Once Upon a Time Season 5 Episode 18 – TV Review

OUaT Ruby Slippers lesbian kiss

See? I remember things I did in the past.

Well, poor Mulan. She finds the only other lesbian-leaning character in Once Upon a Time, and then loses her to another sudden lesbian.

I thought it was only the gay male community that were all “No Asians?”

TL;DR Ruby gives a sleeping cursed Dorothy True Love’s Kiss; Zelena appears to be falling for Hades’ charms; Snow returns to Storybrooke; Belle intentionally sleeping curses herself to protect her unborn child from Hades.

If she could stay that way, that’d make me happy.

So we’re still yet to have that promised James episode, as Ruby reveals why she’s in the Underworld: she used magic to find Zelena, who she assumes is responsible for Dorothy going missing from Oz. Zelena eventually admits that she put Dorothy, who had come to attack her to rescue a captured Toto, under a sleeping curse (like the classic Snow White sleeping curse) so she could steal the magic slippers to teleport to Baby Rapesly. Knowing they’ll need True Love’s Kiss to wake Dorothy, the gang find Aunty Em in the Underworld, but Hades turns her to water and squeezes her into the River of Souls as an example of what he’ll do to anyone caught aiding our heroes. But then Ruby realises that her labial feelings for Dorothy mean she is her True Love, and she uses the magic slippers to return to Oz and snog her lady back to life. Snow goes, too, so she can then go back to Baby Neal in Storybrooke. Meanwhile, Belle begs Zelena for help in how to defeat Hades and his evil contract of evil, but Zelena instead inspires Belle to sleeping curse herself so the baby goes into stasis along with her, and Hades can’t get it (because magical C-sections apparently don’t exist). Gold is not amused. And Zelena herself does some soul searching. While she does things to help the gang, she also seems to be impressed and a bit wet over Hades’ cruelty towards Aunt Em, which he claims he did for her. I suspect she’s duping him to help the gang and earn their trust back to get her hands on Rapesly, but I wouldn’t want to be too generous to Once Upon a Time.

Or the rapist that is Zelena.

Well, who knew Big Disney would let gay characters exist, let alone get a huge, sloppy pash in?

Poor Ryan from High School Musical. The world wasn’t ready, then.

 

Why I hate this episode:

What an absolute fucking insult to Mulan, though. This is a character who got all her gay hints in over two seasons ago, only to be left unrequited because Sleeping Beauty was disappointingly hetero. Then season 5 brings her back and teases her to be with Ruby. But no, Dorothy is suddenly gay and Mulan is left out in the cold. How utterly ridiculous.

And I was kind of kidding about the treatment of her because she’s Asian, but also kind of not.

I can’t believe we had to spend another episode on bloody Oz. So OUaT will suck Oz’s dick from sunup to sundown, but Wonderland gets treated with the barest of regard? Rude. If they wanted to bring back a sometimes-evil sorceress, they should have jettisoned Zelena and called in the Red Queen.

Ruby, yet again, travels arbitrarily between dimensions.

I’m sure there’s a joke in there about how lesbians commit to each other too quickly regarding Ruby’s assumption that her single night of flirting with Dorothy means they’re each other’s True Love. But this is a fairytale property, so it’s par for the course. Still laughable. though.

Once Upon a Time clumsily cloaks Ruby’s concerns over Dorothy being weirded out over their gay romance under some bullshit about how Ruby thinks Dorothy is uncomfortable about the werewolf thing. Oh, Disney.

Oh, and I’m still waiting for my goddamn James episode.

 

But it’s not all bad:

With Snow back in Storybrooke, David no longer has to babysit her for his subplots. So next week, please?

And given that a lot of the Storybrooke sets have been repurposed for the Underworld (which is the reason we haven’t seen a lot of Storybrooke this half of the season), hopefully Snow’s screentime will be harshly cut down.

Clumsy it may be, but bravo to Once Upon a Time for going there on the gay thing. I never thought it would happen. I still think Ruby should have been with Mulan, but I suppose Dorothy will have to do. And that kiss is not as chaste and shying as you’d expect. Those girls get up in there. Well done.

And hopefully this puts Ruby, Dorothy, and Oz to bed for the remainder of the season. Don’t our main characters have an Underworld to escape?

Speaking of escaping the Underworld, OUaT makes a clever callback to when Hades enchanted Hook’s hook to be able to write on the tombstones. He uses this lingering power to cross out Snow’s name and engrave David’s to replace her. Snow wanted him to go back to Baby Neal in Storybrooke, but he sacrificed himself to let her go, instead. Aww.

I lol’d at Zelena holding Toto hostage.

Aunt Em’s fate is pretty fucking rough. I appreciated it.

The gang bring up how the Blind Witch bottled David’s breath recently as the method they could use to transport Aunt Em’s kiss to Dorothy. It’s possible that breath-bottling moment was only intended as a qualifier for this episode’s plan, but I don’t know. I still think the Blind Witch has more in store.

Belle’s plan is simplistic, but I applaud her willingness to get shit done. I also smiled at the added insult to Gold: she expects her father’s kiss will be the one of True Love that will wake her. Not Gold’s. Ouch.

Oh, and Zelena binge drinks alone following her defeat and ostracism from the gang. But that still doesn’t stop her from thinking talking to Belle is even more pathetic.

OUaT Ruby Slippers Zelena drunk

Or maybe kill Belle and take her baby? Nobody said Rapesly was your only chance. And you didn’t even have to rape your way to this one.

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About ijusthateeverything

Sincerity is death.

6 responses to “Once Upon a Time Season 5 Episode 18 – TV Review”

  1. Sire says :

    Fucking Snow and David…. If you are so concerned about your baby, then maybe you chouldn’t have left him behind to go to the Underworld to fetch your daughter’s lover… That will forever be the stupidest thing ever. That and bringing Henry, a teenage boy, to hell, too. All these characters do is bitch about something.

  2. shaz says :

    I personally can’t stand belle anymore, she’s such a sanctimonious little hypocrite, the character has not been done justice on this show at all

    • ijusthateeverything says :

      She’s lucky she’s got that cool Aussie accent. If they’d chosen an American actress (or, worse, made Emlie de Ravin do an American accent) I wouldn’t care about her at all.

      I liked her Lacey persona. Let’s bring that back.

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