Once Upon a Time Season 6 Episode 8 – TV Review

OUaT I'll Be Your Mirror Regina Queenie

Unless it’s just Queenie posing as her.

It’s just Queenie posing as her.

Still sizzling, though.

TL;DR Queenie temporarily thwarts Emma and Regina and tries to turn Henry to her side; but he’s too goody-goody to be swayed; Snow and David live their separate lives; Belle runs to Zelena for help escaping Gold; they fail; Gold tasks Queenie with murdering Zelena.

That’s what I want.

So Emma and Regina finally decide to do something about this whole “Queenie is wrecking the place quite a bit” thing, and they come up with a plan to trap her in a mirror. But, of course, Queenie beats them to it, and traps our heroines there, instead. The Dragon is also trapped in there, and together they work on an escape plan. Meanwhile, Queenie poses as Regina and angles to help Henry become worthy of succeeding her. Sadly, Henry sees through her shit and resists, and using the power of love and improbable timing, he manages to free his mums from Mirror World and escape Queenie for now. Boo. Henry also has a chaste tween date with Violet this episode, too. In case anybody cares. Just kidding; nobody does. Meanwhile, Belle calls upon Zelena to help her escape Gold and flee Storybrooke. Zelena needs the Sorcerer’s wand to do it, so Aladdin, against Jasmine’s wishes, steals it from Gold. But Gold catches onto them, anyway, and shackles Belle with a magical bracelet or something. He closes the episode by macking on Queenie and revealing the next chapter of their villainous partnership: killing Zelena.

No objections, anyone? Good. Decision made. No backsies.

You know, if it wasn’t for Henry’s bullshit romantic subplot, this would be a near perfect episode of Once Upon a Time.

Hell, I can stomach a Zelena scene as long as the endgame is that people are scheming to murder her.

Murdering Zelena is the true way to my heart.

 

Why I hate this episode:

Belle and Zelena’s arrangement reeks of mandatory screentime for their actresses. Their partnership is amazingly tenuous, even by OUaT standards. And it doesn’t go anywhere. Gold just whooshes in at the right moment and steals the wand right back.

And then he and Belle again (again!?) play the “I’m bad but I’m protecting you whether you like it or not” beat. Again.

Henry is, as usual for him, the sore spot of the episode. I forgot who Violet was (not for the first time), so that wasn’t good. And then Queenie going all gaga and making her plans all about helping her dipshit of a kind-of son made me sick. Why can’t Queenie just be out for herself? Why does she have to be saddled with some archaic, maternal impetus. I know Disney isn’t some great paragon of female character representation, but come on, ABC.

Speaking of Disney, Henry and Queenie mention Star Wars obtusely. So transparent.

I don’t understand why Queenie had to request the Hammer of Hephaestus from Gold. They say it’s magic for people who have none, and Queenie offers it to Henry to use to crush the Dragon’s heart (Queenie turns him into an actual dragon to imperil Emma and Regina while Henry is forced to watch). Its purpose becomes clear when Henry takes a third option and uses the hammer to smash the magic mirror. But OUaT has always established that a ripped heart can be crushed by just using your hand. There’s no reason why Queenie had to give Henry some magical hammer to do it. It’s bizarre.

Gold tries to choke Zelena to death but he gets injured in return. Because his life is still linked to hers from that deal they made fucking two seasons ago. What is this? PLL? I can’t be expected to remember that shit at such short notice.

Oh, and Snow and David’s woes over being kept apart are predictably dull. But at least they don’t take up a lot of screentime.

 

But it’s not all bad:

Any Snow/David misery is good misery. Oh, the mild discontent of it all. The fact that they’re already being so melodramatic about it after only, like, a day is testament to their idiocy. At least Queenie didn’t fucking murder you when she had the chance (but she totes should have, though). Be grateful.

Speaking of Queenie, the slay-a-thon continues, and she doesn’t even need one of her fabulous drag looks to do it. She’s perfectly delectable even when dressed down in her Regina disguise. She is an absolute queen, and no amount of street clothes and sensible hair can stamp that out.

Her inability to keep up the facade for any length of time is also endearing. She barely makes it through one meeting with Henry and the gang before she basically drops all pretense and hardly conceals herself at all. When Henry, speaking to her thinking she’s Regina, frets about his date with Violet, Queenie’s advice is to not sweat a lowly peasant dust mite like Violet. Because Henry is a prince who will one day succeed her on the throne. Do you really think that’s how Regina talks, Queenie? You’re not even trying. And why should you? You’re the better half. Gon’ get it, gurl.

Her pre-empt of Emma and Regina’s Mirror World trap is textbook Queenie fabulosity. And she makes a good point about how she thinks like Regina does, so that’s why they couldn’t surprise her. A doi.

In fact, Queenie is all full of good points. Her method, of putting Henry in a position where he will have to kill the Dragon, is a bit crude. But her assertion that sometimes you have to do something wrong for the right reasons is fair. Compromise is an important part of adult life, you know. Naturally, OUaT is far more morally absolute than that, and Henry is able to wriggle out of having to make any hard choices. But points for trying, Queenie. Somebody’s got to be reasonable around here. And if that somebody happens to be an omnicidal Hyde serum manifestation with twenty wigs, then so be it.

Queenie is conflicted over Gold’s order to murder Zelena, and I suspect OUaT will now work to humanise Queenie. But wouldn’t it be nice if she did kill Zelena? Sigh.

Aladdin and Jasmine are better when they’re not the A plot, so I found them more tolerable this episode. And Aladdin steals not only the wand for Belle, but he also pinches a magic lamp. He and Jasmine discuss how Genie, having been set free, isn’t in there. But hope that whoever inhabits it now could be able to help them. Original Jafar?

Sidney is mentioned when the Dragon shows Emma and Regina a living area in Mirror World. Cool namedrop.

Queenie gets the best line of the episode after Regina sets her up sublimely:
Regina: “Henry is not your son.”
Queenie: “That’s exactly what you used to say to Emma.”
Come on, Regina. You can still go back to being her. She was so much more fun.

Oh, and Snow slags off Queenie hardcore when talking to “Regina.” Rude. But it makes for a good reaction shot.

OUaT I'll Be Your Mirror Queenie Regina

Just kill ’em all and say Gold did it.

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About ijusthateeverything

Sincerity is death.

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