why I hate this episode:

Well, not only that, but also goddamn magic school. Considering Legacies wasn’t picked up until this entire season had already been made, it’s pretty disgraceful that so much would be gambled on magic school going ahead. I’d drone on again with a “did we learn nothing from Charmed,” but looking at the CW’s own bland Charmed remake preview, the answer is demonstrably a “no.” It’s a shame.

I appreciate that the meat of the Klaus/Marcel relationship has always been whether or not Marcel is really one of the family blah blah blah, so it’s no shock that the issue is coming back again in this final season. But what is shocking is that Marcel himself is shocked by Klaus’ self-interest. The only reason this issue keeps coming back up, Marcel, is because you never learn anything from it.

When Featured Female Vampire said something about the Nazi vampires being named for August, I misheard it as Augustine and got a little bit excited. Not that it would have made any sense, but I’ll take the callbacks I can get, because this new crap in the final season is pissing me off.

Where the fuck is Hayley? Did The Originals needs to save some money on actually putting the main cast in each episode? I thought they still got paid as long as they were in the credits, and she still is. EDIT: just re-checked actually, and no she is not. What the fuck is happening?

Oh, and I think it’s kind of nice to position Klaus and Elijah as disgusted by the Nazis (the real ones, as well as the vampire ones). But, like, the amount of people Klaus and Elijah have murdered arbitrarily over the years without even the excuse of genocidal hatred is in the thousands, right? So… yay, at least they’re not Nazis?


But it’s not all bad:

I enjoyed seeing Elijah and Klaus rage against the Nazi vampires. Someone’s gotta do it.

And points to Klaus for not waiting around and for straight-up murdering August. In front of his followers, and his wife and children. It only took five seasons, but Klaus is finally learning the value of just killing your enemies instead of wasting time on deals and bargains and dialogue scenes. Think of how quickly he would have mowed through Mystic Falls if he’d that this kind of work ethic back then.

I admire Klaus’ direct, if petty approach to defying Featured Female Vampire in the present, too. He just goes out to the bayou and picks up some werewolves to turn into hybrids to piss her off. Cool.

She makes some ominous threats about how the Nazi vampires are greater in number and hidden well everywhere, which was giving me some Hydra/SHIELD vibes. And that’s okay with me. I wonder if anyone in the regular cast will turn out to have been a secret Nazi all along?

Speaking of the regular cast, while they do all remain separated, the three Mikaelson siblings we do get time with this episode still manage to be compelling. Klaus is always the queen of petulance; Freya is the cool but caring aunt to anchor the teen angst at magic school; and Elijah’s romance subplot is doing a lot more telling than showing in regards to how strong their bond supposedly is, but Elijah is definitely selling that sex face.

I am choosing to believe Antoinette’s claim that she isn’t a Nazi like her family. But I’m also not opposed to a surprise villainous turn from Jaime Murray. It’d be saucy.

Hope’s quick decision to acquiesce to the demand for the binding spell is refreshing. As she should, too, because Hayley’s abduction is her fault.

Oh, and sure he’s a Nazi, but snaps for Hope for macking on that chiselled, Aryan bod while she has the chance.

The Originals Don't it Just Break Your Heart Hope Roman kiss

Honey, you’re already cast. It’s Roman who’s gonna have to pray for a redemption arc to make it in.

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About ijusthateeverything

Sincerity is death.

9 responses to “The Originals Season 5 Episode 5 – TV Review”

  1. SlayerNina Fansub (@slayernina) says :

    You will watch Legacies? Because if not, I’m going to miss your snark a lot.

    At least I hope the main trio (Human Elena and Damon and ghost Stefan) make a cameo. It would be rude if they don’t appear in any form, I mean, those threesome are the ones who created all this. Also, Katherine as a villain. Just give Nina Dobrev a huge paycheck. If she could manage having several seasons with her ex, she can manage the high heels and the hair full of evil

    • ijusthateeverything says :

      Oh, honey, I am for sure sticking around for Legacies. It’s going to be a glorious disaster.
      Competition’s on with the new PLL spin-off, though. Which will be more horrifying? We’ll have to wait and see.

  2. kl says :

    I was excited to see Freya do the spell to bind Hope’s werewolf side because that was a callback in itself, but then I was like ummm so where’s the person who’s blood you’re going to use that will create dopplegangers? You know, one of the key parts in breaking the curse later? Just what Klaus spent a thousand years waiting for, and that the whole launching of TVD universe was based on?

  3. The One Who Knows says :

    I tried really hard to ignore all things Originals (because to be frank, this season is quite abysmal) but alas, I cannot restrain from the sweet, sweet face of Elijah Mikaelson.

    “But if he’s not doing it with Hayley, do we even want it?” Thou speakest the truth, but, if we’re being honest with ourselves, we’re always down for some sexy Elijah.

    I absolutely agree that it’s a shame that the Originals last hurrah is being spent as a set up for a spin-off noone even wanted.

    Word I’ve hear from Internet whispers, who knows if it’s true, is that Phoebe Tonkin wanted same pay as her male co-stars, and the reconciliation was that she was demoted to guest star. That, or you could believe that she was shanked for Klaroline. But it’s quite ridiculous. Practically all female characters of the Originals are dead. And even Elijah is barely in this, the final season, like wtf?

    Good point on the Mikaelsons being murderers, regardless of Nazi feeling. Looks like the writers have become numb to their own writing.

    If anyone regular is to be Nazi, I bet it’s Elijah. With his forgotten memory, and who knows what the hell the writers want to do with him.
    I was also quite willing to believe Antoinette. Hopefully she doesn’t let down.

    This was quite a lot, but I guess I’m unloading a lot of my reserved thoughts since the show is no longer high on the watch list. How the mighty have fallen.

    • ijusthateeverything says :

      Remember in the first season how we were spoiled for choice when it came to female lead characters? Rebekah, Hayley, Camille, Sophie. Even the villains like Genevieve and Celeste.

      Now everyone’s dead, and it turns out only penises survive in New Orleans. And if that rumour is true, only penises deserve money. Which is pretty unforgivable considering this thing was being made during the MeToo movement.

      • IHateJuliePlec says :

        Everything Julie Plec says and does is hypocritical, bull shit, fan service. Klaus and Caroline still exist in any form but Haylie can’t be with Elijah because he hurt her in his mind like 2 seasons ago. That’s the way she rolls.

        I have a page on my blog called, why I hate Julie Plec and in it I say I don’t really hate her. I’m changing my mind the more of this season I watch.

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