Scream Halloween Special – TV Review

Scream Halloween Special Keiran death

We’re as shocked as you are, Keiran.

I did watch this about a month ago.

But, you know, it’s Scream The TV Series. Does anybody care?

Also, I’m not reviewing this as two episodes. To save time.

TL;DR Little of consequence occurs outside of Keiran’s murder in the first few minutes. The whole thing is a charming enough diversion, and I think the Halloween Special thing was a good idea. I just wish it mattered.

And in a two hour double episode, they still couldn’t find time for a decent chase scene.

So things kick off with Keiran’s rather unceremonious murder at the hands of yet another Ghostface, before we get to the meat of the special’s plot, which is a cute little knockoff of I Still Know What You Did Last Summer paired with Harper’s Island. The gang goes on an island holiday to research a graphic novel that Noah and Gustavo (I finally name upgraded New New Guy) are making based on the legend of a girl who apparently went crazy and murdered some people. This is Emma’s show, though, and she’s all about letting loose in an effort to escape the “that’s her” looks and finger points she gets back at home. So she becomes entangled with some island hottie, naturally. But then people start getting slashed, and it’s deja vu all over again. In the end, Emma’s new boyfriend turns out to be the killer, and Emma straight-up murders him. No pussying out like last time, hey? We never do find out who butchered Keiran, though. Subplots include: Brooke and Gustavo arguing about her New York University dreams (but they work it out); Audrey’s new girlfriend being jealous of Emma (but they work it out); Noah and Gustavo clashing over the ethics of profiting from stories of their friends’ deaths (but they work it out); and Emma deciding that she’s proud of who she is, after all.

There’s also a superfluous mystery arc surrounding the original island murders, but, again, who cares?

Not caring about Scream; not being invested in it, has become a recurring problem for this MTV series that, inexplicably, has been allowed to lurch on into a third (albeit truncated) season.

This Halloween treat isn’t terrible. It just simply isn’t very good.

And after two years, I’m sick of Scream not being good.

Let’s get some fucking main cast deaths in Season 3, huh? They are embarrassingly overdue.

 

Why I hate these episodes:

Yeah, the Scream movie series holy trinity managed to survive all four movies. But I kind of had a problem with that, too. And they had a lot less total time to fill up. At two and a bit seasons down the road, it’s unbelievable that the skanky blonde chick hasn’t died yet. I love you Brooke, but you shouldn’t be here.

Not even Audrey’s disposable new girlfriend dies. There’s a scene where Alex, the killer, has her at point blank range, but instead of murdering her like a competent baddie, he just yells after Emma and waits to get thwarted. Fuck you, dude.

Alex is basically a carbon copy of Keiran. He’s another bland, white dude with some told-not-shown tragic backstory. I, foolishly, was holding out hope that the lady groundskeeper would be the killer. But no. I don’t know why I expected Scream to do anything that wasn’t blindingly obvious.

There is still an unholy lack of chase scenes with the deaths. This is basically a non-canon episode(s), so Scream could have gone anywhere they wanted with it. They could have done anything. But they didn’t give us a decent fucking chase scene. I’m bored, man.

Noah’s resolution, that it’s important that he and Gustavo make their graphic novels based on the horrifying murders around them to ensure the victims’ stories are told, is offensively self-serving. Why does Noah have to always try to be the most profound guy in the room? Just admit you’re doing it for the money, honey.

Oh, and I didn’t care about the revelations surrounding the backstory of the original murders. Does it matter? It didn’t have anything to do with Alex’s murder spree.

 

But it’s not all bad:

The secret passage the gang finds while unravelling the mystery was cute, though. Very Scream 3.

Really, the best thing about the special is that Scream The TV Series finally seems aware of the slasher properties it’s imitating. Harper’s Island is basically the only other slasher show for Scream to compare itself to, so it was nice for it to finally go at that comparison head-on. And I Still Know What You Did Last Summer is a campy triumph, so it warmed my bitter, snobbish heart to see it hasn’t been forgotten.

And the special’s finest moment is a callback to the Scream that started it all, as Ghostface calls Emma on a big, chunky landline phone at the bungalow the gang is staying in. Perfection. Although, was that Ghostface Alex, or the other Ghostface who killed Keiran? Because Alex didn’t kill Keiran. Hmm.

The less serious tone of the special is a marked improvement for Scream. Things are often so dour (and Noah’s unending attempts at “comedy” are of no help). This should be what the show is like moving forward. Even if it is only for six more episodes.

Despite almost all of the special being side story bullshit, Keiran’s death at the beginning is for real, and is committed by a new Ghostface. At the end of the episode, we get a little more continuity handed to us, as we see Kevin Duvall ominously brooding over Keiran’s grave. And then, to cap it off, a “Mr James” checks into a Lakewood motel. I am in awe of Scream’s confidence that it was going to be renewed. Ballsy.

The guy who plays Noah and Gustavo’s agent is attractive.

With no major cast deaths (Keiran was an outed killer. He doesn’t count), my expectations of an explosive kill in Season 3’s premiere have been set. As much as I love Brooke, it’s time, baby. Or Audrey. I’d be okay with that.

Brooke gets the best line, of course, when shit hits the fan: “We need to get off of this island right now!” She may be a skanky blonde, but she’s not a dumb blonde.

Oh, and Brooke even seems to be aware that this is only a party, and nothing’s really at stake

Scream Halloween Special Brooke wine

“Refill, please.”

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About ijusthateeverything

Sincerity is death.

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