The Vampire Diaries Season 7 Episode 21 – TV Review

TVD Requiem For A Dream Damon Bonnie fight

“Come at me, Bon,” at least.

Well neither Bonnie the Vampie Slayer, nor the Giant Space Flea From Nowhere from the vault have formed as a true final boss for the season.

Which means the finale will either rush through one, or stretch them out to go into next season.

Everybody loses.

TL;DR Bonnie fucks over all her friends thanks to her vampire hunting impulses; Caroline is marked, and must go on the run accompanied by Stefan; Enzo and Damon refuse to give up on Bonnie; the vault only appears ominously at the end of the episode, but nothing is illuminated.

Probably because it’s so dark in there.

So the entire episode is dedicated to the gang’s reactions to Bonnie being slow to awake following her life, and vampire hunter impulse, transfer from Rayna. They suspect Bonnie is willing herself to reject the life transfer to protect them from her vampire hunter self, so one by one they use that vampire mind trick thing to project nice thoughts of vampires into her head. One by one they fail, as first Caroline, and then Enzo, are somehow imbued with hunter’s marks when they’re attacked in the hallucinations. Huh? Stefan abducts Caroline for her safety, and despite her incessant whingeing, he convinces her to allow him to take her on the run. Meanwhile, Damon is last up to bat on the mind trick, and instead of trying the flowers and sunshine approach, he does things the Damon way and goads her into waking up out of spite. Because if she were to allow herself to die, then Elena would come back to life. Which would make Damon happy. And Bonnie was mad enough at him before the vampire hunter stuff. It works, and she almost kills him, but Matt offers some grudging intervention to spare Bonnie the anguish she would eventually feel if she were to kill Damon. Thanks, Deputy Dewey. Enzo sweeps in at the end of the episode to reveal a plan, though: if they sever Bonnie’s link to Rayna’s final everlasting shaman, they might cut out the vampire hate. But to get to the shaman, they need to go back inside The Armory. Which is a fucking bloodbath.

No Alex in sight, though.

Like, really, TVD? This is how you approach the tail end of the season? More Bonnie bullshit?

And, again, like I’ve already said, we already did this with Jeremy.

That Giant Space Flea better be goddamn incredible. Because there’s nothing else to look forward to.


Why I hate this episode:

I’m sure it was there in the back of my mind, but up until the show explicitly mentioned it, I hadn’t really appreciated the fact that Bonnie’s death would mean Elena’s return. So I did feel a bit of tension regarding what could happen to Bonnie. But then TVD, as part of Damon’s plan to get Bonnie up out of spite, rubs that reminder hard into our faces. And knowing Nina Dobrev said “uh, uh” so she could go be in movies means that there’s no way Bonnie will die. So the tension vanished. Not a good plan.

I was also never on board for a whole Bonnie episode, either. In case you couldn’t tell.

The hunter’s mark stuff is another inconsistency. Rayna explained that all her hunter stuff was linked to the Phoenix Stone/Sword. So there’s no way Bonnie should be able to mark anyone without one. And certainly not in a mind trick hallucination that she’s not even in control of. What the fuck? I was going to praise TVD for calling back to the mind trick, like The Originals did so charmingly last week. But then this fucktardery turned up.

Ginger Spice would probably be really useful right now. If not as a magic siphon, then at least as a witch. Give her a call, Stefan.

Enzo is pretty cavalier about the plan to sever Bonnie’s link to the everlasting shaman. Yeah, that’d free her from the vampire hunter stuff. But wouldn’t it also kill her? Because that’s where her new life comes from, too, baby. Damon doesn’t mention it, either. Idiots.

How is Bonnie able to beat up Damon so easily? He can vamp whoosh at super speeds, yet she still wrecks his shit. Just run away, dude.

Oh, and Matt admits to Damon that he now accepts that Penny’s death was his own fault. Maybe you should tell that to Stefan, cunt. Fuck you.


But it’s not all bad:

When Matt gets a report of movement at the Salvatore house, he heads over there to bandy about the Penny-sized chip on his shoulder. When he turns up, Enzo tells him to shut the fuck about Penny until Bonnie, his still living friend, is sorted out. Exactly.

And he does. It’s a miracle. He even tranquilises Bonnie when she’s about to deliver the finishing blow on Damon. She later comes to while he’s transporting her, knocks him out, and turns the car around. But when was the last time we can say we were glad for anything Matt has contributed? He was due.

I enjoyed the conga line of mind trick failures. Especially Enzo’s piss-weak attempt to reach Bonnie through the love of guitar she developed during their romance. He deserved a hallucinatory staking for that one.

When reminded about her life/death situation with Elena, Bonnie remarks that she wouldn’t have to worry about explaining her murder of Damon to Elena. Because she’ll never have to talk to Elena again. She’s living the dream.

Damon’s plan to get Bonnie to wake up out of spite is genius.

Caroline tells Stefan she now understands how he must have felt when he chose to go on the run and abandon her three years ago. But she still won’t forgive him. However, she also can’t tell him that she genuinely loves Alaric, either. I don’t know, Stef. I’d take it.

Damon lures Bonnie to that funeral stump thing from one of the times she died. For you continuity whores. And I am now convinced that Bonnie and Damon are only destined to be vitriolic best buds. It’s a good fit for them.

Oh, and, predictably, TVD makes a Buffy allusion by putting Bonnie in a cheerleader outfit to fight the vampires in her high school memory alteration. They don’t wink at the camera and act all smug about it, so I can dig it.

TVD Requiem For A Dream Bonnie Buffy the vampire slayer

Enzo is no Spike.

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About ijusthateeverything

Sincerity is death.

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