The Originals Season 3 Episode 5 – TV Review

The Originals The Axeman's Letter Camille arrested

Like being a serial killer?

Camille’s subplot isn’t that important this episode. But holy Jesus, she looks good.

Can you believe Klaus spends the episode reminiscing about his lost love for busted-ass Aurora?

Blech.

TL;DR Aurora and Klaus bitch at each other about their ruined relationship of old; Davina works to impress the witches during some festival or whatever; Camille is arrested for the Glasgow smile serial killings; Elijah and Marcel discover Lucien and Tristan could be allied in some larger scheme; flashbacks show how Elijah kind of ruined Klaus’ relationship with Aurora.

Nothing worth crying over, really.

So the bulk of the episode is laboriously devoted to Klaus and Aurora’s apparently epic tryst back in Reign times. They were super dooper in love, and she wanted him to sire her. She claimed that the hell of living as a rich noble with a kind-of mean brother (but who isn’t mean to you) is equal to the torment of vampirism, so why not, right? Klaus denied her, but she managed to weasel it out of Rebekah by staging a suicide. Typical white girl. But then the Originals’ cover was blown, and in the panic to flee the castle, Elijah accidentally compelled Aurora to break Klaus’ heart so he would get moving. Back in the present, Klaus claims that Aurora’s savage dumping is the reason for his Start of Darkness, and he vows horrible retribution on an exasperated Elijah (who, to be a little fair, did conceal the truth from Klaus all this time). Boo. Meanwhile, Davina blackmails Hayley and Jackson (also boo) to be her bodyguards during some witch festival. That swishy witch whose mother Davina had killed tries to prank Davina, but Hayley and Jackson foil him. Hayley advises Davina to just be herself with the witches to get them to trust her. Because “be yourself” is the answer to everything, right? Meanwhile, Elijah calls on Marcel to help him look into Tristan, and they find out Tristan and Lucien have been secretly meeting. Ooh. And Camille stalks Lucien in her ongoing Glasgow smile killer investigation. Lucien dumps a fresh body in her lap, and the coincidence of Camille “my family are sometimes spree killers” O’Connell finding another body is too much for Jason Dohring to ignore, and he arrests her.

When’s her conjugal visit from Klaus?

It’s a shame that the smaller subplots this episode are so intriguing. Because it just makes the major plots (Klaus/Aurora, Davina) more tedious by comparison.

Can you imagine a Camille-only bottle episode?

Think of the money you could save, CW.

 

Why I hate this episode:

Aurora is nowhere near good enough to be the epic love for Klaus that The Originals wants us to believe she is. Actress Rebecca Breeds is Home and Away scum, and the PLL cred isn’t something to be proud of, either. She isn’t even impressive as a Klaus love interest from the TVD-verse. Caroline, Hayley, and Camille shit all over her. Hell, even “you’ve seen me, what, twice?” Tatia is more believable. The Originals made a poor decision to so massively elevate Aurora’s importance so bloody quickly.

The laughably stupid consequence of this presents itself in Klaus’ fight with Elijah at the end of the episode. Klaus claims that Aurora’s compulsion-induced dumping is what tore his heart asunder and set him off to become a murderous supervillain of legend. He was particularly upset that she revealed the secret he told her about how he killed his mum. Klaus, baby, I’m pretty sure Mikael and Esther had your emotional and psychological destruction locked down way before you met Aurora. This show is out of its mind if it thinks it can convince us that Aurora’s dumping and insults are the reason Klaus is how he is. Just a couple of episodes ago it was telling us that parental strife was the cause of his maladjustment. Keep on message, show.

Klaus and Elijah’s impending war is therefore built on a foundation of one lousy brunette. And Elijah didn’t even know what compulsion was when he compelled her. Let it go, Klaus.

Davina’s plot is just pointless busy work to give her, Hayley, and Jackson their obligatory screentime. Which is evident in the “be yourself” conclusion to the whole thing. And that Davina is just like “Oh, btw, I’ve lifted the Crescent curse.”

Swishy witch boy’s plan isn’t very ambitious. It looks like he’s trying to use a voodoo doll to injure/kill Davina, but he actually just wanted to spell her into telling the truth about the massacre. What happened to the witches of New Orleans? You guys didn’t used to be cool, but you were sure as shit a lot more homicidal. Where’s the spunk?

Jason Dohring has done a huge turnaround regarding his suspicions of Camille. If it isn’t because of compulsion from Lucien or Tristan, I’ll be disappointed.

There are mentions of the Axeman. I know that’s a real New Orleans thing, but it reminds me of the third season of American Horror Story.

Oh, and after flashback Aurora confesses to Klaus the pain of being the cause of her mother’s death (she died in childbirth), Klaus responds by telling about how he literally murdered his mum. He’s a fucking anecdote one-upper, which is the worst kind of person.

 

But it’s not all bad:

His point about how his thing is more horrible than her thing is right, though.

The are two upsides of the Reign flashbacks, the first of which is Claire Holt’s reappearance as Rebekah. I can feel her inching ever closer to returning as Rebekah in the present plot. And hopefully with some worthwhile plotlines this time.

The other upside is we get to see what a useless gash Aurora is. From her shallow romance with Klaus, to her whining about the woes of her privileged life, to the wrist-slitting to force Rebekah to feed her vampire blood. The crowning moment of “really, Klaus? Her?” is when she then jumps to her death from a window. Oh, the tragicomedy.

Klaus also cries again. And while I don’t appreciate how frequent his tears are becoming (who does he think he is? Viola Davis in How To Get Away With Murder?), he still looks achingly hot with wet cheeks. Maybe even more than Elijah.

Elijah doesn’t get to do a lot this episode, but the revelation that Tristan and Lucien have been secretly meeting is pretty juicy. I don’t know what kind of scheme they could be cooking up against the Originals, because if it’s anything fatal (and the constant mentions of a weapon would suggest it is), then they’d have to worry about the sire line business. Maybe they’ve found a way to eradicate the sire line genocide effect of an Original’s death?

The unintentional compulsion scene with Elijah and Aurora is pretty cool. Poor Elijah.

Vincent is in this episode, but he is thankfully relegated to third tier supporting character. He’s essentially just a sounding board for Camille. Camille does show him her closet of magical artifacts when Vincent bemoans his hesitation to perform magic, but his need to still use it. Which is where Jason Dohring finds them when he arrests Camille. I’m sure a secret stash of torture devices isn’t great for trying to prove you’re not a serial killer.

Oh, and Hayley gets the best line of the episode when expressing the audience’s level of interest in what Davina’s doing: “Happy witch day. Or whatever this is.” Yep.

The Originals The Axeman's Letter Davina scarf

That’s what happens when you gladly serve up a witch massacre earlier, and then yuck at animal sacrifice later.

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About ijusthateeverything

Sincerity is death.

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