Scream Season 1 Episode 7 – TV Review

Scream In The Trenches Emma covered in blood

A tired Mean Girls reference is still wittier than anyone in this show.

Well, praise the Weinsteins, the character death drought is over.

You have to wait until literally the closing seconds of the episode, but it’s there.

TL;DR Will dies, but only at the end; the gang spends the episode looking for and finding him after his kidnapping last episode; Brooke and Jake’s friendship is somehow not frayed by the truth of the blackmail coming out; Emma can’t decide which boy she likes (well, I guess the decision has been made for her now); Audrey is barely around.

We are truly blessed.

My hopes for Piper turning out to be the killer fade more this episode, as she awakes from her attack last episode and ropes in Emma, Brooke, and Jake to help find Will (the killer warns them not to involve the police. Natch). The gang then enlist Friend Zone to use his computer magic to track Will’s phone, which leads our four teens to an abandoned bowling alley. The killer makes a couple of pathetic attempts to menace our heroes, but the only damage they suffer is an ineffective stab wound on Jake. They rescue Will, and Emma decides it’s time to fuck off New Guy, who she’s been romancing, to get back on Will’s dick. And then the killer sets Will in a death trap that Emma accidentally activates and kills him. New Guy is cuter, anyway. Meanwhile, thanks to Piper, Jake has to come clean to Brooke about the blackmail. She’s pissed, but seems to bear no ill will. She’s still worried about the fact that her dad might have murdered her mum (but, like, not that worried). Elsewhere, New Guy covers for Emma to their parents while she’s out rescuing Will, and gets a swift “kthnxbye” for his troubles; Daisy and Sheriff get more coupley; Hot Teacher is MIA; and Audrey spends her episode mostly offscreen doing catch-up tests.

How about we give her catch-up tests every episode? Or just kill her off? I’m not picky.

I want to give this episode a pass. I want to enjoy the scuffle at the bowling alley, and the very juicy death for Will.

But even after the devastating kill drought, I’m not happy with this kill. Scream isn’t about setting farming equipment death traps with trip wires. Scream is about stabbing.

The closest thing to a death trap in the film series is when Tom gets blown up by a gas leak in Scream 3 (the Scooby-Doo-iest of the original trilogy, by the way). But that scene used meta. It was fun. The killer was printing pages off their revised script of Stab 3 (if you don’t know what Stab is in relation to Scream, I pity you) that were describing what was happening to the characters in real time, and Tom was enticed to go inside to keep reading them. The killer had turned off the power, so he used a lighter to read the page, and it blew up the gas that the killer had left on. It works.

Scream killers don’t set fucking trip wires on fucking trench diggers.

 

Why I hate this episode:

Much like that Scream 3 scene, a non-standard kill could have been saved if it had somehow related to the Scream meta approach. But this episode is yet another confirmation that this iteration of Scream isn’t interested in meta. Friend Zone drops the odd title of a movie now and then, but that’s the closest we get. And that isn’t even right, because this is Scream: The TV Show. Not a movie. The lack of meta probably has to do with the lack of slasher TV shows to reference. And I don’t think that problem is ever going away.

Unless the killer intentionally didn’t kill anyone at the bowling alley, that entire sequence was an amazing display of ineptitude. How big is a bowling alley, anyway? They couldn’t hear each other in a silent, deserted building from a few metres or a thin door away? It must have been all part of the plan. No slasher villain could ever be that ineffective.

Brooke’s attitude towards the situation with her dad is bizarre. She evidently thinks that he might have killed her mum. But she’s just palling around at school and stuff like it’s no biggie. Even her confrontation scene with him is weird. She’s like “You better not have killed mum, or I’m gonna be so totally not cool with that.” Well, duh. Also, if you think he murdered your mum, and you suspect him of attacking Will, what’s to stop him from shutting you up?

Emma starts the episode hot and heavy with New Guy, but then within the time frame of a day, is ready to go jump burrow back into Will’s pants. Pointless melodrama.

New Guy’s top priority after Emma and her friends have barely escaped a brush with a serial killer is to be jealous of the fact she helped save Will’s life, instead of coming to dinner with him and their parents. Oh, dear.

Oh, and at the bowling alley, the gang splits up twice. Yeah.

 

But it’s not all bad:

Friend Zone performs the bare minimum of his Randy duties by commenting about how splitting up is a bad idea. It’s something, at least.

Brooke and Jake manage to steal the episode again. Her response to his revelation about the blackmail is to tell him to eat a dick (I’m still betting that he’d be into that, too. Keep your gaydars at the ready), but she’s otherwise willing to be around him. He comes onto her at the bowling alley later, and they have some antagonistic flirtation. But, again, Jake can’t even seal a kiss with her. So my theory still stands.

Jake goes to take a piss, and the killer promptly attacks Brooke, sending her into the backroom with Will and Friend Zone, who have found Will tied up and still alive. Friend Zone tries to make a spear out of a stick and a knife, and Brooke quickly takes over and kits one up. Girl is handy.

Brooke later finds Jake with a knife in his chest, so she pulls it out. I’m certain that is medically irresponsible, but goddamn, she’s a good pal.

After everything’s gone down, Friend Zone bounces an idea off Audrey that Will and Jake could have set up the bowling alley kerfuffle to deflect blame from them, and to get Will back in Emma’s good books. Because it did.

Friend Zone still isn’t out of the suspicion woods yet, either. His excitement over the killer draws an irked response from Emma. With any luck, she’ll soon detest him as much as I do.

Hot Teacher is noticeably absent from class this episode, and the malware/spyware is gone from the school server. So he’s still in the race. And even though Piper got attacked by the killer last episode, Scream traditionally has two killers (Scream 3 being the exception), so she’s in with a chance. And isn’t it convenient that she happened to find a message for her to get Emma to go searching for Will, and that the cops can’t be involved?

New Guy also turns up at the bowling alley with a flimsy excuse (he heard it on the police scanner) just after the killer is out of sight. He’s such a Billy.

Sheriff mentions that State Detective has been taken off the case and sent packing. Maybe that means he’ll be put back on?

Emma finds out that Brandon James used to work at the bowling alley via a clue carved into Will’s back. She also finds an audio tape of her father for some kind of PTSD project. She listens, and her father describes how he has nightmares after discovering that Daisy had sex with Brandon. Oh, Daisy. You didn’t mention that in your little reminiscence last episode. You slinky minx.

Oh, and Brooke and Jake are pretty much the anti-Friend Zone and Audrey. Because Friend Zone and Audrey are rubbish. I can’t imagine them pulling knives out of each other.

Scream In The Trenches Brooke Jake stabbed

Oh, honey. There isn’t any stabbing in Scream. What genre do you think this is? A slasher?

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About ijusthateeverything

Sincerity is death.

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