iZombie Season 2 Episode 12 – TV Review

iZombie Physician, Heal Thy Selfie Liv Peyton

#crunkatwork #iscrunkstillathing

iZombie is back to an arc-relevant COW. And the brain Liv consumes this episode isn’t even related to it.

Break the formula, baby.

TL;DR A messy case involving an abducted District Attorney, some decapitated thugs, and zombie intrigue connects every major character (except Ravi) in some way; the results leave Peyton further entrenched in the case against Mr Boss; because Blaine arranged for the mayor to crack down on Mr Boss; Mr Boss, too, puts the screws to Blaine (financially); Major is put on a shorter leash by Steven; and Liv realises Blaine is the challenger drug lord who is at war with Mr Boss.

Oh, don’t look so shocked.

So the COW starts off with three decapitated dudes washing ashore. Liv can’t eat their brains to help Babineaux with visions, but presses forward with the case, anyway. Simultaneously, Peyton, having confronted Blaine with the knowledge of who he is, and satisfied with what ground she’s made in her case, tries to resign, but her boss, the District Attorney, is missing, apparently at the hands of the Chaos Killer. Soon after, the trail for the three dead men leads to a cabin owned by the DA, and Liv secretly discovers that the DA is hiding out there, having used zombie strength to kill the men, goons of Mr Boss, when they abducted him via a faked Chaos Killer attack. The official report goes out that Mr Boss went after the DA, and the mayor convinces Peyton to keep on the case and get ‘im. Meanwhile, Steven is perplexed that the DA would apparently be abducted by the Chaos Killer, because the Chaos Killer is Major, and Major said in an earlier report that the DA wasn’t a zombie. Major is forced to admit he gave DA a pass, so Steven creatively pressures Major into compliance by murdering an anti-Max Rager Internet troll, and promising there’s more of that to come if Major lies again. Major stalks Liv to reach DA, and convinces him to get into the freezer, fakes a kill pic to sate Steven, and fakes a suicide to close the police case. Meanwhile, Mr Boss runs into Blaine at the funeral for one of the three dead men (Mr Boss’ nephew), and Mr Boss recognises him. He also remembers that Blaine vanished with unsold product, and now he knows where to find him, he’ll be collecting on that money. With interest. Blaine also blackmails a zombie journalist into aggressively running the story on Mr Boss attacking DA to nudge the mayor into taking out his competition. Meanwhile, Ravi spends his episode trying to get closer to Peyton. And Liv gets a memory flash from the party girl Millennial brain she ate of the girl buying Lucky U, the new Utopium rival, from Not E, and realises that Blaine must be the new drug lord in town.

Again, it’s not like it’s much of a surprise.

Whew, what a plot summary. With the exception of Ravi, everyone is organically folded into the whirlwind of a COW. It’s episodes like these that make up for the obvious filler episodes that are an obligatory part of any police procedural.

Truly astonishing.


Why I hate this episode:

Poor Ravi gets left out in the cold. Babineaux may only be involved for a utilitarian purpose, but Ravi doesn’t even get that. His subplot is about how Peyton keeps encouraging him to drink with her at night to drown her despair over her sexcapade with Blaine. I’m reluctant to call Peyton a straight-up cock-tease, but, you know. Say no to cock-teasing.

I found Liv’s little “Blaine is the drug dude” revelation to close out the episode didn’t really hit me very hard. I suppose I thought Liv might have already known that? I don’t know.

Steven’s idea to kill Internet trolls, while adorable, is pretty retarded. I suspect he was just looking for an excuse to kill somebody to get Major back in line, but it’s still super weird.

What happened to the SuperMax subplot?

Oh, and there’s a minor subplot with Liv where, as an Instagramming, Tweet-whoring Internet addict, she researches Drake online and eventually finds out he went to prison. She tries dumping him, but he explains that it was for assaulting one of his mum’s abusive boyfriends. With so much packed into this episode already, I don’t think we needed to bother developing Liv’s obviously doomed romance with a bag of meat.


But it’s not all bad:

This subplot does provide one of the better gags of the episode. After Liv and Drake’s talk, he suddenly gets a message that he has to go help his mum with some plumbing thing. Liv insists on joining him to try to catch him in a lie, but it turns out he is indeed going to help his mum with a plumbing thing. His mum is a sassy broad, and she even gives Liv a horrible makeover. It was cute.

I wouldn’t say there was a highlight of the episode, simply because everybody works so well together that the whole endeavour is a highlight unto itself. After a rocky path of low-energy filler, this was exactly what iZombie needed to kick things back into gear.

Blaine reminds us why his manipulations have been so successful, as he again displays his knack for making shit come together. He blackmails a journalist (Ken Tanaka from Glee. The good days of Glee, that is) into front-paging the story about how Mr Boss ordered the hit on DA for the recent raids. The best part of this is that the story is true: Blaine just needed the journalist to fudge the details to get it to run. And as a result, Peyton is retained by the mayor to truly lead the taskforce to crush Mr Boss. Which is exactly what Blaine wants.

On the flip side, Blaine is also pissed on by fate when he runs into Mr Boss at his funeral home. Mr Boss is good with faces, and he recognises Blaine as that old dealer of his who vanished after the boat party with a lot of unsold product. With interest, Mr Boss says Blaine owes him $80,000. And now he knows where Blaine is, he’s going to send people to collect. Burn.

Major’s spanking from Steven over the DA is, like I said, super weird. But also super menacing. Even Gilda seems perturbed by Steven’s plans to kill Internet trolls.

Major’s solution isn’t anything too genius, but it works. He convinces DA to pose for a photo where it looks like Major has killed him, then he also gets DA to give him what he needs to fake a bridge jump suicide so that the police will close his abduction case. Practical.

Against the more fun players, Liv is a bit weak. But I’ll give her points for noticing that DA is a zombie from his stockpile of hot sauce.

And the girl power team up with Peyton to show Blaine that they’re onto his shit is cute.

Mr Boss shows a mildly sympathetic side when he’s told that one of the three dead men is his nephew. He seems genuinely taken aback by the news, and somber at the funeral.

Oh, and Steven’s anti-hater crusade had me like:

iZombie Physician, Heal Thy Selfie Gilda Major

It’s a good thing I don’t value my life.

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About ijusthateeverything

Sincerity is death.

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  1. iZombie Season 2 Episode 13 – TV Review | I Just Hate Everything - February 24, 2016

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