Pretty Little Liars Season 6 Episode 11 – TV Review

PLL Of Late I Think of Rosewood funeral

You, too, Sasha.

Did you think revealing and imprisoning A would be the end of all this intolerable conspiracy drama, or at least Cece?

Well that’s a double “no” for you, baby.

TL;DR There’s a new shadowy threat to our now-adult liars, and Cece is still stinking up the place; until she dies; Alison has gone from bitchy badass mastermind to simpering family woman; Aria is the only one of the Liars to tell the truth at a court hearing.

Way to pull out the win, Aria. I didn’t know she had it in her.

So Alison has completed her transformation into pathetic pile of melodramatic sludge, and after five years of getting to know her sister Charlotte (but I will still be calling her Cece. Because I don’t respect the character), summons the Liars back to Rosewood to force them to tell the court that sure, they don’t mind having someone who ruined their lives for years and literally tried to kill them back out on the streets. They grudgingly go along with it (except for Aria, who chokes at the last second. But it doesn’t matter), and Cece is released. And then promptly murdered. I mean, yay for getting rid of Cece, but boo for the new evil lurking in the shadows. What will we call them this time? B? Meanwhile, the Liars have gone through transformations of their own: Aria is now a publishing agent or something, and she reconnects with Ezra who is spiralling into depression after Aussie Chick was murdered while in South America; Hanna broke up with Caleb and is now a jet-setting fashion girl (designer?) with a new fiancee; Spencer works in politics or something; and Emily dropped out of college, which she didn’t like, anyway, when her dad died. They are sequestered in Rosewood following Cece’s murder. Elsewhere, Radley has been refurbished into a swanky hotel, which Ashley manages; Veronica is running for state senate; and Mona is keenly determined to keep Cece in prison. So I don’t think she’ll be too upset that she’s been murdered.

Did Mona do it? Does anyone care?

I never expected Glee to ever fix itself, but there was always a little part of me, somewhere squashed between the morbid obesity and alcoholism, that Glee would return to its triumphant, former self. And it didn’t.

Similarly, with A finally revealed and supposedly put to bed last year on PLL, I harboured the tiniest of glimmers of hope for the rejuvenation of this once good (not great, but definitely good) silly soap opera.

And again, I was denied. Without the A crap to at least keep things happening, now PLL is just the lifeless hack soap that it always was under the surface.

For now, I can only cross my fingers that B quickly rises to the challenge of being the biggest, dumbest, most dangerous villain yet. Because without that, we can now see that Pretty Little Liars has absolutely nothing to offer.

Except some fabulous new haircuts.

 

Why I hate this episode:

And they’re really going to get another whole season on top of this back half of season 6? What the actual fuck are they going to do the whole time?

How are they going to keep the Liars in Rosewood? Detective Lorenzo says they’ll need to stay around for a few days while Cece’s murder investigation is underway, but they’ll need to stick around a whole lot longer if we’ve got a season and a half to prop up.

The major plot of the episode hinges on Alison’s invitation to the Liars to give their positive statement to the court to ensure Cece’s release. A quick “Um, no, cunt”  from the Liars could have saved us a lot of time. Because “Um, no, cunt” was exactly what they should have said.

Extra insult is added when Aria is the only one of the four to renege and tell the court the truth: that no, she wouldn’t feel safe with a murder/kidnapper palling around town. And Mona, apparently all prepared to sabotage Cece as much as possible, flips in the other direction and says Cece deserves another chance. Um, no, cunt.

Veronica Hastings is running for state senate? With the fucking skeletons she has in her closet? No, honey. No no no no no.

I don’t care about Ezra’s shell shock from the attack from militia or whatever that led to Aussie Chick’s death and his return to Rosewood. PLL has enough garbage clogging up every plotline. We don’t need South American freedom fighter PTSD angst.

There’s some doctor boy from the mental hospital that Alison has a flirtation going on with. He is not cute. Which is surprising, given that the boys on this show are generally cute.

I don’t care that Spencer and Mona have some political rivalry thing going on. Really, PLL?

Oh, and number one on the “Please, fuck, don’t bring that shit back” list is Sara. So guess who’s back?

 

But it’s not all bad:

Sara is still institutionalised or in prison or something, so I doubt she’s B. Maybe she was only there for the funeral and now we won’t have to see her again? Please?

Ashley, as is her style, is the most sensible person in the episode. She is vehemently opposed to Cece’s release. Because duh.

As was Jason, according to Alison. See? Ashley and Jason really do belong together.

At least Cece is dead already. Although, bits from that special episode they aired showed scenes with Cece in the mental hospital, so we’ll likely have to endure her in flashback form for a while yet.

I’ll gift Aria with this episode’s best line honours, with this simple declaration during her court statement choke: “I don’t want Charlotte released. Ever.” Yep.

Also, trust Aria to be the only one to fucking choke. She’s reliable.

Caleb and Hanna still care about each other, despite their breakup and Hanna’s engagement. So that’s nice.

Spencer seems to have a solid friendship with Caleb, and he mentions that he’s considering working for her company. The generous side of me would like to believe that this means they’re just good pals, but the side of me that’s watched a teen soap before expects an impending romantic interest. Either way, I’m down with it.

Toby and Emily are also good buds, which is nice to see. It’s something PLL hasn’t erased from the earlier seasons.

Oh, and the Liars get drunk together after the court hearing. Which is fine, because they’ve over twenty-one now. Another few time jumps, and Troian might actually be playing a character remotely close to her real life age.

PLL Of Late I Think of Rosewood Spencer hungover

But it’s, like, a soft thirty.

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About ijusthateeverything

Sincerity is death.

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