The Vampire Diaries Season 8 Episode 6 – TV Review
You’d think Damon’s staking would be a bit more climactic.
Too bad it’s mired in flawed logic and needless melodrama.
Welcome to TVD Season 8: The Death Throes.
TL;DR Seline’s plan is to offer the twins to Cade so she and Sybil can go free; but Sybil pulls a switcheroo and offers Damon and Stefan as his new servants, instead; Alaric declares he’s going to spare us any more of the twins’ pathetic child acting and is whisking them away forevar; and he stakes Damon to avenge his daughters’ mistreatment. And Tyler, I guess.
Oh, so now TVD expects us to believe people care about him?
So with Seline on the run with twins and literally setting off an Amber Alert, the race is on for our heroes to find her. But Sybil and Damon find her first, and Seline explains her plan is to offer the twins, an incredibly rare pair of magic siphons, as Cade’s replacement servants. Sybil’s still kinda mad about Seline’s whole “abandoning her to centuries of Armory vault torture” thing, though, and when Cade is summoned, offers Damon and Stefan as his new slaves, instead. Damon’s in because it means avoiding Hell (because that’s really important to him these days), and Stefan is always ready to jump at a chance to martyr himself, and consents in order to save the twins to impress Caroline. Meanwhile, Sybil arbitrarily mind melts Enzo just because, but the power of his love for Bonnie helps him break free. Meanwhile, Alaric finally lays down the law to Caroline that the twins aren’t really hers, you know (because they’re not), and now that he’s got them back, he’s taking them away from all this supernatural danger. Caroline at first wags her flaps at him in indignation, but eventually agrees that perhaps it’s for the best. And the episode ends as Alaric (and Matt. Because he needs the screentime) murder Damon.
It was inevitable, I suppose.
I’m still struggling to get on board for this season of TVD. The incessant pushing of the Siren stuff feels like such a waste of the dwindling time this season, and series, has left. Shouldn’t the conflict be something more personal between the characters we’ve already known for eight seasons?
I was hoping that the deal to give Damon and Stefan to Cade might signal the end of the Sirens’ screentime. But nope; Sybil apparently has more plans.
Plans to fuck off, perhaps?
Why I hate this episode:
Her side deal with Cade, unbeknownst to Seline, involves her keeping her immortality, too. So it looks like she’s gonna be hanging on like the oddly-accented dag she is.
Sybil’s offer to Cade for the Salvatore brothers includes a spiel about how they’re such prolific serial killers/mass murderers or whatever, so they’re perfect for serving Cade’s will. While I appreciate that someone has the balls and memory capacity to remind us of their legacy of atrocities, if prolific, mass-murdering vampires are at the top of the acceptance list for Cadie’s Angels, then why not go pick up a couple of Original vampires? Think about it.
Stefan’s martyrdom is such a joke at this point that I was half expecting the show to even start acknowledging it. Sheesh.
Alaric’s supposedly badass decision to stake Damon is so ridiculously fucking flawed that I genuinely can’t believe it made it into the episode. Firstly, Alaric is all “Wah wah you endangered my daughters whinge whinge.” Umm, not really? Seline stole your daughters, and Damon is under Sybil’s control, not Seline’s. And Sybil didn’t even want them, so. Yeah, he didn’t do much to free them once he and Sybil were part of Seline’s road trip, but he’s under pretty robust mind control, so again, not good reasoning, Alaric.
His second point about avenging Tyler also lacks impact. If Matt had been doing the staking, it would make more sense.
And lastly, with Damon dead, won’t that void Cade’s deal with Sybil to take the Salvatore brothers? Because Stefan said they’ve got twenty-four hours before the contract begins, so Alaric has killed him before that. I mean, theoretically, if Cade’s the King of Hell, I guess he could just shove Damon’s soul back into his body or whatever. But still, not a good plan, Alaric.
Oh, and Bonnie and Enzo are as unearnedly operatic as ever about their love. Shoosh, you two.
But it’s not all bad:
Sybil’s mind torturing of Enzo brings him back to his days on the Augustine vivisection table. It was a pretty cool callback, and TVD didn’t make a big deal out of explaining what it was. Respect.
Stefan also puts his continuity pants on and uses his vampire mind fuck powers, at Bonnie’s urging, to go into Enzo’s mind to try to help him. And it’s through this that Stefan gets the link to Sybil and is able to acquire clues as to her, and, by extension, Seline and the twins’, location. It was uncharacteristically smart for post-Season 6 TVD.
Sybil, amazingly, turns out to be the bright spot of the episode. After weeks of drudgery, she finally comes into her own (with shades of her bitchy role on UnReal) when she shits all over Seline. She was, dare I say it, delicious?
I particularly liked her gloating over making her side deal with Cade, informing Seline that she’s been able to retain her immortality, while Seline now faces time in Hell when she dies. Her mention of further plans is disappointing, but Seline definitely needed a good metaphorical bitch slap. And Sybil’s the girl for the job.
Sybil also makes note of how she and Seline have different accents (Seline learned an American accent to better blend in). She heard my complaints.
Get those kids outta here, Alaric, and don’t come back. Thank you. Thank God.
Oh, and I struggled to find a second image to use for this review because most frames from the episode are so unremarkable. But I liked this one of Bonnie trying to look relieved, but actually looking like she’s just realised exactly how far this show has fallen. A realisation the rest of us made over a season ago.