The Vampire Diaries Season 7 Episode 19 – TV Review

TVD Somebody That I Used To Know Bonnie gun

Spread the word. Please.

The very episode following my bitch and moan about TVD not allowing human drama between its characters, and now we’ve got some potent (if rushed) human drama between its characters.

My complaining changes all our lives for the better.

TL;DR Flashbacks show the evolution of Bonnie and Enzo’s love (she’s hot, he’s hot. It’s not that complicated); Rayna sends everyone on a Phoenix Stone escapee extermination quest; in exchange for her agreement to give Bonnie her remaining life force or something; Stefan still wants Caroline, and her little nest with Alaric is far from solid.

Would it be possible to have the babies fall out and be left to be eaten by animals or something? Because having young children around didn’t do any good for The Originals. And they’ve only got one.

So the major plot follows Damon, Bonnie, and Enzo as they uneasily unite to broker a deal with Rayna: prove their worth by going out and killing the Phoenix Stone vampires, and she’ll relinquish whatever life she has left to Bonnie. Their mission is strained by Bonnie’s insistence on giving Damon the cold shoulder, while simultaneously wrapping herself around Enzo at any given opportunity. Flashbacks reveal how Enzo saved Bonnie from The Armory three years ago, and while hiding out together, they fell in love. Damon eventually chucks a hissy fit, but Bonnie still refuses to let his selfish decision to abandon her slide. Meanwhile, Alex contacts Enzo, and metes out some more info on that basement Vault of Nebulous Evil: Alex’s little sister used Lucy Bennett to seal it shut, but their other sister, Yvette, was also trapped within. Or was she what Li’l Sis was purposefully trying to seal!? Does anyone really care? Meanwhile, Stefan, while grateful for Damon saving his life, is also pretty miffed about Damon being the reason it was in danger in the first place. He awkwardly hangs out with Alaric while waiting to talk to Caroline, who is still away, and the two are roped into helping with the Phoenix Stone vampire extermination quest. Alaric cottons on to Stefan’s intentions to get back together with Caroline and slams him with how Stefan never came back to Caroline, despite Rayna’s capture by The Armory several years ago. Stefan cruelly responds by pointing out that Alaric and Caroline are only together out of practicality, not love. Regardless, when Caroline does show up, she closes the door in Stefan’s face. Just like BonBon did to Damon last episode. And Rayna, plagued by visions of the Phoenix Stone vampires, delivers an increasingly insurmountable list of targets.

Give her an inch, and she’ll take a mile.

To be kind to The Vampire Diaries, I honestly did appreciate the development of Bonnie’s relationship with Enzo, and her commitment to not forgiving Damon easily.

Yes, the Enzo romance is a Pair The Spares weasel. But the effect it has on Damon and Bonnie’s relationship is more important. The show evidently isn’t going the romantic route with them, but it is offering conflict for their friendship. Hell, I think they’re even better than Stefan and Caroline as platonic friends.

Because TVD ruined that by indulging the ship.

 

Why I hate this episode:

Sometimes I remember how hard TVD backpedalled on Stefan and Elena’s epic love to shill Damon/Elena, so Stefan got saddled with Caroline. Which is made more frustrating by her absurd time skip shack-up with her high school teacher.

And it makes Alaric look so pathetic. He deserves better than to be wedge between Stefan and Caroline.

The real headscratcher of the episode is the Phoenix Stone vampire extermination quest. Remember, Ambrose only jumped into Stefan’s body, a vampire body, because Stefan recently died. Stefan got chucked in a boring human body that quickly broke down from having a vampire soul inside it. How many fucking recently-dead vampires did there happen to be in North America when the Phoenix Stone broke? All of those vampire souls should have been sent to human bodies and died by now, right? Was there a snippet of dialogue that I missed to explain it? Because I don’t recall anybody questioning it. What the hell?

I’m also still a little fuzzy on the details of the deal with Rayna. So she’s agreeing to die to give her life force from the remaining shaman to Bonnie? Because Rayna can never live in peace due to her supernatural compulsion to always be thinking of hunting vampires? But, like, if the gang manages to kill all the Phoenix Stone escapees (who shouldn’t be vampires anyway, but whatever), won’t she be free? Because her hunting craziness stemmed from the Phoenix Stone/Sword? I don’t think the show even cares about this one. They just need some convenience to save Bonnie.

It looks like we’re not going to see what Caroline got up to in New Orleans. Which means no clarification on that ominous line from the bartender about Klaus not having been in town for a long time. That’s what happens when you fracture your universe’s timeline.

I can’t believe the door-slam-in-face beat is the exact same two episodes in a row. If Stefan had been holding flowers, the laziness would have really been too much to bear.

Oh, and poor Lucy Bennett died offscreen. Killed by someone even less impressive than Alex. What a waste.

 

But it’s not all bad:

I’m choosing to believe that Yvette is what Li’l Sis was trying to lock up. That she wasn’t just collateral damage. Alex tries to tug on Enzo’s heartstrings about how she wants to rescue her sister; his family. But Alex is a slippery snake. And I don’t want Alex and The Armory becoming sympathetic. It’ll spoil the fun of their prospective slaughtering in the finale. Remember how fun it was to see the Gemini coven butchered en masse? Good times.

Despite the waste, I appreciate the clarification about Lucy. We’ll always have that party from season 2 with Katherine. If you’re only going to get one episode, being Katherine’s partner in crime is the way to do it.

The strength of the episode is the drama between Bonnie and Damon. It causes me grief, but I approve of her resolution to not forgive him so easily. Who would have known that the most compelling relationship on The Vampire Diaries would be a platonic between Damon and Bonnie? Now let us look forward to the show pulling a Caroline/Stefan and ruining it with sex. But God, what sex it would be.

It turns out Bonnie also never read the farewell letter he wrote her. Oof.

I’m hoping Caroline, already showing cracks in her relationship with Alaric, will be less resistant to Stefan’s apologetic charms. But Alaric does make a good point about how Stefan never came back to her, despite Rayna being captured by The Armory before the time jump even happened. Yeah, he was searching for a way to rid himself of the Phoenix Sword scar. And yeah, Armory inmates have a habit of being broken out. But he’s got you there, Stefan.

Caroline’s unenthusiastic response to Stefan on her doorstep confirms that Alaric’s rage on her apparent behalf was sincere, too.

Stefan doesn’t endure Alaric’s barbs without a fight, though. He observes that Alaric has booked in a boring, justice of the peace wedding, which is super not Caroline at all. And they sleep in separate rooms. It’s a sham!

Damon, Bonnie, and Enzo encounter Scary Spice during their vampire hunt (in a different body, natch). Bonnie wants to spare him because he helped save Caroline and her babies, but Damon just rips his heart out. Because the mission to appease Rayna to save Bonnie is more important to him. Because it is more important.

Bonnie’s illness from the Rayna blood pills marches on, and she only has about a week left to live. We’re so close.

Enzo and Bonnie’s romance is silly, but they are both seriously hot in that flashback romantic dinner he puts on for her.

Oh, and Enzo’s look has been a bit patchy, but as a budget Elijah Mikaelson, I think he’s found his niche.

TVD Somebody That I Used To Know Enzo hot suit

“I’ve got a family to protect/murder.”

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About ijusthateeverything

Sincerity is death.

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