Once Upon a Time Season 6 Episode 15 – TV Review

OUaT A Wondrous Place Aladdin Jasmine True Love's kiss

Who?

Yes, at this dire moment when Hook has been torn from Emma, leaving her vulnerable to Gideon’s attacks, let’s spend an episode with Aladdin and Jasmine, and The Subplot That Literally Doesn’t Matter.

Also, let’s kill that Hook/Emma tension immediately, too.

TL;DR Hook runs into Aladdin and Jasmine (and Ariel), and together they find and liberate Agrabah; flashbacks show how Jafar defeated Jasmine in the first place; Hook tries various things to return to Storybrooke, but fails; he does send a message of love to Emma, though; Regina and Snow take Emma for a girls’ night out.

Sadly, ABC isn’t brave enough to include any bathroom stall blowjobs. Weak.

So remember how Jasmine wished herself and Aladdin to Agrabah? I didn’t, but OUaT apparently did. However, they ended up oddly in the Enchanted Forest, with only a diamond ring from Agrabah’s crown jewels to show for it. They run into Hook, because the Nautilus got portaled to the Enchanted Forest, and together they devise a scheme to use a magic compass to find Jafar, and then defeat him/use him to portal Hook back to Storybrooke. Instead, they are led to Ariel’s cabin in the wilderness (Nemo and Liam2 splinter off to stay with the Nautilus), and Ariel has Jafar’s genie lamp (finally, some Once Upon a Time in Wonderland continuity!). Amongst all this, we get flashbacks to Jasmine’s time in Agrabah shortly before it fell: with Jafar holding Agrabah hostage for her hand in marriage, Jasmine runs into Ariel, and together they search for Prince Eric to request aid from his army to defeat Jafar. But Jafar is always a step ahead, and Jasmine eventually capitulates and agrees to marry Jafar to spare her city. But psych, Jafar needed her to give him the crown jewel ring in order to be able to actually hurt Agrabah. And he does, with his present self, released from the genie bottle and the genie curse, gloating that he trapped Agrabah in the ring’s jewel. But then Jasmine uses some magic sand to turn him into a staff, and randomly uses a True Love’s Kiss with Aladdin to restore Agrabah, and break the genie curse on Aladdin, too. Aww. Hook is less than impressed because he still hasn’t found a way back to Emma, but Ariel lends him a shell phone so he can deliver the truth about his departure from town to a grateful-to-hear-it Emma. Meanwhile in Storybrooke, Regina and Snow take Emma to a new bar in town fun by Aesop (of the Fables). Not a lot happens, but Emma does cry into a napkin when discussing Hook with Aesop. After she hears Hook on the iShell 6S, Aesop appears, revealing himself to be Gideon in disguise, and claiming that while he holds her tears, Hook won’t be able to return to Storybrooke (or the shell merely stops working? I wasn’t paying attention). And, instead of killing Emma (and instead of using Gold to do it like we were told was supposed to be happening. Huh?), Gideon recruits her to kill the Black Fairy.

I’m not sure you really needed the whole run around, G. I’m sure Emma would help you defeat evil if you just asked nicely.

I mean, this isn’t the most offensive serving of OUaT filler around (thank God it isn’t another Belle episode), but, like, who cares?

We haven’t seen Jasmine and Aladdin for six episodes. Aladdin’s schedule has been so empty that he’s defected over to Jane the Virgin.

And the episode deals with the Agrabah mystery so flatly and quickly. Did it matter?

 

Why I hate this episode:

Men in Black already did the “it’s in the jewel” thing, too. Lame.

Mostly what bothered me about Aladdin and Jasmine’s plot was that I didn’t remember any of the stuff that came before. Hook talks to each of them this episode in private, and it’s apparently news that they could possibly be in love. I’m sure this is my fault for not making enough room for this couple on my sprawling OUaT conspiracy board (I assume the people who know what’s going on episode-to-episode must all have one of these), but come on, Disney. This is Aladdin and Jasmine. They’re in love. You don’t have to make it a mystery. Because it’s not.

Oded Fehr was even more wasted as Jafar than Naveen Andrews over on Wonderland. He’s such a nasty, delicious queen this episode, but is given no room to stretch his wings and really go for it. He settles for popping in at awkward moments in the flashbacks; his “curse” on Agrabah causes it no actual harm; and his defeat in the present is just chucked in there. The heroes aren’t compelling, anymore, OUaT. Let your villains ham it up. That’s why Queenie worked so well in the first half of the season.

And why Gideon doesn’t. What a puny pussy of a man. He demonstrates he can insta-teleport behind Emma this episode. And instead of using that ability to, oh, I don’t know, shoot her in the fucking head, he instead asks (well, extorts) her for help to defeat the Black Fairy. You’re a mess, girl.

The girls’ night out is super dull. The bar has very few patrons, and the only fun part, when a drunken Snow challenges some Vikings to knife-darts to see who will pay the bar tab, is handled offscreen. Yawn.

Why are the Saviour’s tears suddenly a thing?

Fuck off, Ariel. If we’re dredging up forgotten Disney princess characters, where’s Sleeping Beauty?

August has now missed his moment to creep on Emma. Boo.

Oh, and I didn’t understand flashback Jasmine’s plan regarding Eric. Early in the episode, the Sultan explains to Jasmine that she needs to marry a prince so they can have access to an army to oppose Jafar. When Jasmine hears that Ariel is in Agrabah searching for Prince Eric, Jasmine’s eyes light up and she sets out with Ariel to find Eric. So she can use his army against Jafar. So was Jasmine planning to marry Eric? Because that’d be pretty rude to Ariel. And if she was only hoping to ask for his help, what the fuck, honey? Ariel even mentions that she’s only met Eric once and doubts if he’ll remember her. Was Jasmine just hoping Eric would hand over his soldiers’ lives to Jasmine because she would have asked politely?

 

But it’s not all bad:

Ariel (I assume? Because of drowning?) can’t take Hook through a portal, which we know she can create, but she does have a shell which he can use to walkie talkie a message to the similar shell he has back in Storybrooke. It’s about as close to consistent mythology as OUaT’s gonna give us, so I’ll take it.

Speaking of consistent mythology, Jafar, upon being released from the genie bottle, alludes to the events of Once Upon a Time in Wonderland by stating he doesn’t have much pain left to deal to Jasmine, so will instead go after those who imprisoned him. Sadly, his defeat hits the brakes on this. But I appreciate the bone toss for we, the few, who watched Wonderland.

I feel like we’re getting closer to more Black Fairy episodes. And with Queenie gone forever, it’s time for Jaime Murray to be the sexy, hammy villain goddess this show desperately needs.

The bar’s name is Aesop’s Tables, and I know I should roll my eyes at that, but I actually kind of love it.

David is emotionally conflicted when Emma tells him about Hook being his father’s murderer. I lol’d.

Oh, and Regina and Snow look like trashy romcom minor characters when they’re on the girls’ night out.

OUaT A Wondrous Place Snow Regina girls' night

By forcing her to talk about her failed relationship? Not a great plan.

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About ijusthateeverything

Sincerity is death.

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