Blood & Oil Season 1 Episode 4 – TV Review

Blood & Oil The Birthday Party Amber Valletta Don Johnson

I’m onto you, ABC.

Yes. Much like Regina in this week’s Once Upon a Time, Amber Valletta is getting sidelined to make way for yet more insane business decisions from Chace.

My enduring adoration for Lydia from Revenge is pretty much the only thing keeping me on the line, Blood & Oil. You need to put Amber on the fucking field, already.

TL;DR Chace teams up with that old guy he bought the land from for another crazy business venture; which fails; Coyote Ugly has trouble choosing between which Briggs man she wants; Delroy is closing in on the truth about the oil theft; AJ is exposed.

For the under duress, caring father that he is. That foreign-sounding name scum.

So the episode is titled “The Birthday Party,” which means Coyote Ugly’s fucking birthday party becomes the centrepiece of the drama. Wick seems to want to get more serious as boyfriend and girlfriend, but she’s still pining away for Don’s grey pubes. Now, I ain’t sayin’ she’s a golddigger. Because she chooses Wick over Don. For now, at least. Meanwhile, Peyton List jumps ship from The CW to appear as Clifton’s (the old guy) geologist granddaughter. Chace manages to convince she and Clifton to throw down the only money Clifton has to his name in an effort to buy more land, but Don poaches the auction from them. Well, they didn’t go broke this time. That’s an improvement. Meanwhile, AJ dickmatises Lacey so he can get access to that survey thing that Don has. Lacey, it seems, is not so easily dickmatised, though, and she sics Don on AJ once she figures out what he’s up to. It turns out AJ is actually Ahmed, and (I think?) a rival company is holding his son hostage to force him to sabotage Briggs Oil. Don is unmoved, though, and blackmails AJ to be his inside man. And Pyscho Partner manages to slip through Delroy’s fingers, but his sights are locked onto Wick as the accomplice.

Lacey also continues to be a cunt to Amber, but that’s hardly news, is it?

Blood & Oil is lucky it looks so expensive on the outside, because underneath all that Amber Valletta and extras budget isn’t much of a soap opera, really.

Would it be too much to ask that we just cut the cord on Chace and Cody right now?

 

Why I hate this episode:

It’s only the fourth episode, and Chace fucking goddamn somehow manages to attempt yet another wildly dangerous business deal. He convinces the previously-prickly Clifton into betting the only $100,000 he has left to his name on some random piece of land at an auction. Predictably, Don’s people notice the interest in the land and quickly snipe the auction. So Chace didn’t lose Clifton’s money, but he’s been bested by Don again. How many more times will it take before you learn?

Amber Valletta gets pushed out of focus this episode, which is just criminal. Her only involvement is to organise Coyote Ugly’s birthday party because Wick, who was supposed to be doing it, is too incompetent. There aren’t even any juicy showdowns or splattered cake between the bitchy oil baroness and the barfly scrag who’s banging her husband. The party goes off without much fanfare, and the only drama is that Coyote Ugly becomes mildly embarrassed due to being around both her sex men.

Lacey was supposed to be leaving to return to university, but gets a thrill out of thwarting AJ and is now considering staying. Not to mention that she’s doing it partly to spite Amber. Just fuck off, you little brat. What happened to school being so important? Nobody wants you here.

Cody does nothing all episode. Not that anybody wants more Cody, though.

Oh, and to pay off Psycho Partner, Wick steals an envelope of money that he overhears Amber telling the maid to give the caterers. I was expecting some kind of fallout where Amber fired the maid after the money mysteriously disappeared, with Wick feeling guilty in the background. But it didn’t happen. Come on, Blood & Oil. If you’re going to be so defiantly basic, at least do it properly.

 

But it’s not all bad:

Psycho Partner isn’t happy about the piddly amount of money Wick expects him to be satisfied with, but I’d like to believe that he will leave town for good. Delroy can keep breathing down Wick’s neck for a little while longer until Psycho Partner turns up again to rat Wick out. That’d work for me.

Psycho Partner manages to overcome his erratic personality during the scene where Don questions him about the oil robbery. Don holds him at gunpoint and repeatedly demands he tell the truth about the robbery. Don also strongly suspects Wick to be involved, so this is important stuff. But Psycho Partner remains staunch in his assertion that he doesn’t know anything. Well done, PP.

Coyote Ugly may have turned off her entrepreneurial, loan shark side and switched on her romcom side, but she ends up making the smarter decision of choosing Wick over Don. If nothing else, at least those two poor actors won’t have to film any more love scenes together.

AJ’s subplot went in a direction I didn’t expect. I could tell he was kind of resisting the demands of his supposed employer, but I didn’t pick him for having a child held to ransom. There might be a decent father among the men of Blood & Oil yet.

Don’s response to this is hilariously callous, as he simply blackmails AJ into becoming his own spy against AJ’s employers. Lacey, evidently a Briggs through and through, has no objection. Meow.

Oh, and I’m glad to see Peyton List still getting work. She doesn’t have much to do as the spunky granddaughter of Clifton, but she and Chace do flirt just a little bit. So that could give us some soap opera mileage.

Blood & Oil The Birthday Party Peyton List

I wouldn’t mind seeing her pop up in Legends of Tomorrow, too.

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About ijusthateeverything

Sincerity is death.

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