Scream Season 1 Episode 10 – TV Review
Spoiler alert: Cece is Charles.
Nah, I’m just messing with you.
The killer reveal is way more satisfying than that PLL shit.
TL;DR It’s fucking Piper, bitches. Sadly, the only characters who end up dying this episode are Piper and Sheriff (and some random nobody), but it’s a theatrical and fun enough slasher finale. Some more deaths would have really helped, though.
And Audrey is also kind of Piper’s accomplice or something. So at least now we know why our prayers for Audrey’s death were never answered.
So we’re picking up right where last episode left off. Daisy and Emma race to save Sheriff, but are too late to prevent his guts from being ripped out. Aww. Meanwhile, Brooke’s party is in full swing, but Brooke and Audrey aren’t really enjoying themselves. Brooke has some back-and-forth with Jake, but then some random kid gets slashed and the party flees. Hot Teacher shows up and begs Brooke to trust him, but he better find his self another dumb blonde, because she ain’t buying it. She then gets mildly attacked by the killer, as does Audrey. Emma and Friend Zone eventually show up at the house, and Emma reconciles with New Guy after telling him that his daddy is dead. Disappointingly, none of our main characters are dead by the time Emma gets another call from the killer, who lures her down to the lake where Brandon James was killed. Daisy is battered and bound, and the killer finally takes off the mask to reveal… Piper. So her blandness was a front after all. As I predicted, she photocopies Roman Bridger’s motive rant, and almost kills Emma and Daisy. But Audrey suddenly shows up and shoots her. Emma shoots Piper in the head to finish her off, and everyone lived happily ever after. And then there’s a stinger that shows Audrey had some sort of correspondence with Piper, and it’s implied that Audrey is the one who attacked Piper and kidnapped Will that one time.
Well, at least we know she’s guaranteed to die next season. Villains never survive once they’re revealed.
Overall, this first season of Scream was enjoyable more often than it wasn’t. Again, it totally eclipses Eye Candy. And for a first season, it’s more impressive than probably anything Teen Wolf did over its first two seasons.
But goddamn, that kill count is appalling. This is the finale of a slasher property, and the only deaths this episode are Sheriff, who isn’t really a main character; that random kid at the party, who gets killed off-screen (again!); and Piper, who was the villain.
That’s not good enough.
I don’t care how self-aware and meta you want to be. The hot blonde and the dumb jock don’t get to survive.
Let’s keep our fingers crossed that Friend Zone will suffer a similar fate as Randy and swiftly die next season, too.
Why I hate this episode:
Not even fucking Hot Teacher dies. His character is totally disposable. Piper was planning to scapegoat him as the killer and kill him after she was finished with Emma and Daisy. She should have killed him as soon as she had the chance, because now we have to suffer a bit of dialogue that confirms he survived. We need more bodies, people.
The greatest insult is that one of the very, very few bodies we do get belongs to some nobody character that gets two half-scenes, before being found already slashed by yet another nobody character (Skanky Bunny from the Halloween dance).
You know what’s dumber than doing a Let’s Split Up, Gang twice in an episode? Doing it fucking three times. Once Emma and Friend Zone have arrived at Brooke’s and reconciled with New Guy, poor Friend Zone gets shrugged off so they can cover more of the huge house. Friend Zone makes another token comment about how it isn’t safe, but they do it anyway. Then, after Emma and New Guy find Jake and subsequently rescue Brooke from the freezer she’s locked in, Emma and New Guy go off again and leave Jake and Brooke alone for no reason. Then, once the entire gang, including Audrey, is back together out by the pool, New Guy goes off alone to find a first aid kit, and Emma goes off alone to use the landline to call the police. Are you actually fucking kidding me?
Audrey gets an unnecessary and clunky snippet of dialogue after everything’s gone down about how lucky it was that she saw Emma walk off towards the lake and followed her. We didn’t need it. The letter reveal and reminder of the Piper attack incident would have been enough.
Brooke hides in a freezer to escape the killer, but is inevitably attacked, locked in, and the freezer turned on. This is supposed to be super tense. But freezers take forever to get that cold, Scream. Especially ones full of holes. Also, that knife can pierce a fucking freezer like it’s aluminium foil?
