Arrow Season 6 Episode 1 – TV Review

Arrow Fallout Black Siren Katie Cassidy

Dynasty needs all the help it can get.

I’m only still here for Katie Cassidy.

And the occasional male shirtlessness.

TL;DR Arrow leans ever harder into nothing having consequences; Black Siren is being teased for an obvious redemption arc; Olicity rumbles in the distance; William is shaping up to challenge Olicity for worst plot tumor; Slade offers some hope in the darkness.

It’s a good thing he’s not main cast on another show so is definitely going to continue getting screentime.

So remember how I called Arrow toothless in last season’s finale? Well, even I was shocked at how little impact the explosion on Lian Yu has had on our gang. The only person to have explicitly died on the island is Samantha (obviously), with Thea now in a “we don’t have to pay Willa Holland as much this way” coma, and Diggle having acquired a shaky trigger finger from his injuries, thus giving him a reason to have a subplot nobody cares about. Over in the major plot, Oliver and our heroes face off against Black Siren and a gang of mercenaries, who are out to murder police officers or something. Who cares? Oliver also has to deal with being a failing parent to a traumatised William, while also warming back up to Felicity. Great! Black Siren is eventually kinda-thwarted, but not before some bizarre subplot about how Quentin had to shoot her back on the island when she threatened to kill Tina, but he and Tina concealed it because it was Such A Bad Thing to do. Huh? Quentin is also heavily on the “she’s my daughter” train of thinking, which, like, no she isn’t. We also find out Black Siren was saved on Lian Yu by some rich dude in a helicopter; Oliver gets Wild Dog another chance at getting his daughter back; Slade shows up just to say goodbye; and Oliver Queen is outed as the Green Arrow to close out the episode.

Who cares?

I know I don’t. I really am just here for Katie Cassidy.

 

Why I hate this episode:

I don’t care what happens to these people. I’m as disinterested as I was in iZombie when I got off that ride, which is not good (and I was justified, because iZombie Season 3 was a muddled, meandering mess). The only reason I’m going to keep up with Arrow for now is because it’s so basic that it doesn’t take a lot of energy to complain about it each week.

Arrow’s fatal flaw is the lack of stakes. Can you believe that an apocalyptic explosion involving every main character on the show would result in not a single main cast death? What the actual fuck, writers? How are we supposed to care about any threatening circumstance moving forward when you’ve proven that consequences don’t apply?

Remember Moira and Tommy’s deaths, and how impactful they were? Because present day Arrow clearly doesn’t.

Fuck Curtis.

I don’t abhor Felicity as much as some, but she and Oliver together are poison to this show. Please, Arrow, don’t go back there.

Tina’s hair is so big that it’s distracting. And cunt, you are no Laurel.

Why did Tina and Quentin act like their encounter with Black Siren on the island was so heinous? Our heroes gun down goons by the dozen every week, and they are far less dangerous than Black Siren was in that moment.

Oh, and Quentin’s decision to ignore parallel universes and treat Black Siren as his very own daughter is absurd. What the fuck?

 

But it’s not all bad:

Although Arrow’s already shitting the bed with it, the subplot about Quentin and Black Siren’s complicated feelings towards each other is one of the only two legitimately compelling things in the show right now. Let’s not waste it, guys.

The other is Slade’s journey for his son. The promos indicate he will show up and be on some nebulous revenge quest, but I’ll take the Aussie villains I can get.

Katie Cassidy is grossly underappreciated, but she manages to be the sinister ham we need in all of her scenes. Work. Bitch.

Is it too much to hope that Oliver’s outing as the Green Arrow could lead to a much-needed status quo change?

Oh, and I wasn’t kidding when I said I was also here for the male shirtlessness.

Arrow Fallout Wild Dog shirtless

That’s a compliment.

Advertisements

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

About ijusthateeverything

Sincerity is death.

Leave a Comment

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: