Blood & Oil Season 1 Episode 10 – TV Review

Blood & Oil Departures Amber Don finale

It’s what we all wanted. For Amber, at least.

Blood & Oil’s over, and nobody will cry for it.

At least they got to wrap everyone’s subplots up.

However unearned and improbable those wrap-ups may be.

TL;DR Chace finally wins a business plan in which he partners with a suddenly magnanimous Don; JD Pardo fails to break up Chace and Cody; Coyote Ugly and Wick end up rich and pregnant ever after; AJ gets his son back; and he gets Lacey; Don never faces any consequences for his villainy.

Maybe that’s because he was never much of a villain?

So, the plot stinks of several episodes’ worth of arc crammed into a rushed finale, but at least it gets more time to play its final song than poor Pushing Daisies. Remember that final episode? Yeesh. The major plot concerns the Chief’s fussing over who will get the mineral rights to her oil-rich land: Don’s team, or Chace’s team. JD, who it turns out wants Cody after all, finds out Cody has given Chace an ultimatum to either leave Rock Springs with her now, or lose her forever. So he offers Chace the deal to break them up. Because this is a soap opera, remember. Chace fusses over which is more important: becoming a literal trillionaire, or meeting Cody for an arbitrary deadline. He eventually chooses both, is enabled by Don’s bizarre sudden altruism, and finds out you really can have it all. Meanwhile, the Saudis show up in town with AJ’s son or something. The son is recovered, but a Saudi agent attacks Lacey at home because they want that stolen geological survey. Chace unsuccessfully intervenes before Delroy is summoned by the script to finish that singular agent off, and therefore close the book on all Saudi interest in McCutching forever. Meanwhile, Coyote Ugly gets DNA results that indicate Don is the father of her baby. Amber finds out and offers her a boatload of money to fuck off outta town and never tell him. Coyote Ugly later finds out that, actually, Wick is the father, so she sneakily accepts Amber’s deal, reconciles with Wick, and they leave for their ill-gotten happily ever after. The episode, and series, ends as Amber and Don look out over their swelling McCutching land drilling operation.

Take that, Chace and Cody.

Really, what more is there to say about Blood & Oil? It was a pathetic excuse for a Revenge successor. Even a Revenge Season 2 successor.

It criminally underused Amber Valletta the whole time.

And, despite the final shot of the series, way too much time was wasted on Chace and Cody, who never evolved beyond one-dimensional boobs.

Try harder next time, ABC. And take Amber off the fucking bench.

 

Why I hate this episode:

The A-plot this episode is the random ultimatum from Cody that Chace meet her at the bar at midnight so they can leave town together, or she’s leaving without him. On its own, it’s not a bad idea. But when Chace is aware he’s a dotted line away from being, and I can’t stress this enough, a trillionaire, there’s really no choice. Worst case scenario is you let Cody drive back to Florida or whatever, and then go see her in a week when you fly down in your private jet. She’s not going to give a fuck that you let her roll away. She still loves you, and now you’re one of the richest men in the world. Who’s going to turn down that over some failed, dumb ultimatum?

JD also flies through his villain arc at record speed. It’s cartoony.

Conversely, Don flips between tones this episode before ending up in hero territory. He has the opportunity to totally screw Chace over in the McCutching deal, but allows for Chace to be a partner in it regardless of whether he stays in Rock Springs or not (the original clause commanded that Chace not leave town, otherwise the offer would be void). Just out of the goodness of his heart? I know that the Chief, having discovered JD’s bullshit, amends the deal. But Don could surely have talked her around it.

I doubt that goodness because minutes before that heartwarming little revelation, he’s pulling a gun in Wick’s face as retribution for Wick holding a gun in his face in the premiere. What the fuck, dude?

The resolution of the Saudi plot is weird. Delroy takes out one little goon and now the Saudis are gonna back off the most lucrative oil field in the US?

The sudden action to find AJ’s son also serves as a reminder that Don and Lacey weren’t much bothered with helping AJ rescue his kidnapped son this whole time until now. Arseholes.

Speaking of arseholes, Coyote Ugly pulls the ultimate cunt move on Amber when she accepts the offer after privately discovering that Don isn’t the father of her bastard bun after all. Oh, well. Amber is now a part trillionaire, so ooh, stick you, Coyote.

Oh, and literally nobody gets an unhappy ending. Not Don, the manipulative oil baron who uses everyone in his life and is such a bad father (admittedly. As in, he admits it this episode) that he drove his son to almost murder him; not said near-murderous son, Wick; not Coyote Ugly, the filthy skank who banged a father and son, didn’t know which one was the father of her surprise baby, and then stole money from the scorned wife of one of her cash dildos; and not Chace, who threw away becoming a millionaire in the first episode to pursue his “dreams” of being even more rich. Revenge may have copped out with Victoria’s “I’ve been dead inside all along so my death is uneventful” shit, but at least it had the balls to kill her in its finale.

 

But it’s not all bad:

By virtue of being so heavily benched, Amber never materialised as a villain. So her happy ending doesn’t feel like a slap in the face. Snaps for Amber.

JD Pardo’s leap into villainy may have been rushed, but his character was the kind of handsome, slimy bastard Blood & Oil needed more of. He tried.

His plan to force Chace to default on Cody’s ultimatum by offering him trillions of dollars is wonderfully cruel, too.

I’m glad the show didn’t totally forget about AJ’s son, even if Lacey and Don did.

Peyton and Annie, as barely satellite characters, don’t get highlighted endings. But they do end up on the dotted line for the McCutching deal, so that’s nice.

And I’m glad Annie didn’t get back together with Don. Amber may be dating down, but it certainly worked out for her financially. And, somewhere in me where there’s goodness left, I’d like to believe that Don and Amber really do love each other.

As slapdash as the deal to keep Chace in the money regardless of his residency in Rock Springs was, my heart warmed just a little when Santa Claus Don told him about it, and then offered to help catch up to Cody.

Oh, and Don blames his bad parenting for Wick’s oil theft, and he and Wick make up. Aww. But not before Don almost murders him. Which is like a hug for the Briggs family.

Blood & Oil Departures Don gun Wick

“Jk rofl lol ily.”

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About ijusthateeverything

Sincerity is death.

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