iZombie Season 2 Episode 13 – TV Review

iZombie The Whopper Major

Bitch stole Enzo’s look.

Yes, I know this review is a week late.

But nobody said being a lazy bitch was supposed to be easy.

TL;DR A convoluted COW finally leads the gang to the buried Utopium bodies; Major is discovered as the Chaos Killer by Blaine and put under his thumb; the cured-and-then-regressed rats start dying; Babineaux and Dale inch closer to Blaine.

It’s not great progress for thirteen episodes in, but it’s still progress.

So we’ll start with the COW: the gang digs up a body in the field, but not the one they’re after. Corey, as it turns out, is one of Mr Boss’ grunts. Some push and pull later, and Liv discovers the truth: Corey is the one who killed the two Utopium-swallowing goons and buried them in the field, and when Drake and Not E came sniffing around for them, they killed him (he shot Drake first, though, which is what led to his mortal injuries). Friction with Drake aside, Corey’s brains do lead Liv to where the Utopium bodies are buried. Which is a timely find, because one of Ravi’s rats, that he cured of zombification and later regressed, suddenly dies. Oh, dear. Meanwhile, Major is caught on a hit, and Blaine’s goons bring him in. Blaine wants to kill this Chaos Killer that’s offing his wealthy clients, but first he wants to know how Major knows who to target. Major concedes that he has a list, but he doesn’t give up Steven or Max Rager. But Major also informs Blaine that he hasn’t been killing zombies: just freezing them. Which is handy, because Blaine has just endured a humiliating reading of his father’s will that left him with nothing. So Major fetches Robert Knepper so Blaine can thaw him out and get a new will, baby. Meanwhile, Drake keeps his double agent life up; and FBI snoops snap a photo of Major hanging out with Blaine, which puts Babineaux and Dale on high alert.

Two handsome white men in one place? Intolerable.

Although not as mind-blowingly interwoven and cohesive as last episode, this is still another example of how iZombie is at its best when the COW means something to the major arcs.

Tedious filler it ain’t.


Why I hate this episode:

There is too much focus on the Liv/Drake relationship, which I still doubt anyone is rooting for. And it’s not like Liv didn’t know she was dating a gangster, so her constant worry about him is frustrating.

Also, and, being a lazy bitch, this is likely my fault, but Drake is in disbelief when Liv tells him that she’s realised Blaine is the challenger drug lord. Drake would know that, right? Or is he just pretending to be shocked because he doesn’t want Liv to know he knows? I’m confused.

Babineaux and Dale need to pick up the speed.

There is no Peyton this episode, so everything with Mr Boss takes a disappointing timeout on the bench. Mr Boss does appear, but only briefly and without much effect.

Similarly, Steven, Gilda, and Max Rager aren’t around this week. Robert Knepper brings some requisite Bad Dad/Bad Boss smarm, but Steven is the king.

Oh, and the trait Liv inherits from Corey’s brain is pathological lying. But all it really does is make her give obviously bogus anecdotes every now and then. Looks like, as expected, the well is running dry.


But it’s not all bad:

We finally found those bloody Utopium bodies. And in style, too. The COW takes a while to warm up, but once it gets going with the memory flash of Corey shooting Drake and then getting killed by Not E, it blossoms. The denouement is Liv, as Drake had earlier suggested, going to the home of one of the Utopium goons in the hopes of triggering a memory flash. She does, and she meets his grieving mother, who shows Liv a photo of the two goons together. This gives Liv exactly the flash she needs (of the place Corey shot and buried them). But, as I’ve been praising iZombie for, there is also care put into making the goons more than just plot fodder. This one goon was ex-military who couldn’t get a job and just fell down a wrong path. There’s a photo of him smiling with his buddy, and the memory flash shows him begging for his life. And his mum is both sombre in her grief but hardened in the grim acceptance of her son’s disappearance and certain death. iZombie doesn’t skimp on the details.

The precipitation of the COW is cute. The gang dig up a much-too-fresh body, and, being the upstanding citizens they are, call in Babineaux to get on the case. Ravi and Major cover for their digging by saying they were on a treasure hunt. Babineaux briefly takes the opportunity to press Major on Meat Cute again, but is rebuffed.

The best scenes of the episode are between Blaine and Major, because those two couldn’t be more opposite. And, joyously, they make an excellent team (under duress, but still). Blaine teasing a tied-up Major with death is satisfying. And it’s nice to see a dude in distress every now and then.

Blaine offers Major two options for execution: a quick bullet; or, if he won’t give up his source (Blaine thinks one of his own must be leaking intel), he’ll have Major zombified again and bury him alive, doomed to be a hungry zombie in a box forever. Cruel.

Blaine stays his hand in killing Major when he finds out that Major can get him his father back. Why? Because, in a vicious video will, Robert leaves everything to his German housekeeper in the event of a suspicious death. A German housekeeper who neglected and abused Blaine as a child. So Blaine just needs daddy back to make a new video will real quick.

Robert, obviously, refuses. So Blaine lets his cronies torture him. I suspect they will be successful.

In the episode’s most bizarre scene, and one that made me laugh out loud in real life, Blaine puts on old man makeup when he thaws out Robert and pretends it’s been decades since he was frozen. How can Blaine be so lovable yet so bloody evil? It’s magic.

Blaine also has Major take care of reporter Ken Tanaka, who is complaining about getting shitty brains and not having access to the zombie hooker, anymore. Pragmatic.

Liv suggests to Ravi that they use Blaine as their test subject once they can produce some more of the cure. Also pragmatic.

Babineaux figures out that Liv takes on personality traits of the victims in their cases. He attributes it to her psychic abilities, but he’s getting warmer.

Oh, and I couldn’t find a good way to segue to this image, but I couldn’t leave it out. It was between this or the old man makeup, but fake ugly cry face won.

iZombie The Whopper Blaine ugly cry face

Early Halloween decorating idea.

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About ijusthateeverything

Sincerity is death.

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  1. iZombie Season 2 Episode 14 – TV Review | I Just Hate Everything - February 25, 2016

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