Dynasty Season 1 Episode 11 – TV Review

Dynasty I Answer to No Man Fallon kidnapped robe

Fallon’s a winner, baby.

Dynasty keeps bringing the cheesiness, and wraps up the rest of Cristal’s family backstory.

Sadly, Alexis is yet to sashay in, but we’ve got new long lost sibling intrigue waiting in the wings.

Will this one also be a prostitute/cam boy?

TL;DR Fallon keeps the sass levels cartoonishly high while everyone else scrambles to rescue her from Alejandro and Iris’ grip; Cristal ends up being the most heroic of all, saving Fallon, killing Alejandro, and setting Iris free; Jeff’s manipulations of Fallon stall, and we meet his cousin, the new police chief; Steven and Sam resolve to move out together; Blake reveals he has another child.

Who was kidnapped as a baby and never seen again. Soap-tacular!

So it turns out Alejandro is not content to be a one episode wonder (and it was a damn good episode), as he and Iris hold Fallon for ransom. Blake tries to keep things contained, but eventually every one of our main characters finds out and bands together to help. Even Jeff, as Black Driver fills him in, too. Blake, however, acts weirdly cagey about the whole thing, frustrating Cristal, who bucks Blake’s plan to play things cool and attempts to make the trade for Fallon without the whole ransom. So Alejandro takes her captive, too. But these are the main bitches in a prime time soap, darling, so naturally they Enemy Mine things up and work together to escape. Fallon gets to safety, but Cristal is dragged along to the final boss battle against Alejandro, and Iris, having spent her episode re-evaluating her relationship (mainly due to endless barbs from Fallon), shoots him dead to save Cristal. Cristal claims to the police that she killed Alejandro, leaving Iris free to flee into the wind. Aww. Meanwhile, the new police chief becomes entangled in the Carringtons’ mess when she comes to meet them. It’s discovered after some run-around (including a dick-measuring duel between Jeff and Black Driver) that she is Jeff’s cousin, which weirds everyone out, but she as yet doesn’t seem to share his evilness. Speaking of, his plans to propose to Fallon fall apart when she tells him she no longer wants to be tied to any man, professionally or romantically. Meanwhile, Alan Dale and Sam realise their de facto father son bond, and Sam declares he’s moving out to live with Steven. And in a true prime time soap opera shocking reveal, Blake explains to Cristal that his trepidation in dealing with Fallon’s kidnapping is due to his first son with Alexis having been kidnapped as a baby. They did everything the police told them to do, but the handover went pear shaped, and their son was taken away and they never found out what happened to him.

Oh, honey. He’s out there just waiting to show up at a gala event. Maybe involving someone getting shoved into a fountain?

You know, I’ve gotta hand it to Dynasty again this episode. This is some real quality soap opera we’re being served, here.

And the efficiency with which they handled the Alejandro plot is pure gravy on top. Way to get it done, show.

But I can only think: where to from here?

 

Why I hate this episode:

A mere handful of episodes after the Claudia/Nick arc ended, and now the last pieces of Cristal’s backstory have also been exposed and filed away. I admire Dynasty’s workmanlike approach, but we’ve got another eleven episodes to go, right? And my senses aren’t telling me that Alexis is nearby just yet. What’s next?

I mean, other than the continuation of the Jeff villainy arc, of course. But do we really care about that? His relationship with Fallon was his only actual point of entry to work his scheme, and that looks like it’s gone. I guess we’ll see.

And do we care that Jeff’s cousin is the new police chief?

Poor Steven is still trapped in subplot purgatory, as he literally has nothing to do this episode. His plans to move out are put on hold due to the kidnapping, but then he doesn’t play any vital part in the rest of the episode. I still think we need to team him and Fallon up. The show reminds us of their bond this week. Maybe we should use it?

And are he and Sam back together as a couple or what? They’re going to live together, so yes, right?

Dynasty is still having some tonal issues. Fallon is all robes and insults while she’s kidnapped (not to mention the comedy sequence of nobody noticing she’s missing), but then we get Alejandro’s repugnant physical abuse of Iris smacked in our faces at odd intervals. I mean, it’s not impossible to live in both worlds. But I think Dynasty would be better off making a choice.

Oh, and just one episode after I praised Jeff and Black Driver for burying the hatchet, and they dig it right back up and start whingeing at each other, again. I’m over it, boys.

 

But it’s not all bad:

Their fight this episode is about whether or not they should call the police, as Jeff thinks they should, but Black Driver wants to abide by Blake’s decision not to. They fight, and Black Driver eventually relents, and Jeff plays a Literal Genie card by saying he’ll call the police. So he calls his cousin, the new police chief. Who is at Carrington Manor, and this is how Steven and the gang discover she’s Jeff’s cousin. It’s a small moment, but I do like a good dovetail.

Fallon is the queen of the episode, naturally. Her robe and lingerie ensemble while being kidnapped does a lot of the heavy lifting for her. Because it is inspired in its campiness. But I would never discount the flamboyant, irreverent act she puts on, despite being held at gunpoint. She is perfection.

The highlight of all this is when Alejandro pulls out some scissors and cuts her offscreen to show he’s serious to Blake. In actuality, all he cut was her hair, but Fallon treats being given a non-consensual fringe as equally heinous as a lost appendage.

Alejandro then picks up the episode’s best line during her tirade: “Keep talking, I’ll turn it into a mullet.” If Dynasty is going to make a tonal choice, let it be known that my vote is for campy. As I’ve mentioned several times before.

Still on the camp train: Cristal eventually fends off Alejandro by using a lighter Fallon got from Steven last episode to ignite a hairspray (I think?) can to make a flamethrower, thus allowing Fallon the chance to escape. So fun.

And to prove I’m not totally biased, I also appreciated the more genuine moments between Cristal and Iris.

And, surprisingly, Alan Dale and Sam. Alan Dale brings Sam a commiseration tequila shot after they hear Alejandro has been killed, and Sam says Alan Dale is more of a father to him. They hug it out, and it didn’t feel trite. Aww, you guys.

I’m here for a long lost sibling revelation anytime, baby.

Oh, and maybe I’ve been approaching the Fallon/Cristal dynamic incorrectly all along. Instead of longing for out-and-out catfights, I could have been wishing for a Vitriolic Best Buds type of relationship, instead. Because they do make a good team. In between insults.

Dynasty I Answer to No Man Fallon Cristal kidnapped

Golddiggers gon’ want gold, you know.

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About ijusthateeverything

Sincerity is death.

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