Containment Episode 3 – TV Review

Containment Be Angry At The Sun Teacher

A week ago I had Best Of lists to post, bitch.

Apologies for the late review.

Is anybody even watching Containment?

TL;DR Containment has obviously never watched an outbreak movie before (or too many), because every plot point is maddeningly predictable. And who decided to give Jana more screentime?

She’s taking precious seconds away from sweaty Chris Wood. Which is unforgivable.

So we’re still in the honeymoon period of the virus, as decorum is largely being kept inside the cordon. But the cracks are showing. Chris and Lex bear the brunt of it this episode, as the dire police shortage inside the cordon starts to become evident. Chris and Lex both want to get more officers in there, but Claudia absolutely will not let any more bodies in. So when a group of people, spurred by some fear-mongering posts from Blogger, try to break out, violence ensues. But, like, only one person gets shot dead. And a barely memorable minor character is the one who does the shooting, so, like, whatever. Meanwhile, El Prego looks to be in the clear virus-wise, but her mum’s grocery store price-gouging earns an attack from bandits. Chris defuses them. Meanwhile, Teacher splits her time between flirting with Chris and negligently watching the remaining kids, one of whom is touched by an infected man at the hospital. The child’s father holds Teacher and British Doctor at gunpoint to take his son home (breaking the quarantine he should be in), but nobody gets shot. Aww. And over at Jana’s office, her leadership is tested by the two male coworkers who insist on going out to get food. So she just doesn’t let them back in. She also whinges at Lex about everything because that’s how Jana do.

Maybe if everyone in Lex’s life didn’t constantly complain at him, he could actually get some policing done.

At this point, it’s becoming clear that Containment isn’t going to be taking any risks.

I’m still holding out hope that Lex, who continues to be the show’s best asset, will surprise us.

By finally snapping and, I don’t know, throwing Claudia over the cordon wall. Or going in Rambo-style to rescue Jana, only to have her lock him in the sluice.

But I suppose that as long as Chris Wood stays sweaty in a singlet, I’ll keep coming back.


Why I hate this episode:

The escape attempt climax’s resolution is such a fucking cop-out. I can’t believe Containment palmed off the shooting to that random “I didn’t sign up for this” guy. That shot should have been taken by Lex or Chris. But no, we wouldn’t want to tarnish our hunks.

Chris himself is hitting saint territory with his subplot this episode involving burning the dead bodies. He meticulously catalogues their personal belongings and puts their ashes in individual containers. Just so Teacher can swoon at how sensitive he is when she finds out that’s what he’s been doing. Ugh.

Jana has a big, self-righteous screech at Lex because he didn’t tell her about the reinforced cordon before it was set up. Cunt, there are thousands of lives at stake, here. And what would finding out earlier have done for you, anyway? Shut up.

There’s a massive WTF logic issue regarding Blogger and his lesbian minions’ plan. The lesbians get a photo of the weak link in the cordon. They want Blogger to post it, thereby alerting the authorities to it, who will then seal it, so then Blogger can use that as a story about how the authorities are evil. For securing the cordon they’re already very committed to? “Yeah, let’s show everyone that the authorities are trying to keep us in here. What do you mean they already know?”

Oh, and if their plan was for someone to get shot while attempting to breach it to demonstrate the magnitude of force the authorities are willing to use, then fuck you guys.


But it’s not all bad:

The lesbians are shown to have contracted the virus at the end of the episode. Suckers.

Blogger himself gains a bit of dimension. He seems conflicted about the plan, which is nice. Maybe he could evolve into a force of good?

Lex, even saddled with the thankless role he’s given (both in and out of universe), still manages to stand out. His constant rank-pulling on Chris is starting to wear out their friendship, while he must oblige Claudia’s demands. Containment is largely devoid of conflict outside of the virus, so a brewing showdown between Lex and Chris is welcome.

I’m also quietly praying that Claudia will try to jump Lex’s dick. But, unfortunately, I think the pull of Jana’s harpy shriek will prove too strong for Lex.

Chris Wood’s sweaty, bare arms are their usual sweaty, bare selves. Let them never cease.

Teacher’s subplot happens through some stupid convenience, but I’m a little bit impressed that a show as tame as this would infect a young child so early on. Infant immortality ain’t here, baby.

And the standoff when the child’s dad comes to take him home, regardless of the risks of infection, isn’t half bad. The lab rat guy, quickly forming as the dark horse of the series, helps calm the situation. And then the dad gets to take his son, anyway. The virus keeps finding ways to get out there.

I liked that lab rat guy’s wife, El Prego’s grandma, tells her husband to stop doting on her and get back to helping create a vaccine. Grandma prioritises.

Jana’s female coworker sides with Jana, forsaking┬áher adulterous boyfriend to the quarantine sluice. Sisters are doing it for themselves.

Oh, and let’s not forget what we came here for:

Containment Be Angry at the Sun Chris Wood sweaty

So say we all.

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About ijusthateeverything

Sincerity is death.

2 responses to “Containment Episode 3 – TV Review”

  1. Sire says :

    I’m watching it hoping for a shirtless Chris or sexy Asian doctor….. and the show itself is mildly entertaining

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