Dynasty Season 1 Episode 14 – TV Review

Dynasty The Gospel According to Blake Carrington Sam Steven kiss

The Originals doesn’t always get it right, either.

The Originals/The Vampire Diaries comparisons between Dynasty and Riverdale are still going for me.

As Riverdale slips further into the quagmire of mediocrity, Dynasty nails another delicious outing this week.

Hell, I reckon Dynasty could probably handle masked serial killers and mafia intrigue better than Riverdale, too.

TL;DR Fallon and Black Driver’s scheming against Jeff goes medium; while Jeff himself sees his plans go off the rails thanks to his unhinged father; Cristal clashes with Blake over their approaches to her feelings for Journo; Steven smarms his way around the fallout (pun intended) regarding Ted’s leap of faith; but this, sadly, drives Sam further away.

I’d say that Sam should have sex with someone to spite Steven, but he already used that move when he banged Ted. Sam’s gonna have to go deeper into the playbook for this one, I think.

So it’s another busy episode for our Dynasty denizens. We’ll start with Fallon, as she and Black Driver put their heads together to work out why Jeff would want to trick her into marrying him. This culminates in a dinner Jeff hosts for his dad’s return to the free world, and Fallon attends as Jeff’s fiancè, and Black Driver attends as Monica’s boyfriend. Their attempts to find Jeff’s server room to find out what he knows about them don’t yield results, but the dinner is then blown up by Daddy Cecil going in on Fallon for being the devil daughter of his nemesis and airing his accusations about Blake fucking his wife and planting drugs on him. Fallon seems to believe him and bitches at Blake later, but he denies it. Natch. Meanwhile, Cristal’s hot kiss with Journo last episode, that she initiated, apparently meant nothing to her, and she tries to distance herself from him. However, Blake has found out about it, and demands Cristal instead lead Journo on so that they can pump him for info on Jeff (Blake has also found out Journo is involved with Jeff). Cristal is disgusted and refuses. But I have hopes she’ll come around. Meanwhile, Ted amazingly survives his jump out of the window, so Steven, political candidate, has to go into damage control. Both to appease public opinion, and to get evidence of Ted’s tussle with Sam hidden away. Blake suggests he pretend to still be together with Ted, and this wins over the public pretty easily. More difficult, however, is Ted’s father. But Steven finds a way around that, too, and even though Ted wakes up and tries to bust him, it all turns out okay. For now. Well, except for Sam, who feels increasingly out of place and burdensome, especially now that Steven can’t be with him (for even more reasons). Alan Dale tries to pep talk him into staying, but we’ll see. Oh, and Cecil pulls rank on Jeff and proclaims that he will be taking over the revenge scheme against Blake.

So is he going to marry Fallon?

I mean, what an episode. Everyone gets something scandalous to do. Even Steven, at long last, gets a chance to play.

Sure, Cristal gets largely sidelined, and her relationship with Journo is inconsistent. But she does break out a couple of lewks during her few scenes. And Blake takes the opportunity to get off his well-worn spot on the bench and do some top tier meddling.

This is some good primetime soap opera shit, is what I’m saying.


Why I hate this episode:

I genuinely had no major gripes about the episode. My only close to big complaint is Cristal’s inconsistency. Last episode, she macked on Journo like her life depended on it. But now she’s like “nah.” I hope there is more to the story.

Ted’s father’s religious zealotry was a little confusing. It was unclear whether or not he had a problem with his son’s homosexuality or not. It turns out (I think?) he didn’t. But it was weird.

Oh, and I guess we should do an obligatory eye roll that Black Driver just happens to have a little sister who is a computer prodigy and can find out what Jeff did to the Carrington family server.


But it’s not all bad:

But she was a sharp little bitch. And she was gone after her one scene, thankfully. Let’s hope the CW doesn’t let history repeat and have her come back to take over and destroy the whole show.

We’ll get to Fallon in a bit, because she is still our favourite live action cartoon character. But you know what? I’m gonna give the highest praise this episode to Steven. It turns out when he actually gets a chance to be a shady scheming bitch, he’s not too shabby. And his innate goodness enhances the fun factor, as seen particularly in the scene when he convinces Father Ted that he was getting Ted back into religion (Sam’s earring that he he has to steal was a crucifix). Even when a brain damaged Ted wakes up and tries to say Sam’s name, Steven doesn’t relent and pinches the earring right in front of them. Yes, bitch. Work.

Steven also gives himself an ear piercing with a syringe in the bathroom to make his story about the earring being his more plausible. Body mod realness.

I’m also going to give Blake high praise this week, too. His shining moment is when Steven can’t get in to see Ted (to steal the evidence) because he isn’t family. So Blake makes a fake ruckus about how it’s homophobia that Steven, Ted’s committed gay boyfriend, is being barred entry. Blake being supportive of his gay son is always a good time.

This then snowballs into Steven publicly proclaiming his relationship with Ted, and also privately selling it to Father Ted. Good one, Blake.

This also sadly leads into Steven, having earlier reconnected with Sam romantically, having to shut down their relationship again. To preserve the ruse. At least they had a real reason to break up this time.

But enough stalling: let’s get to Fallon. Sure, she and Black Driver don’t really achieve much. But I admire their audacity to attend the fuck out of that horrific Colby family dinner. Fallon totally sells her outrage when Black Driver knocks her drink over on her, which is her excuse to get up and snoop for Jeff’s server room.

While I can’t condone Fallon’s choice to believe Cecil’s accusations against Blake, I appreciated that she did contextualise this by discussing how Blake has always been manipulative, and she sees now that he probably poisoned her against Alexis the same way he took down Cecil. Blake, of course, denies all this.

But Blake doesn’t stop there. Much like he demands of Cristal to string Journo along, Blake wants Fallon to proceed with the wedding to Jeff (which has also been pushed up to only two weeks away). Aloof, overlord Blake was fun. But ruthless, in-the-trenches Blake is a nasty cunt. And I like him.

Alan Dale gets another warm moment when he convinces Sam not to run away, and to stay with the Carringtons. Sam’s mostly worried about being found out to be an illegal alien, so Alan Dale gives him the number of his own immigration lawyer to help. Aww.

Oh, and Fallon finally wins in a direct fashion head-to-head against Monica at the Colby family dinner. A red, boobalicious jumpsuit is no crime on Monica. But she ain’t got nothin’ on Fallon’s movie star feathers.

Dynasty The Gospel According to Blake Carrington Fallon dress

I don’t know how Cecil was able to get mad at this.

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About ijusthateeverything

Sincerity is death.

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