Damien Season 1 Episode 8 – TV Review

Just kidding. They don’t kiss.

But I think it’ll be okay as long as Damien doesn’t do what every other show has done recently and kill the gay character off quickly and arbitrarily.

Damn. That, too?

TL;DR Charles is killed off as quickly as he’s introduced; Damien stays at his snail’s pace of Antichrist development; Detective goes in circles; Simone and Chilean Exorcist stagnate; Ann is benched again; Wynonna returns.

And is immediately dispatched.

Sigh, so I’m still watching Damien. This episode features Damien having therapy sessions with that doctor from last episode. In between these he receives Acquaintance Guy’s tongue in the mail, with a message from Charles to meet. They do, and Charles reveals that although he’s still upset with Damien for that whole “setting him on fire” thing, he is a committed Damien worshipper, and Acquaintance Guy isn’t the first person he’s killed in praise of his lord. Damien trades the possibility of a kiss with a beatdown, instead. Which he promptly tells Doctor about. I expected her to call the authorities, but it turns out she’s a Damien worshipper, too, or something, and she sneaks into the police station to finish off Charles before he can blab. And then Detective shoots her to death, too. Because why make progress? Detective spends his episode stalking Damien to no avail, and getting attacked by supernatural bullshit. Meanwhile, Simone and Chilean Exorcist recover that Megiddo Dagger that fell into the drain in episode 2. Meanwhile, Colleague finds out Wynonna is involved with Ann and the Damien weirdness. Wynonna claims she really does care about Colleague blah blah, but when Ann orders it, she goes after Chilean Exorcist. But is shot when they both reach for the gun.

It’s perfectly understandable. To invoke a clichè when your show is this awful.

I think I’m running out of things to say about Damien. Scream Queens was exhausting in its relentless commitment to being abhorrent, but it had colours and flair and flaming garbage.

Damien’s been a grey flatline from the start.

Well, only two episodes to go.

 

Why I hate this episode:

The plot still isn’t moving forward. Damien’s no better informed about what exactly Armitage Global and Ann want. And neither are we. Hurry the fucking fuck up.

Charles was a bizarre late addition to the story, but given his admission of serial killing, history with a younger Damien, and sinful gay love of him, he could have been an asset to the show. But nope, he’s killed off by another minor character in his second episode. Without even getting that kiss.

Speaking of that minor character, was Doctor a plant from Armitage the whole time? Or was she a victim of Damien’s influence? Oh, well. Guess we’ll never know. Because she, too, is dead.

Simone and Chilean Exorcist have some nice chats, and they start the episode out strongly with their retrieval of the Megiddo Dagger. But then they languish in nothing land the rest of the episode. Would it be too much to ask for one of these characters to actually fucking do something?

It might be. Because the only character who is doing something, Detective, is so amazingly incompetent and destructive that maybe everyone’s better off sticking with the thumb-twiddling. His Captain accurately admonishes him for precipitating Acquaintance Guy’s murder by stirring up the past with him and Charles. And his arrest of Charles is what leads to him being locked up in an interrogation room, primed for Doctor to slip in and murder him.

And thanks to the murderers murdering each other, Detective is no closer to knowing anything, either.

Wynonna risks having some character development when she makes her pledge of sincerity to Colleague. But then she returns to the disposable lackey role when she reports back to Ann and gets the order to take on Chilean Exorcist.

The tussle for the gun between them is so predictable. I wanted to find some kind of hyperbole to describe it, but I don’t think it even needs it. Just watch it and marvel at how the show, which cares so little already, barely bothers committing such an obvious sequence to screen. Shameful.

Oh, and the “next week on” teaser also shows that Wynonna lives, so who cares?

 

But it’s not all bad:

Maybe she’ll turn on her mum yet?

Ann, forced to sit out most of the episode, snatches what little screentime she has and runs with it. She takes her Megiddo Dagger to a welder and tasks him with destroying it. But the dagger deflects the flames. The accompanying ominous score is a bit overbearing, but it’s a creepy sequence that works. Take that, Ravenswood.

I assume she was trying to destroy the dagger to prevent the possible killing of the Antichrist. Which is smart.

There is a surprise moment of substance this episode that really did take me aback. It’s the kind of thing we’ve needed from the very start. It’s when Damien visits Doctor after almost killing Charles. He struggles with his conscience over whether what he did was right: was it a good thing to not kill a man? Or was it a bad thing to allow a murderer to live? This is perfect. This is what this show should have been.

I was going to complain about how unprofessional Doctor was in not reporting Damien’s admission of attempted murder, but I suppose her actions later explain that. So good for you, crazy bitch.

Chilean Exorcist bemoans the Vatican’s hubris and inaction when Simone questions why they haven’t sent an army of priests if they think the Antichrist is afoot. Damien needs to take as many potshots at the Catholic church as they can.

She’s also intrigued by the photos of the Damascus woman. I smell a mature lady smackdown brewing.

Oh, and Damien, despite his reneging, seems to enjoy stomping on Charles very much.

Damien Here Is Wisdom Damien stomps Charles

It’s perfectly understandable.

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About ijusthateeverything

Sincerity is death.

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