Pretty Little Liars Season 6 Episode 13 – TV Review

PLL The Gloves Are On Lucas

There seems to be a lot of that going around lately.

Lucas’ unnecessary return aside, I’m glad to say this is actually an engaging episode of Pretty Little Liars.

The soap suds are thick, as expected, but they don’t get in the way of the actual plot.

So I suppose this is our final hope spot before it all comes tumbling down.

TL;DR Ezra doesn’t admit to killing Cece, but he doesn’t deny it, either; Hanna ropes Lucas into providing a false alibi for the girls now that the police know the surveillance footage has been tampered with; Emily doesn’t have cancer; Spencer and Caleb hook up; there is no Alison this episode, which likely explains why it wasn’t so awful.

I’d call for a boycott of Alison, but I’d need to raise two insane children and ruin the first season of a Batman themed police procedural first to qualify.

So let’s see what the Liars of Pretty Little Liars are up to:

I’ll give Aria the plot edge this episode, as suspicions whirl around Ezra as Cece’s murderer. This comes to a head when the Liars straight-up accuse him, and although he doesn’t admit it, his evasion and rage don’t help his cause. Aria also starts ghostwriting Ezra’s second book (the one he started before Aussie Chick disappeared) to appease her boss. Because she’s the queen of integrity.

Spencer puts on a brave face for campaign stuff, but all that nonsense thankfully takes a back seat to her budding romance with Caleb. Melissa notices, and even Hanna gives Spencer her blessing, so she and Caleb get busy near the end of the episode. I can dig it.

Hanna wrings her hands over deleting the surveillance footage, which, in a rare display of Rosewood PD competence, Detective Lorenzo discovers. With no alibi, she propositions an in-town Lucas (he’s rich now. Because all nerds become uber rich five years after high school, right?) to lie to the police for her and the other girls. Which he does.

And Emily is caught by Hanna with a syringe. It turns out she’s been getting hormone treatment because she’s donating her eggs to make some money. Pam also finds out about her college lies, but she doesn’t stay mad for long.

And the episode ends with a new taunt text from our replacement A, who signs their message with a devil skull icon. So, until PLL names them, I’m still calling them B.

Could it be that Ezra killed Cece? I mean, on the one hand, he is Ezra, our resident pussy-whipped pussy. But on the other hand, he did have that secret base in Ravenswood and obsessively monitor the girls for years for no adequate reason. So I’m still considering it as a possibility.

In a perfect world, it would turn out that Alison killed Cece, and her suspicion-mongering was just her returning to her delicious, evil ways.

But “perfect world” is not a thing we can associate with PLL anymore.

 

Why I hate this episode:

Ezra’s inability to simply say “I didn’t kill Cece you crazy chicas” is typical soap opera obtuseness, and I’m sick of it. I’m not at all surprised by it, but this kind of exact words stuff usually isn’t for when four of your closest acquaintances are accusing you of murder. I think that’s the time when a quick “I didn’t tho” would be all you’d need, Ezra.

The other wheel of stupidity that’s still spinning is the surveillance footage kerfuffle. Now Hanna has to rope in Lucas to pile up even more lies to keep her alibi, which that footage would have proven, afloat. Yes, the footage would have made things look bad for Aria and Ezra. But the Liars actually think that Ezra did it. So fucking dob him in, and if you’re right, then Aria will be fine, anyway. Jesus.

Ashley could also be collateral damage to all this, too. Which I cannot abide.

The reveal that Emily is merely prepping for an egg donation is pretty weak. I don’t think it’s all that shameful, right? Like Emily says, she needs the money, and she’s providing the gift of life to a couple in need. Emily could be ashamed that she blew all of her inheritance, but if Pam was (eventually) cool with you dumping college, I’m sure she can handle that, too.

Pam opened Emily’s mail. That’s illegal, baby.

Sara spends the episode skulking around. Why is she still here? Go home.

To add to that, Spencer tells Caleb about the night from the mid-season finale, and why the Liars are apparently all on egg shells around Sara: after Emily punched Sara out, Sara accidentally grabbed onto some live wires, which is why her hands are all fucked up. The Liars feel bad for not helping her. But, like, she was trying to blow you up with a bomb, and you couldn’t have helped her because she was touching live wires. What were you supposed to do? Shut up.

Aria’s ghostwriting of Ezra’s book is supposed to come off as her helping Ezra. But I know it’s just her living out her dreams of being a published author. I dread her martyrdom when Ezra finds out and bitches at her for it.

Spencer finds out that Mona, having been rebuffed by Veronica, is now working with Veronica’s senatorial campaign opponent. Who fucking cares?

Oh, and during the meeting in the Accusing Parlour, Aria, before the other Liars get there, offers to help Ezra cover up his murder of Cece. Because, again, these people have learned nothing about lying and lying and lying and lying.

 

But it’s not all bad:

If Ezra was indeed the murderer and had any sense, then he would simply murder the Liars (and Alison, just to be safe) and leave town triumphant. I’d appreciate it, at least.

The highlight of the episode is the developing relationship between Spencer and Caleb. The best line of the episode comes from an observant Melissa, who is bitchy but accurate when refuting Spencer’s protests of innocence: “Really? Because I know how you like to shop out of other people’s carts.” She shopped out of Melissa’s twice.

When Hanna catches wind, she’s obligatorily torn, but quickly puts on her I’m A Big Girl With A New Fiancè And Logically Should Have No Objection pants and proves she’s a big girl and has no objection. Who would have thought that in the final seasons of PLL, Hanna would be the smart one?

And, to seal the deal, Spencer and Caleb’s kiss and make out later is actually quite nice. And a little bit hot. They’re no Klaus and Camille, but Caleb has reformed himself from his wet lettuce Ravenswood days, so I’ll give Spencer a thumbs up for getting on that.

Emily’s fight with Pam is short, but bright. Because Emily did totally make terrible decisions and ruin herself.

Lucas is obviously still holding a candle for Hanna. And given the absence of chemistry between her and Jordan, and that Caleb is now occupied, he could be in with a chance, no?

The stinger shows B in a lair. They throw the ol’ A hoodie in the bin, and go online shopping for a new outfit. Chic.

Ashley refuses to serve Ezra alcohol at the hotel because of a past incident when he didn’t behave himself. Sounds like my kind of drinking buddy.

Oh, and Ezra’s enraged reaction to the Liars’ chorus of accusation is surprising, and warranted. It’s about time someone on the show yelled at these bitches to get out. It’s what the the rest of us have been doing for the past three seasons.

PLL The Gloves Are On Emily Hanna Spencer

Being the shortest and the only blonde has its visual design perks.

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About ijusthateeverything

Sincerity is death.

4 responses to “Pretty Little Liars Season 6 Episode 13 – TV Review”

  1. Anonymous says :

    I’m surprised none of them were bitchy enough to sell Ezra out after he yelled at them with them supposedly desperate to return to their lives. They would of never have made it on Gossip Girl.

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