The Originals Season 3 Episode 3 – TV Review

The Originals I'll See You In Hell Or New Orleans Camille Vincent police station

Save the supernatural police procedural money for iZombie, CW.

It’s flashback episode fever when it comes to CW vampires this week, and now it’s Lucien’s turn.

There are no boot-to-the-stomach abortions in this one, but we do get another juicy Glasgow smile.

I’ll allow it.

TL;DR Lucien wriggles out of serial killer suspect territory with his flashbacks to how Tristan was the real monster; Tristan is indeed in town, so it’s plausible; Hayley wastes another episode mashing face with Jackson; Marcel is a potential recruit for Tristan’s secret organisation or something; Aurora massacres her asylum keepers and sets out for The Big Easy.

The CW’s fetish for Australian actors is admirable. Now Neighbours alumni can do more than just become temporary popstars in their post-soap careers. Poor Stephanie McIntosh.

So it’s time for Camille to really overstep her apparent qualifications, as she and Vincent end up being the ones to interrogate Lucien after Jason Dohring brings him in for questioning. Lucien tells them his tale of Marseilles Court woe: he caught Aurora and Klaus being intimate one night, but his grief over that was shortlived, as Tristan stumbled upon he and Aurora (Klaus had skedaddled, natch), and put Lucien’s body to task in his torture chamber. A sympathetic Klaus force-fed Tristan some of his blood, and that’s how Klaus first discovered its healing properties. Lucien them made another mistake by trying to kill Tristan, and was merely killed himself. But hooray for vampire blood round two, as he later awoke as the first sired vampire. Cool. Lucien claims he only wants to help Klaus protect his loved ones from impending assault from Tristan’s sire line forces. And he may be right, as Tristan has an emissary harass Marcel and his vampires, before Elijah muscles his way in for a meeting with Tristan himself. Unsurprisingly, Tristan cautions Elijah that Lucien could be angling to kill Elijah. Klaus and Elijah form an uneasy understanding to work together from now on, but Elijah still refuses to forgive him. Meanwhile, Hayley and Jackson soak up screentime by having a sparring match at Marcel’s stupid UFC gym thing, and then having blood sex. And Aurora puts her psychopathy to work by dispatching her monk guards and gleefully jumping off the mountaintop on her way to New Orleans.

I like her already.

When we had those Reign-esque flashbacks in this season’s first episode, I was not filled with hope. So many obvious wigs.

But without too many man wigs flapping about, and with a lot more torture porn, I think we might be onto something good here.

It certainly beats that smudge-lensed garbage TVD calls flashbacks.


Why I hate this episode:

Watching Camille and Vincent sit opposite Lucien in the police interrogation room really is laughable. I get that Camille and Vincent only get called in because Lucien compels Jason to do it, but, like, come on. I still appreciate that Camille is getting screentime (Freya seems to have taken over babysitting duty for Hope. No complaints from me on that one), but she has no business fighting crime.

Vincent’s tagging along is completely arbitrary, too. This show already has enough characters being neglected (hello, Marcel). We don’t need you, Vincent.

Speaking of Marcel, in what I imagine is a desperate attempt to give him some purpose, it seems Tristan is interested in recruiting Marcel into his totally-not-the-Volturi vampire organisation. Would that mean Josh would ascend to vampire ruler of New Orleans? God, that’s embarrassing.

Hayley and Jackson are the least valuable players this episode. It’s comforting to see Jackson keeping up that record, but Hayley needs to get away from him ASAP. Hayley is frustrated by parenthood or something, so Jackson takes her to the fight club/gym to work out her frustration. Then she feeds on him at his urging, and they have sex. Nobody cares.

Davina isn’t in this episode. Which means we don’t get to see any more witches get murdered. That’s one of the main draws for watching The Originals, isn’t it?

The “Klaus was secretly seeing Aurora behind Lucien’s back” thing is lame.

Oh, and that clairvoyant witch of Lucien’s is back again to do another reading, this time for Elijah. It doesn’t reveal much. But in the flashbacks, vampirised Lucien and Klaus feed on a girl who I reckon looks a lot like her. I’m not crazy, right? Was that supposed to be her, or was it just a bad casting choice?


But it’s not all bad:

The flashbacks take up a lot of the episode, and I’m glad they did. The little love triangle thing is yawn-worthy, but shit pops off once Tristan gets his torturous hands involved. He makes a compelling case for the prime suspect of the present day serial killings, as we see him viciously give poor shirtless, sweaty Lucien a Glasgow smile of his own. Lucien had to learn it from somewhere, right?

It should also be noted that another serial killing victim turns up while Lucien is in interrogation, so he likely isn’t the killer.

Flashback Tristan compounds his villainy after Klaus and Elijah attempt to intervene in his torturing of Lucien. Tristan reveals that he’s observed suspicious and murderous behaviour from the Original Five (particularly Kol, obv), and is convinced they’re monsters. True to insane form, though, he isn’t going to do anything about it. But he has an insurance policy in place: if he should die, he will send messengers all throughout the land to tip off everyone as to who and what the Original Five are. What a fabulous bitch.

When Lucien thinks he’s an omnipotent vampire following his blood feeding from Klaus, he immediately attacks Tristan. But Tristan has him stabbed to death with extreme prejudice by his guards. I lol’d.

Klaus and Elijah are about to light Lucien’s funeral pyre before Lucien awakes in transition. Aww, what good friends/captors.

The most “aww” moment of the episode comes near the end after Elijah shares Tristan’s suspicions with Klaus. Klaus promises to never kill Elijah, tears straining his eyes. Elijah wordlessly walks out of the room, and it hurts the heart so good.

Tristan’s little Volturi-wannabe setup seems pretty competent. His emissary woman wastes the entirety of Marcel’s vampire band without breaking a sweat. And Tristan shares Elijah’s gentlemanly qualities. As you’d expect.

Josh is back. So there’s that. That swishy witch boy from last episode, as with all the witches, is absent. So we’ll have to wait on their inevitable Meet Cute.

Camille may be totally out of her depth, but she is consistent in her confidence when face-to-face with powerful, supernatural adversaries. Part of Lucien’s pitch for helping Klaus is to protect people Klaus cares about, like Camille. Klaus may have little to fear from Tristan because he’s an Original vampire who can defend himself, but Camille is a squishy human, you know.

I’ll bet Crazy Aurora is going to turn out to be the one with the white oak all along. Tristan and Lucien are too obvious in their finger-pointing at each other.

Oh, and I’ll take a brief stop from the Elijah Hotness Parade and throw a bone Klaus’ way this week.

The Originals I'll See You In Hell Or New Orleans Klaus smile

And the Tom Hardy lips.

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About ijusthateeverything

Sincerity is death.

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