Ciao, 2016 – Blog
We don’t talk about 2016.
Except for now. And only very briefly.
What I won’t miss about 2016:
Apart from everything, I mean.
I won’t miss Pretty Little Liars, now with only a merciful ten episodes left, and its ceaseless procession of incomprehensible trash. The writers must be in on the joke, no? God.
The Vampire Diaries continues to limp on without Elena, and with only a handful of episodes left in its pocket, too, I don’t think it can recover. Still wouldn’t mind a final visit from Katherine, though.
A largely forgettable year for studio movies. Especially the paltry effort from Warner Brothers to bring the DC movies up to scratch with the MCU. What happened, Suicide Squad?
How did Paul Feig go from Spy to fucking Ghostbusters? Again, what happened?
So much Belleshit.
Oh, and horror had another tough year on TV, with Bates Motel turning in its least captivating season yet, Scream Queens doubling down on all its mistakes, and Scream unable to even get a campy Halloween special off the ground. Even PLL could do that, you guys. Yeesh. And I appreciate everyone’s agreement to pretend Damien didn’t happen.
But it wasn’t all bad, so I’ll miss:
Oh, Fox. Home of the unwatchable Scream Queens and American Horror Story (FX is still Fox. It counts). How could the birthplace of those dumpster fires manage to churn out the constantly surprising and impressive The Exorcist? Another Damien it wasn’t, The Exorcist proved that you could do the ol’ “classic horror movie repurposed into a new TV show” shuffle without it being a disaster.
And yeah, Bates Motel has done that, too. But Bates Motel has Vera Farmiga, so that’s cheating. And I will concede that even the least captivating season of Bates Motel is better than pretty much anything else on right now.
Game of Thrones finally stepped out of the shadows of slavish book adaptation and became an actual television show, and it was glorious. Forward momentum? We waited six seasons, but we got some, baby. Things are happening.
Where Ghostbusters sharted, Supergirl triumphed, proudly pushing its feminist agenda, but making it fun and fabulous at the same time. Who knew that a CBS procedural starring Marley from Glee that got kind of cancelled and then had its budget cut to move to another network would be the show I most look forward to each week? Shame about Calista, though.
Once Upon a Time is still riddled with problems, but the return of Queenie to main character status isn’t one of them. Dare I say Queenie is even more of a Katherine than Katherine (of TVD fame), herself? Brilliant.
Rogue One wasn’t perfect, but it came at the remarkably right time for Princess Leia to take a final lap.
Oh, and Arrow achieved the unthinkable and turned itself completely around after a real pooey end to its fourth season. Not since Revenge Season 3 has a show managed to fix things so entirely. And Laurel’s back, Felici-cuuunts.
So there you go. Apart from the fact everyone died and Hillary got gypped, maybe we could all lighten up a bit on 2016?
Nah. Where’s the fun in that?