Piper’s motive rant isn’t the best. Being evil and psycho doesn’t make her acting any better. And I don’t know if the motive is supposed to be an homage to Roman, or they’re just ripping it off without realising it.
When Audrey gets “attacked” by the killer at the party, she says “What are you waiting for?” Again, I don’t know if they’re trying to reference I Know What You Did Last Summer intentionally, or it’s just an oversight. Given the fact that they missed the opportunity last episode, it doesn’t look good.
The end of the episode is a montage of the survivors with more unbearable narration from Friend Zone. Shut the fuck up. Shit.
In yet another un-Scream move, the closing shot is the stinger of Audrey burning the evidence of her correspondence with Piper. Bitch, Scream ain’t never had no stingers or sequel hooks. So disrespectful.
Oh, and when Emma sees Daisy gagged, tied to a chair, and hopping in alarm at the lake, Emma doesn’t take pause to maybe see if there are any trip wires lying around. Didn’t she learn her lesson from Will?
But it’s not all bad:
The lakeside/pier showdown is the highlight of the entire season. I mean, the motive rant usually is the highlight of any slasher movie, but I’m glad to see Scream didn’t drop the ball on this part, at least. We get a few great wide shots and there’s good lighting and stuff. It all looks a lot more Camp Crystal Lake than Woodsboro, but I’ll allow it.
It totally picked Piper as the killer. She was way too bland and peripheral not to be. Her motive is Roman’s old “I got thrown in the trash so I hate my mum, and I’m also mad that the baby she kept got such a blessed life” schtick. But it works. And I appreciate that Scream is adding to the female killer count. Hey, with Audrey as the apparent accomplice, that’s an extra two to join Jill and Mama Loomis’ ranks. Equality is within reach.
Piper makes sure to admonish Emma for assuming the killer would be male. So sexist of her.
Piper gets a couple of good shots in on Emma and Daisy. Emma attempts to fight Piper off, but gets a slash across her belly for her trouble. Daisy has a go at tackling her, but ends up with a stab to the gut. She was working hard to mount that blonde death count.
Just before she goes to finish Emma off, Piper teases her with one last surprise. It’s at that time that Audrey shoots her, so I presume the surprise was that Audrey was her accomplice.
Emma pays tribute to Sidney when she shoots Piper point blank in the forehead after she attempts one last scare. There are no immortal killers in Scream, baby.
Speaking of paying tribute, the episode starts out with one to Wes Craven, who died this week. It was obligatory, but it still warmed my heart. Whatever heart there is to warm, anyway.
While the body count is low, I was shocked with the magnitude of gore for Sheriff’s death. Emma and Daisy follow a clue which leads them to Sheriff bloodied and taped, standing, to a tree. The killer had earlier made a threat to Emma that this finale would be “gut-wrenching,” so that’s exactly what we get when Daisy pulls off the tape binding Sheriff: his guts literally fall out. I wasn’t ready for it, and it was beautifully sloppy. Daisy, in her shock, feebly tries to put them back in, but Sheriff dies on his feet. I was like fuck, dude.
New Guy puts on a teary when Emma breaks the news to him. What a marshmallow.
Jake and Brooke kind of reconcile. He admits that he was using the spyware on her laptop, but only because he’d noticed it was mysteriously back, and he was hoping it would have clues on who did it. Brooke kind of brushes him off, but they’re all hugs by the end of the episode. Until Word of God says he isn’t gay, though, I’m still banking on that prediction.
The scene where Hot Teacher is trying to convince Brooke to let him inside the house is, I hope, a reference to a similar scene between Charlie and Kirby from Scream 4. Sadly, there’s not slashtastic conclusion to the scene, as the porch lights go off, Brooke runs to the garage once the killer suddenly appears, and Hot Teacher doesn’t appear on-screen again for the rest of the episode. They tried.
The random kid who got killed was annoying, and not hot enough to be on MTV. Good riddance.
Oh, and I really hope that Scream makes sure to push the meta aspects more next season. There are a lot of tropes and observations you can make about TV shows in their second seasons. Aim high, MTV. With Wes Craven dead, we’ll never get another true Scream movie. So it really is up to you, now. And get Audrey an accomplice who’s more memorable than fucking Piper, would you?