Blood & Oil Season 1 Episode 5 – TV Review

Blood & Oil Rocks and Hard Places Cody bashed

And, if we’re lucky, a fix to that little pregnancy problem.

Considering the utter banality of Blood & Oil, I was considering dumping this weak excuse for a Revenge successor.

But with the recent news that the season order had been cut down to only ten episodes (and, presumably, will be cancelled after that), I’ve decided I’ll keep hanging on.

Maybe they’ll finally unleash Amber Valletta before the season is up?

TL;DR Chace gets, I can’t believe I’m typing this, another radical business idea; he and Cody find out about Don and Coyote Ugly’s affair; Chace and Cody fight about how/if the info can be used; Delroy and Don start closing in on Wick for the oil theft; Psycho Partner manages to wriggle free for now.

The poor guy just can’t seem to get out of town.

So it’s another episode, which means it’s time for Chace to try burning all his money on yet another crazy business idea. He wants to start a business that leases tankers and equipment, but the ABC gods finally smile upon us, and Clifton rebuffs him. Clifton also has a non-fatal heart attack, but it hardly matters. Meanwhile, Cody stumbles upon enough clues to deduce that Coyote Ugly is secretly fucking Don. She tells Chace, who unsurprisingly tries to blackmail Don. Again, he fails. Cody and Coyote Ugly aren’t too happy about that, either. Meanwhile, Lacey and Wick go out to do Briggs business stuff. Wick tries to throw his weight around to mark his territory and royally fucks up, but Lacey covers for him when Don finds out. Wick is grateful, but Don knows what’s up, and makes Lacey aware that Wick won’t have a place at the company in the near future. This is likely motivated by Don’s solidifying theory that Wick is the one who perpetrated the oil theft. Delroy shares the same suspicions, and Wick, desperate to get rid of a still-lingering Psycho Partner (he fucking crashed his car on the way out of town, then came back for more money. Seriously, dude?), rolls over on the guy offers himself as a mole for a sting. It goes awry, and the episode ends as Psycho Partner, in need of quick cash, robs the pharmacy while Cody’s closing up, and stomps her after she sees his face.

The African couple also get some token subplots that mean nothing to anyone. If you’re not gonna jump on Finn’s dick, Wife, then I’m not interested.

I’m encouraged by the double non-start of Chace’s schemes this episode. Maybe the tide of logic is finally turning back to near-reality?

But with Psycho Partner still rolling around, Lacey’s decision to stay, and the infuriating insistence that Amber Valletta stay benched, Blood & Oil seems to be proud of how fucking glacial it is.

I was worried after the pilot that it was burning through plotlines too fast. And it is. But if those plotlines are burnt without any tangible repercussions, then we’re not making any ground.

 

Why I hate this episode:

After spoiling their finances every single episode, Cody finally takes Chace to task on the fact that he tried to blackmail Don about the affair? Because she’s friends with Coyote Ugly? For fuck’s sake, Cody. Who do you think you are? Caroline from TVD? Because you bitches both need to bloody prioritise.

Chace’s ungratefulness for financial good luck has rubbed off on African Husband, whose subplot is about how he’s squandered everything the food truck has earned on gambling at a nearby casino. Good God, man. What the hell is wrong with the people in this town? Did ABC know that Blood & Oil would have its order cut, and so pushed for every stupid soap opera cliché to be chucked in right fucking now?

Finn’s solution to this problem is to start selling drugs from the food truck. I’d say that’s a really bad idea, but Delroy doesn’t seem to be the most competent law enforcer. So maybe it’ll work.

African Wife’s subplot is that she wants Finn’s dick, but she turns him down because she doesn’t want to be unfaithful. When she finds out about the gambling debts, can she jump on, then?

I can’t believe I’m going to say it, but I kind of wish they’d bring back that Native American racial tension that was dangled in the pilot. I said back then that I thought it would unnecessarily muddy the soap operatics, but they’re so dull that a little racism might actually spice things up.

Don shares his suspicions about Wick and the oil theft with Amber, and she surprisingly discourages him from pursuing it. What?

When the sting goes bad due to faulty listening equipment, Delroy and his deputy just sit casually back while an injured, on-foot Psycho Partner skulks away. What?

Oh, and Clifton’s heart attack is just an excuse to keep Peyton List away from the action this episode. Because Blood & Oil is proudly determined to keep all its decent female characters on the bench, baby. Because it gives Cody more time to shine.

 

But it’s not all bad:

Clifton turns down Chace’s rig and equipment hire business proposal. Thank God.

Chace’s other attempt, the blackmailing of Don, goes spectacularly poorly. He thinks he’s got Don over a barrel, and boldly demands his 5% stake in McCuthing in a seven figure cash sum right now. Don calls his bluff and invites Amber into the room. Chace is, to nobody’s surprise, too much of a pussy to tell her. Fuck you, Chace.

Amber isn’t a totally oblivious, though, and she reads the situation enough to later demand that Don tell her who he’s having an affair with. Her wording indicates that either he’s cheated before, or that Amber, herself, was an other woman at one time (well, he did get together with Amber while kind of on a break with Coyote Ugly, remember?). Don denies it, but I can see the wheels of revenge turning in Amber’s head.

The Lacey/Wick stuff is actually really sweet. Don purposely rubs Wick’s face in the fact that Lacey is staying on to work for Briggs Oil. Wick impetuously tries to bark orders at some rig workers, which leads to a costly delay on the work. Lacey quietly negotiates things, and then credits Wick with fixing problems when Don comes calling. What a cool sibling.

Don is aware of what Lacey did, though, as she has a history of bailing Wick out. His cruel declaration to Lacey that Wick will not work for the company soon has the potential to spur some interesting tension between Wick and Lacey. I hope.

Although, I presume Don is largely motivated to push Wick aside because he’s all but certain that Wick held a gun in his fucking face while stealing his goddamn oil. And, like, he totally did.

Coyote Ugly rebuffs attention from Don this episode. Let’s hope she sticks to it.

Psycho Partner totally wrecks Cody when he robs her at the pharmacy. I don’t think he wanted to, but his balaclava falls off during the robbery, and he panics. ABC isn’t the kind of channel to show a boot sinking into a pregnant woman’s stomach area, but the angles imply all they need to. That pregnancy was dragging Chace and Cody down, anyway.

Cody only works late at the pharmacy to avoid being around Chace. I relish Chace’s impending guilt.

Oh, and Amber and Don do some skeet shooting, and Amber gets to wear some consummate Alpha Rich Bitch attire. She may have no ass, but when you look that WASP-licious, you don’t need it.

Blood & Oil Rocks and Hard Places Amber Valletta Carla

Like she flattened dat ass.

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About ijusthateeverything

Sincerity is death.

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