Damien Season 1 Episode 9 – TV Review

Damien The Devil You Know smolder

I can’t resist a perfectly timed smolder.

Well, with only one episode to go after this, has Damien finally decided whether or not he’s going to embrace the beast within?

Kind of?

TL;DR Damien has a bizarre altercation with Chilean Exorcist and some priests which pushes him into surrendering to the Satan side; Simone kind of stands around like an idiot; but also wastes time jailbreaking Wynonna, only for Wynonna to pointlessly die; Ann and Colleague plod through their required screentime; Detective gets suspended.

The only sensible thing to happen in this episode. Hell, the whole show.

So Simone, as I imagine is much to her actress’ delight, finally gets a bit of play this episode as she and Chilean Exorcist mutter over what to do with a shot-in-the-gut Wynonna. Simone wants to get her to a hospital, but Chilean Exorcist wants to save Wynonna’s soul from the evil grip of Ann and the devil or whatever. That is made moot when Damien comes calling, asking for Simone to arrange a meeting between him and Chilean Exorcist now that Damien’s heard about what happened to Charles and believes he really does need some religious help. Chilean Exorcist appears sympathetic to Damien’s plight, but then predictably Megiddo Daggers him, and then she and a bunch of other priests wrap him in thorned vines and put him in a hole/grave and pray around it or something. Damien surges with the power of Hell (which I would have to assume wasn’t part of their plan?) and escapes, stabbing Chilean Exorcist back. Bitch. Meanwhile, Simone, left alone with a fading Wynonna, helps the poor girl limp to freedom, before abandoning her in the woods when she hears Damien’s screams. Wynonna is then impaled and killed by vines for some reason. Meanwhile, Ann sets her sights on Colleague for deets on Wynonna’s disappearance. But all they do is find Wynonna’s dead body. And Detective is suspended for duty because his interference in Damien’s affairs is what caused Charles and Doctor’s deaths. His paranoia also drives away his husband and son.

But not that superfluous one-eyed girl ghost who shows up occasionally to mean and do exactly nothing.

One episode to go. Let’s move it.


Why I hate this episode:

Damien doesn’t even properly kill Chilean Exorcist. He just gut stabs her and legs it with Simone. You’re the fucking Antichrist man. Roll some goddamn heads or something.

Speaking of Damien being the Antichrist and having all that devilicious supernatural influence, what the fuck was the deal with Wynonna’s death? Damien had no beef with her, he didn’t even know she was there, and there was a whole field full of priests who could have used a vine through the oesophagus before she did. Yet another character who just didn’t do anything.

Chilean Exorcist went from badass in her first appearance, to grumbly-but-still-invested last episode, to fanatical idiot this week. Yet, again, another wasted character. I don’t care about any of these people. It’s exhausting.

Ann is benched a-fucking-gain. It’s maddening. It really is.

That little one-eyed ghost girl provides the obligatory Ravenswood moment this week. Just fuck off.

Oh, and Detective is still no closer to proving anything about Damien.


But it’s not all bad:

The most sane people in the show are Detective’s superiors, who are rightfully incredulous at his claims that Damien masterminded all the weird bullshit, including dog attacks, that’s been going on. A suspension was definitely in order.

Wynonna’s death is arbitrary, but it sure looks cool. Vines go through her gunshot wound and expand and grow and end up coming out of her mouth. Yucky.

With his visions in the hole and his summoned devil strength, Damien might have finally accepted who he is.

Simone gets some rationality points from her acted-upon quest to get Wynonna out. Yes, she abandoned her, but on this show, getting even that far is a fucking miracle.

Chilean Exorcist tries cutting off the 666 flap of skin on Damien’s scalp in an effort to cure him (I think?), but it turns out to extend down to his skull. Cool.

Oh, and for a second, when she was sympathising with his plight and saying he was still God’s child and stuff, I thought she might actually be an intelligent human being. She also later thinks Damien’s smolder is trying to tempt her. Which, of course, is natural.

Damien The Devil You Know Chilean Exorcist

He’s sacrilicious.

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About ijusthateeverything

Sincerity is death.

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