Pretty Little Liars Season 6 Episode 14 – TV Review

PLL New Guys, New Lies Ashley

If PLL keeps giving them to me, I’m going to keep doing them.

In this episode, B makes a bold claim about how, unlike A, they don’t hide in the shadows, bitch. They’re out here in the open and they’re comin’ to get you.

So, naturally, their approach is to hide in the shadows and send ominous text messages and literally wear a mask.

Brave.

TL;DR B floats around ineffectually; the surveillance footage coverup drags in Ashley; Byron firms as a new suspect in Cece’s murder; Toby has a new girlfriend who is super not like Spencer at all totes for reals; Emily blows her budding romance with coffee shop manager girl.

She wasn’t hot enough for Emily, anyway. And Emily only dates girls on the swim team. Duh.

The breakdown is as follows:

Spencer is out in front this episode as Pretty Little Liars continues to pretend that Veronica could become a senator, and Spencer has to do campaign bullshit. Luckily, she has Caleb’s dick to keep her warm. But Toby turns her a cold shoulder because his hang-ups with Spencer could complicate his relationship with new girlfriend Yvonne. Who, naturally, is the daughter of Veronica’s major opponent.

Hanna, proving again she’s the only smart one, confesses her surveillance footage coverup to both Ashley and Jordan. Hotel Radley apparently backs up all its footage off-site, so Jordan and Hanna scrounge up a lawyer to face the cops, but Ashley sneakily goes and steals the backup footage. So phew for now. She better not hide the hard drive in the lasagna box.

A development in the Cece murder case reveals that the murder weapon was a golf club, so Aria gets Emily to distract Sabrina (coffee shop manager) with her tits while Aria breaks into Ezra’s (our lead suspect) apartment, as Ezra is MIA. His set of clubs is in tact, but a suspicious voicemail from Byron to Ezra sends Aria snooping into her dad’s set, and his is missing the offending 9 iron. Oh, dear.

And Emily gets caught in her distraction ploy, and Sabrina gives her the flick.

Alison is still mercifully out of the picture, but the Liars wisely reason that she could possibly be B. It’s fair.

This episode isn’t as breezy as last week’s, but PLL is still yet to entirely fall into the abyss.

It’s teetering on the fucking edge, though.

 

Why I hate this episode:

After Hanna did so well to come clean about the surveillance footage and Jordan flew in a lawyer to help her admission to the police, the PLL crew have to immediately sully that with Ashley’s theft of the backup drive from the security company’s offsite facility. For fuck’s sake. I admire her commitment to her daughter, but she is going to get caught. And Ashley is one of the only characters who isn’t a trash fire left on this show, so that won’t make me happy.

All the slimy bullshit between Ezra and Byron is so exhausting. That drama only exists because the people in this universe never elaborate or say what they mean when they communicate with each other. The only way this could be redeemed was if Ezra and/or Byron did kill Cece. But six and a half seasons of PLL has taught me that there’s no way that’s going to be the case. I’m not invested in this because I have no expectation that it’ll pay off.

Aria has a flashback of Byron and Ella arguing about Cece. Ella went to visit her in the mental hospital at some point and bought the doctors’ evaluation that Cece could be getting well enough for release. Fuck you, Ella. Byron is made out to be the bad guy because he doesn’t want that homicidal maniac out. Jesus.

Yvonne is such a bland photocopy of Spencer (with the brightness setting turned down). I don’t care about her. And nobody cares about Toby if he’s not with Spencer, so no, thanks.

Spencer is also super fucking jealous that Toby is intending to propose to Yvonne. Because obviously. How tiring.

Hanna and Jordan ram home how little chemistry they have.

Jordan is oddly unfazed by Hanna’s admission of “I committed a crime to protect my friends, one of whom we believe is a murderer.” I don’t think the show is trying to set him up as a suspect. I just think it’s a collision of bad writing and bad acting.

Oh, and I must reiterate how hypocritical B’s assertion of “I don’t lurk in the shadows, I hide in plain sight” is. The connotation (if the A outfit literally in a bin wasn’t clear enough) is that they do things differently than A. Which I guess is why they put stuff in a storage locker, like A; use anonymous text messages, like A; use cell tower/IP address trickery, like A (do they have a Carrissimi Group to call their own, too?); and wear a mask, like A. Except their mask isn’t a creepy Alison thing. No, theirs is an old man mask that they wear in public and nobody notices that it’s obviously not a real face. I can see PLL sliding back into holographic projection screen spaceship secret room territory, again.

 

But it’s not all bad:

When B was searching the Internet for uniforms, it turns out they actually did mean uniforms, as we see B (in old man mask) in a postman and a bellboy uniform this episode. I got a laugh out of it.

Hanna is the best thing about the episode. Her admissions to Ashley and Jordan show she might have learned something from her time of being a Pretty Little Liar. And she gets lucky that the backup footage is stolen right before she makes her admission to Lorenzo. It’s nice to see Hanna being rewarded for her decency.

Spencer and Caleb totally had sex. Although they face jealousy from Toby and Hanna, I think they’ve got a shot at keeping the fling going for a while. At least until Hanna realises that her fiancè is a barely-sentient block of Australian wood and wants Caleb back.

I’m hoping that Sabrina sticks to her fucking off of Emily. She was bland and not that hot.

Veronica’s senatorial campaign opponent is also a woman. Girl power!

Points to Byron for shutting down Ella’s “I feel bad for the girl who ruined our daughter’s life for years and tried to blow her up” garbage. There are some bonus points on the table if it turns out you’re the murderer, too, Byron.

Sara has apparently been holed up in her Hotel Radley room for days, and is refusing any staff to enter. Best case scenario is that she’s killed herself and the Liars will realise it when she starts stinking up the place.

Oh, and Spencer’s reappearance spooks Toby out of his intended proposal to Yvonne. Add Toby’s torn loyalties to the tension between Spencer and Yvonne at the campaign event, and I can feel a cat fight brewing.

PLL New Guys, New Lies Toby Yvonne

Caleb can do hacker stuff. What’s Toby good for? Building a house that B will likely blow up, anyway?

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About ijusthateeverything

Sincerity is death.

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